Post # 1
I’m just lookinf for some opinions on my situation. I’m getting married in about 2 weeks, and the planning process has been pretty smooth, but rocky when dealing with my catholic mother in law. My Fiance is not very religious, but her mother is. I am not religious at all, but I have a very Hindu family. I’ve been very hands off with the planning process, my only request was no religious wedding. This did not go over well with her mother. After about a week of her mother being angry at us, I said we can do a semi catholic ceromony, but would not do it in a church. So we decided to do the ceremony at the reception hall. We went with a interfaith priest (retired priest), and during our meeting with him I said not to mention Jesus, he agreed that “God” would be used instead.
Now that we are getting close to the wedding, we are finalizing details of the ceremony, and were asked if we were going to do readings. Her mother wants to do readings, and they are going to be from the Bible. Now, my mother, being very Hindu,, asks, “can we do one hindu reading after the catholic readings”, and now everyone is up in arms.
Is it just me, or is her mother being very insensitive to my family’s feelings? Im I wrong in feeling that we should have something for my family?
Again, I want to reiterate that I have had a completely hands off approach to everything else.
Post # 3
I would talk to your Fiance, decide what you want and where the line is. If you don’t want readings, then tell both no. If you want to please both, then do both. I would either include both or none if I were in your shoes.
Post # 4
If I were you, I would do the catholic readings AND the/a Hindu reading. Would it reeeally upset or offend you? Looking at the whole picture, it would be very meaningful for your FI’s mom, meaningful for your family- and it would only take 15 minutes-ish!
I say, if the rest of the day is how YOU want it, give a little and make your parents and future Mother-In-Law happy, especially since it’ll only take a few minutes 🙂
Just my 2 cents!
Post # 5
@RaeTRud:I actually don’t mind doing both readings, it’s my fiance’s mother that has a problem with it. She it to be completely catholic, and I don’t think she understands that my family is Hindu, or is sensitive to it.
Post # 6
@recipe12: coming from a catholic, i want to tell you that that really sucks. PP hit the nail on the head – you guys need to draw a line with Future Mother-In-Law. contributions and suggestions are only that, the marriage is about you and your fiancee coming together and there’s not much togetherness in someone outside of your union barring a reading from your religion. this is a battle i’d fight. this is an interfaith marriage and the ceremony should reflect it! a simple “we thought about your suggestion, but for our ceremony we will be including both readings so that we are both represented.” and that’s final! if she wants to throw a tantrum about it, that’s just her being a selfish brat.