Post # 1
So the wedding is in a catholic church, we are both catholic and I can remember when women always wore a veil into church, even in regular clothes (I’m 42). I have a great dress, it’s strapless (aren’t almost all of them?). When I found the dress it never occured to me that it could be scandalous to be bare shouldered. I really just want to wear a pretty headband. I think I should ask the priest how he feels about it. My friends tell me not to, that way he won’t have the opportunity to voice his opinion. My FMIL (who is ALL catholic) tells me I’m OK and the veil is old thinking…I think she’s just trying to sound ‘cool’. I’m sure I’m going to end up with a veil in the church…you know how you answer your own question as you write it…but really…..Is it wrong to not ask the priest how he feels about it? A bolero would kill the dress…hmmm, is a veil over my shoulders decent enough…if I do it?
Post # 3
If it were me, I wouldn’t bother asking the priest. I’ve been to weddings in Catholic churches before where the bride had a strapless dress and did not wear a veil.
Post # 4
At the Chuch i go to we wear chapel veils for regular Mass, which is really how it should be and respectful. So, if you are Catholic then I advise you wear one out of respect, and that you also cover your shoulders. Just my two cents
Post # 5
We were talking about this subject a few days ago @ work. Turns out one of my co-workers was in a wedding a few years ago where the bride and all the bridal party could not have bare shoulders so the bride wore a bolero and all the BM’s (haha, I always giggle when I type BM) had to wear a pashmina type shawl. A bit much but the 140 year old monsignor was marrying them and he was very old school. Would you want to chance getting to church on your wedding and the priest saying “uh oh, your shoulders are bare – your marriage is doomed, go put on a t-shirt or something?”
I do think it’s ok to not wear a veil though
Post # 6
i didn’t wear a veil, my bridesmaids bared their shoulders, and the priest didn’t care. there was a clause in the wedding guidelines saying that we had to dress ‘appropriately’, but that was more along the lines of not having the dress cut down to your belly button or showing your whole back.
it probably depends on parish, but you should be fine with what you have.
Post # 7
Is there a wedding coordinator that you’re working with at the church that you could ask? Who is having the rehearsal at the church? Maybe you could ask that person.
I think it’s better to know ahead of time and be on the safe side.
Personally, I will be wearing a bolero and a veil. I needed the bolero because I don’t feel comfortable showing my shoulders.
Post # 8
I got married in a catholic church and on my wedding day I completely forgot about my veil. I was a bit disappointed that I forgot it but oh well.
Post # 9
Some churches have rules about no bare shoulders. I’d ask the priest.
Post # 10
It probably depends on the church. I was at a Catholic wedding last summer and the bride did not wear a veil.
Post # 11
I would ask the priest what his thoughts on this are and if there is a yes/no rule for this issue at your church (many Catholic churches do require a veil but others don’t mind either way).
Post # 12
I’m not having a classic veil in my catholic wedding (but birdcage)… and I will not tell the priest before (my dress is strapless, too). But I really think: If he doesn’t tell you before, that you have to cover your shoulders, he won’t care about it…
Post # 13
It depends on the church. I wouldn’t ask the priest – if it’s in your FMIL’s church and she says it’s ok – then I think you’re safe. My mom isn’t thrilled with the idea of bridesmaids having bare shoulders in church, but she’ll get over it. But that’s just my mom being old fashioned – not our church.
I’m getting married in Catholic church and like TexicanMexican our priest only asks us to be appropriate. My bridesmaids will be in long strapless dresses, my gown is strapless. I really didn’t want to wear a veil but my father asked if I would so he could do the whole lifting of the veil at the alter thing, so I gave in. Otherwise I wouldn’t be wearing one.
Post # 14
I agree- it depends on the church. I know some churches dont have issues with bare shoulders. My church is a lot more conservative and I will be wearing a veil. My bridesmaids have been told that they cannot wear strapless dresses unless they wear something to cover their shoulders too (cardi, wrap, etc). But apparently halters are okay…
Post # 15
I hope not! I’m getting married in the Catholic Church and can’t stand the idea of wearing one… I have short, spikey hair and a veil would look horrific. Jeweled headband- yes, veil- I pray I don’t have to do it!
Post # 16
I wore a strapless dress as a quinceanera at a Catholic church.