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Well, do you have a lay person minister who does marriage prep and/or related paper work in your church? he/she should give you a good ballpark.
If circumstances permitting, I would pay at least $100.
I've heard again and again that the suggested priest donation is from $150-$200 at least from here on the bee and within my area.
I do think it depends on the area of the country. I do agree with pren79 in that you could ask someone or call the rectory and speak with the assistant, they should know or offer help
-- you could also ask the priest too in a polite manner as I did ("Father, is there a suggested or appropriate honorarium?").
I would say that if the organist is $125, you should think about giving the priest more than that.
And remember, because it is a gift to the priest (religious offering) you can deduct it from your taxes.
We're doing $100, but we're in a small town. I'd say $150-200 is appropriate, but I can almost guarantee he's probably recieved much less and much more than that. Look at it this way --- he's the person who will be truly making your marriage valid. What's it worth??
We're giving $150. I'm interested to hear what others have to say, because ours was a total guess, as well!
We hadn't decided yet - we still have a bit :-)
I just want to throw out there in regards to Appleblossom's comment, that the couple actually gives the sacrament to each other.... not the priest conferring it on you... :-)
I wondered this as well - but we received a little folder of info from our church and luckily it says that the typical gift amount is $50-$100.
We're not being asked to pay a cent for our wedding, so we're donating $200 to the church and $100 to our priest (a friend of FI) and $50 to the priest who's doing our pre-marital counseling.
Wow, you guys are lucky. For some reason to get married at our church it was $860 total. That includes priest fee, altar boys, pre-marital class, organist, and whatever else. It was considered "financial obligation." We were shocked to say the least, but its a beautiful church.
I had to pay two churches because I had to take pre-cana classes in one state and a "donation" to the church where I was getting married.
For the actual priest who was marrying us, I had to donate $150.
But the pre cana classes cost me $200.
For the alter servers, we gave them $15 each.
For the organist, it was $150.
For the soloist, it was $150.
Both of which were near big cities... Seattle and Philadelphia. I don't know if that makes a difference on how expensive things are.
Hmm. I'm wondering if the donation to the priest is tax deductible since it's really a personal gift? I'd check with your tax person on the priest gift. I know donations for the wedding to the church are deductible. ANy CPa's care to chime in?
$600 for our church (up $200 from the previous year). I'm not sure how to even address additional donations but another large church in downtown Milwaukee costs $750.
I've always heard to get married in a church was just a donation of like $200 or so. Learning is was $860 was shocking and def. took a hit on our budget. Our church is in Cleveland, OH and not even in the Downtown area. I thought it was ironic though that the priest made a comment about how expensive weddings are?! Yeah, ya think?
$500 to reserve the church, $150 as a donation to the priest (I just checked with our music director who says this is sort of the going rate in our area), $350 for the music director/organist, $250 for the cantor, $250 for a trumpeter, $50 for an altar server and ~$300 for our engaged encounter weekend. And that does not even count the cost of decorating the church! It's definitely expensive but I think it will be totally worth it =)
@ kayakgirl73 - My donation to the priest is lump-sum into the donation to the church (they "take care of it" in terms of handing out the money) so it's considered tax deductible. I'm going to ask a CPA in my office tomorrow to see if giving a donation directly to a priest would be (if it isn't I would think that it would be seen as income for the priest, and the priest would have to state it as such, and be taxed). I'll get back to everyone on what the verdict is.
My church in southern Wisconsin charged us $120. I asked the wedding coordinator at the church if it was appropriate to "tip" the priest extra, and she said no, that charge covered everything. Maybe that means for us the church itself was free and the money was just going to the priest. I certainly hope that lady didn't advise me to stiff our priest!!
I agree with the other posters that, depending on where you live, $100 to $200 is appropriate.
I too was shocked at the cost of our Catholic wedding. Church - $750, Priest - $200, Alter Servers - $20 each, $450 for two musicians
I think it depends on where you live. For us it was:
Suggested donation for the church $100-$200
Suggested donation for the priest $75-$150
Minister of Music: $150
Altar Servers: $15 each
Sacristans: $30 each
Our priest said that since I am a member of the parish that the priest's fee is normally waived at our parish. We're still going to give him $100 though because I feel it is polite and thoughtful. Our priest also said that he prefers not to have altar servers during the Ceremony/Mass which was nice. That sacristan thing is the only annoying bit. We have some ladies in the parish that are in charge of the decorations. Two of them are in charge of setting out decorations for weddings. I can understand that they are needed to make sure that everything is done correctly (ie live flowers only around the altar) but i find it annoying. Mostly because I know the rules and are going to follow them decoration wise, why can't I have a friend set it up the morning of? but then I feel like a brat complaining about $60. but money adds up!
With all the costs of weddings and honeymoons, comparitavely I feel like this really isn't a big cost and you should honestly assess how much you can give. In most churches you meet with the priest several times, have a rehearsal and then invite a large amount of people to witness your day, also if you're part of the church what has the church as a community has done for your relationship. This situation is going to be different for everyone, as well as financial situations, but I'd feel a tinge of guilt if I pay $500 for favors that people are going to toss but then only $100 for the church.
