Catholic vs Christian

posted 3 years ago in Interfaith
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

When I first read the title of your post, I thought “That’s me – raised catholic, but not anymore”.  My mom is Catholic, and I had to go all the way through confirmation.  Just in the past few years did I really start to believe, and I became a Lutheran.  FI is now a Lutheran as well.

I like the compromose of having the Lasso and Aras, but to have the ceremony civil in nature.  I think this is one of those areas where parents can get stuck in “that’s not how it’s always been done – what will people think of us???”.  

Member
9572 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you guys need to really sit down and hammer out where YOU come down on religion.  Are you thinking of having kids in the future? Have you discussed how they will be raised?  If you can’t even get a consensus on how to be married (what religion, where, civil vs. religious), these other issues will most definitely pop up down the road and cause more trouble. 

FWIW,  I’m Catholic and FI is Jewish.  We are both set in our faiths and neither of us will convert (completely fine), so we are doing a civil ceremony incorporating both faiths. 

Member
7607 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2017

um, Catholicism is a branch of Christianity, what branch of Christianity is your FI?

My FI went to a Catholic primary school, was baptised in a Catholic church, but is atheist. I am Anglican, but we do make it work :)

it is your wedding, you can do what you want, but maybe include elements of both if possible :)

Member
8521 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Jacqui90:  This is what I was going to say. A Catholic is a Christian.

I was baptized Catholic but I don’t practise. My FI is Pentacostal (also a Christian) and used to go to Church a lot. He’s not religious but he has a lot of faith so we’ve been going to church almost every week. I actually really enjoy it :)

Member
5297 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly, my first thought is: this is none of either of your parents’ business!!  Sheesh. This is for you and your FI to work out together. If you both like the arrangement, and his pastor agrees to it, you don’t need to get permission from anyone else.

Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not having a Catholic wedding officiated by a priest, means you’re not married in the eyes of the Catholic church (unless you have it validated by them afterwards – I can’t remember the term for that).

However, as a Catholic, you are already a Christian, so any religious details that sneak into the ceremony shouldn’t be offensive to either family – you both believe in the same God (including Jesus). I think in the end, the ceremony will go smoothly regardless and your family will get over it in the end.  Do what works for you and your FI.

 

 

Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am confused.

Christ…as in Jesus…is what makes all Christians..well…Christians! lol

I am Catholic because my mother was and it is tradition to be christened / baptized in the religion of the mother, but most of my family (as I’m more familiar with my father’s side ) are Anglican. There really isn’t very much of a difference….at all. My FI is Anglican, and we are getting married in the Anglican church. And I will be considered married in all christian churches after that.

If your family is devout Catholic, then you need to sit with them and explain that this is the choice you are making for your children. As long as they are going to be following some form of Christianity, and raised with good morals, why should it matter????? We don’t have any branches of the church you FI is in, so I’m guessing there must be a lot of differences?

Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My fiance was raised catholic and I was raised christian. I understand wanting to make your parents happy and respecting their wishes but honestly, who cares? It’s your wedding and what you and your fiance believe is what’s important. We are having a christian wedding, fiance is no longer catholic and goes to christian church with me. His family is not thrilled about it, they are VERRYYYY stong catholics but it’s not up to them.

You need to do whatever is right in your heart. God doesnt care either way, both a catholic and a christian marriage are blessed by Him. If you plan to raise your children christian and you are no longer a practicing catholic, then your family will have to understand that’s the way it is.

Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i think it’s really up to you two. what’s the point of going through certain ceremonies if you don’t believe in them. they’ll just be meaningless formalities.

btw, i’m a practicing catholic. fi was a christian but he and i went to a catholic school in elementary and eventually he started going to church with me every sunday. a few years ago, he converted into catholicism (which really isn’t a huge difference). so now we’re marrying in a traditional catholic ceremony. his family respects that. :)

Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I was baptized Anglican but consider myself to be athiest. My FI was raised devote catholic but hasnt practiced in years aside from xmas mass. The first thing out of my FFIL’s mouth when we told him was “You have to get married in the church” to which we told him we are not getting married in a church, and if he had a problem with that, he ddnt have to attend, his choice. He’s never mentioned it since. This is your life, your marriage, you need to do what is right for you. Your parents had the choice in how they got married and raised their families, now it is your turn to make your own choices. Be firm and they should back off the control issues.

Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Athiest here. I was born into a Catholic family (Italian girl) but my father wanted to get as far from his family as possible. So my parents raised me Baptist. That being said, if ANYBODY on either side of my family or FI’s (we totally agree on this) told me I had to get married in a church, or under any kind of religion, I would say no. If they threatened not to come? They don’t have to. Respect EVERYBODY’S belief, even if it’s non-belief

Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Catholics are Christian. The whole internal war between Catholic and non-Catholic Christian titles has always been baffling and seemd kind of petty from the outside – there was a lot of that where I grew up in Texas.

This is your wedding. Do what fits you and the new family you are forming first. Weddings are really about creating boundaries that protect you and your FI as a new family unit. Looks like this is Battle #1. Stand your ground.

Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh, HAHAHA

Just saw that you are in Texas.

Yep. It makes sense now.

(to give you an idea – when my public high school wanted to hold our graduation  baccalaureate at a beautiful new Catholic church in town, the non-Catholic Christians picketed. It was that aggressive)

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