Catholic question: How should we handle ceremony?

posted 2 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

As a Catholic,I would much rather see a person get married outside the Church than to get married in the Church and not agree with it. A Catholic wedding is a sacrament and that is not something to take lightly. Also, if you did get married in the Church you are agreeing to raise your future children Catholic, which you two clearly do not want to do. Who would want to lie on their wedding day?

So I say stick with what you want to do. Also, thank you for realizing that the Catholic Church takes the sacrament of marriage very seriously and for not doing it to please someone else. You need to make that decision to get married in the Church because you want to do it, not to please family.

 

As for your second question, I’m not sure it would even make sense to have your marriage validated in the eyes of the Church, because neither of you are Catholic, and why if you don’t want to practice the Catholic faith? Again, you would be doing it for someone else and not you.

Post # 3
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Depends really how relgious they are and what they truly believe. I know my family is very religious in practice and words, but at the end of the day, a religious ceremony in itself would probably be enough if that is what made us happy. Lots of Catholics are more relaxed on this now.

Post # 4
Member
3677 posts
Sugar bee

MissSeptember13:  FYI, you, as the non-Catholic party, do not have to promise to raise your children Catholic. (It used to be the case, but not any more). Your FI (since the Church considers him Catholic, even if he himself doesn’t) would have to promise to make every effort to raise children in the faith. So, the real question is whether he would make that promise in bad faith, or refuse to make it in good faith.

I think the best thing to do would be to talk to the priest and explain the situation, and have him tell you whether he would be willing and able to participate in your wedding in some way. I have seen a Catholic priest co-officiate at a wedding in a Protestant church (although the circumstances were different – the bride was a practicing Catholic waiting for her annulment to go through, so they couldn’t plan the wedding in their parish unless they delayed it …) Anyhow, talk to the priest and get his input.

Post # 5
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

There are two factors here. Firstly, your FI was not confirmed. I think I am right in saying that he would have to be confirmed in order to receive the sacrament of marriage. Clearly, he would not be willing to do this.

Secondly, the Catholic party has to promise to do everything in their power to raise their children Catholic and not to leave the faith. Your FI would clearly be unwilling to do this, as well.

I’m not sure that this sounds like such a good idea. I would just stick to the ceremony you planned.

Post # 6
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

No, the sacrament of confirmation is not required to get married.

Post # 7
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MissSeptember13:  I would do what you want.

I think that it depends on the priest. I don’t believe that our priest specifically said “Will you raise your children Catholic” – he just said with the belief in God or something of that sort. I’m Catholic and my fiance was baptized Catholic but didn’t have any of the other Sacraments. Our priest was pretty progressive, though, and really awesome. So he was really easy going on pretty much everything. 

Post # 8
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If I’m not mistaken, a Catholic priest will not marry couples outside of the church because Catholic weddings are to be taken place inside the church.

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2015

His family might be upset but if he is not a practicing Catholic it should not matter! Get married in the garden as planned

 

Post # 10
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Will Catholic priests even participate in interfaith ceremonies? It sounds like a moot point. If they won’t allow a Catholic wedding in a location other than a Catholic church, it seems unlikely that they will participate in a non-Catholic wedding in a garden.

Post # 11
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

daisyfay:  Yes, priests will marry a person who is Catholic and someone of another religion. However, in order to be valid the wedding does (with a few exceptions) need to take place in the Church. There are may reasons for that.

Post # 12
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Swebs14:  By interfaith I meant weddings incorporating two separate traditions into the ceremony, not weddings in which one person is not Catholic.

Post # 13
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

 

kearaaaaaa:  this. i also don’t think that a catholic priest will marry you outside the church. if i recall our readings for our upcoming catholic ceremony, i do think that we also have to promise to raise our kids catholic soooooooooo i say keep doing what you’re doing! if FIs family is THAT intense catholic, then even interfaith ceremony will not be good enough for them i bet lol

Post # 14
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Rachel631:  Not true. My FI was only baptized, no first communion or confirmation, and our catholic priest has no qualms with marrying us. (he’s obviously encouraged him to look into it which he is, after the wedding is said and done…)

Post # 15
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

kristen182:  He would have to promise to raise the children Catholic though… there’s a paper you have to sign when you apply for your dispensation for an interfaith marriage…

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