(Closed) Catholic Church

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My FI is not Catholic and I am and we are both getting married in the Catholic church.  Our particular priest will not do a full mass since he is not Catholic, but i have friends who were not Catholic who were able to do a full mass. We also do not regularly go to church but plan on it when we have kids, so we played that angle. We also live together and actually talk about pre-marital sex with our priest and there are no issues. You will be fine – good luck!

Post # 4
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

since he’s a lapsed catholic (you said neither of you have been to church since you were younger) you may not be able to unless he goes through RCIA or something in order to get in good standing with the church – the only way to know is to talk to a priest. you not being catholic is not as big of a deal as that is. FH isn’t catholic, but he was baptized and would like to raise our future kids catholic as well – we have the option of full nuptial mass or just ceremony and we’re choosing the latter. all churches want new members, you should try out the ones in your immediate area (check your archdiocese’s site) and see which one you’re most comfortable in. some parishes do make it a rule that you need to have been a member for a certain amount of time (ex 6 mo) before you can be married there though.

Post # 5
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would contact your local church and see what they say.Some Catholic churches require you to be registered- many are very wary of people who are church-shopping for pretty architecture (I don’t think you’re doing that, but some people do), so you’ll probably have better luck looking at your local church (the one you will be attending) than you would at, say, the non-local cathedral. They’ll also want proof of your FI’s baptism, but that’s easy to get (you’ll just call the church he was baptized at, and they’ll send it over).

If neither of you has had first communion, and also because you aren’t baptized, you’ll probably want to have a nuptial ceremony, not a full Mass. Don’t worry- the ceremony is just as lovely, and is mostly the same, except that communion isn’t involved. This is because you wouldn’t be able to receive communion (so it may be awkward for you to even have it served). The nuptial-only ceremony is common, and is chosen by many people.

As for accepting new members, any Catholic church ought to accept new members. The standard is to go with the church most local to you. Just go to the church and tell the priest you want to register. The diocese of Pittsburgh website lists churches.

A good site for Catholic weddings is Catholicweddinghelp.com.

Post # 7
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Upcomingbride: That might help, since they may remember him and they ought to already have all of his records! You should talk to the priest first thing. He may want you to register and start going to church, or he may not ask about it. You’ll also have to do pre-cana (the marriage preparation classes), but it really isn’t as scary as it sounds!

Post # 8
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the same boat. FH is Catholic (baptized, communion, confirmation) but has not gone since he was younger. I was baptized and had communion as an Anglican and we both attended the same Catholic high school. We just got engaged and started to go to church and will register this weekend and set up a meeting to speak to the priest to talk about marriage. We are 18 months away from our wedding day and would love to secure the date ASAP. I really hope we don’t have to wait 6 months as per PP.

Post # 9
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are both catholic, but at our first pre-wedding meeting there were a number of couples that were not both catholic.  They weren’t even getting married at our church.  They were just doing the premarriage prep at our church.  I don’t think it will be a problem that you are not both catholic.  If your FI is confirmed, he shouldn’t have to do RCIA.   You would do RCIA if you wanted to convert.  I would contact them as soon as possible though.  Our church wanted us to contact them at least 8 months in advance.  Catholic churches have a lot of requirements.  Our church has us meeting with a marriage councelor on 4 different occasions, 2 of which are classes that he teaches to a group of engaged couples.  We have to meet with the priest several times, I think at last 6 times.  We have a weekend encounter, which is a weekend retreat.  Those book up as well, so you have to give yourself time to be able to squeeze that in before the wedding.  I think we are supposed to meet with a financial advisor as well.  We don’t have enough married couples serving as sponsors at our church.  But some churches also require that you meet with a sponsor couple.  Our church required us to be registered at our church to do the premarriage prep there.  We thought about getting married in PR.  Of course we couldn’t be registered there, that wasn’t going to be a problem as long as we were signed off properly by a priest.  Some churches really make you do a lot, so I would jump on that sooner than later, so you know what to expect.

Post # 10
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Welcome! 

Churches are always open to new members! To officially become a “Catholic” (vs someone who is registered at the church), you will need to go through RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults). If that’s not something you are up for yet, you can still get married in the Catholic church.

As far as your fiance goes, since he is Catholic, he can also go back to church. it might be good for him to go to confession, so that it can be a sort of starting over, and a clean slate helps wit that.

If you do want to raise your kids Catholic, I would recommend going to mass! It’ll help you realize if that is what you want for yourselves and your family, as well as for your wedding. No one is sitting there taking roll, but if its something you want to do in the future, it doesn’t hurt to start now!

Post # 11
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am Catholic, FH is not. The church we are getting married at required one of us to be registered at a parish. We are not getting married at my parish, as our reception is a 45min drive, so I had to get baptismal records and a letter stating I was a parishoner. 

Some churches allow you to become a parishoner and will agree to book your ceremony after you have been registered for 6 months, then you need 6 months of counseling with your priest. I would talk to the church you wish to be married in and see what they require. Also if your fiance’s parents are parishoners, they can talk to the church with you and that may help. 

Post # 13
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sometimes the church will just make you sign something saying you will raise the children Catholic. Consider going to RCIA and making it official? I would just talk to churches in the area. Usually, if you or him have any ties in a church around your area they will work with you. Good luck!

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