This is a hot topic in my house. My mom comes from a devout Irish Catholic family and I have some cousins, Aunts & Uncles who are nuns and priests or Jesuit brothers. The argument is that it's against cannon law for the church to charge you a fee in order to receive a sacrament, but that's a whole 'nother thread.
Ours is costing us $1,000.00 - it's not even a suggested donation.
$100 for maintenance fees (lights on in the church, mics plugged in, etc.) - I'm totally cool with this BTW.
$300 for the organist (whether or not we use her, even if we bring in our own musicians)
$300 for the Cantor (same as above)
$300 to make sure we get there on time (this we should get back, they only keep it if you're late & push back their reg. Sunday mass schedule)
We're not allowed to throw anything in the aisles (a FG with rose petals, etc) and if we want anything thrown as we exit the church we have to use their "services" read: the school janitor to clean it, even if it's something like birdseed or something else biodegradable.
That doesn't even include the $197 for pre-cana.
@BVIG I totally agree. I haven't even added it up and I don't have much inclaination to do so. Even though it feels like it, the Church is not a wedding vendor and we are trying not to treat the Church like one. Mr P and I are really trying to assess how much we can give the Priest- regardless of what is customary.
If we were going to get married in our church it would have cost about $900 and those were all required costs. I live in a suburb and thought that was little bit much, but that is about the going rate for all the churches around me.
In preparation for your wedding, try to think about what this all means. The Church is providing a service to you, one that is a great blessing. The donation to the Priest is something that comes from the heart.
So the question is... what does it really mean for you to receive the Sacrament? Surely what the Priest is doing would be deemed more important than the organist, flowers, and even the photographer. So give with your heart, and if you can, give generously. Personally, I'd recommend $200.
Total cost of our Church Mass is $2000, but this is because we are non parishoners. It is a beautiful Church, and this is THE most important part of the day for my fiance and I. More so than the reception itself...
In the end, I've discussed this with my fiance... and for what we are getting...! It is well worth it....
Getting married in a Catholic church definitely adds up quickly--use of church $200, donation to priest $150, organist $125, pre-cana $75. Definitely didn't budget that much!
Actually I was surprised at how AFFORDABLE our church wedding is. We're paying $760 total which includes a donation to the church, payment to the organist, wedding coordinator, altar servers and soloist. We will give a separate gift to the deacon who's putting through the paperwork for us, and to the priest who's actually marrying us (he's a family friend).
For an outdoor wedding, or a secular ceremony in the same hotel as our reception, it would cost $1000 just for the room!! Then another $150-$200 for an officiant and much more in decorations since it wouldn't be nearly as ornate as the church.
We were actually really surprised that a Catholic ceremony was cheaper than a secular one. We will probably give our priest friend a donation or gift of $150, and the deacon $50 since he hasn't really done much for us (we did pre-cana elsewhere and he isn't coming to the rehearsal or ceremony).
We have to pay 750 to have the wedding in the church and that includes the organist fee. I cannot believe some churches are only asking for 100-200 or nothing but a donation. Now I am wondering even more how they came up with the price of 750??
Wow! We are being asked to donate $200 total for everything--priest, AC, organist, etc. There aren't going to be any altar servers, and a friend is the eucharistic minister. We may give a bit more, but my parents have been members for over 30 years and feel they have donated enough for us not to feel guilty about only giving the $200.
Our Church is a $600 fee for the church and priest. We then have the cantor fee (but we will have friends instead) and the organist fee (who you pay either way). Our pamphlet didn't say anything about costs for pre-cana classes. Have you found charges for the classes to be fairly typical?
Ours is $1000 for use of the Church. If we were parishioners, they still expect the same contribution, but it would be split up in the envelopes at each Sunday's Mass.
On top of that, it's about $150 for the donation to the priest, and we're hoping to keep it at $300 for the musicians. Luckily, it's a gorgeous old church, so we shouldn't have to spend much on decor.
Our church is $600 for the ceremony, $125.00 PMI, and $150.00 Pre Cana. Plus we will be giving a donation to the priest so it's going to be over a grand.
I think $175-$200 for the priest will be good karma. :) Isn't the most important thing getting married in the church before God and your community?
Call the rectory and ask what people typically give. I'd consider how much you are paying for other parts of your wedding celebration and base it off of that. In my opion if you're spending $20,000 on the day, $100 would seem a bit low (but no one would say or think anything of it).
We spent the following; Nothing was required.
We got married in my childhood church in WV where my parents are still parishoners. We did do Pre-Cana at FI's church in Virginia which required Engaged Encounter that ran about $300.
Donation to church building fund $250
Donation to local parish priest $100 and we had him to the rehersal dinnerm, he was invited to the reception but didn't attend due to celebrating the 5:00pm mass.
Priest who married us - nothing - Groom's Uncle and GodFather
Altar server $20
Organist $50 (friend of my mom's) we also invited her and her husband to the Rehersal Dinner.
Vocalist -- Family Friend - her services were a gift, but we still gave her $50.00
Low costs, but this was WV and we had a lot of friendor's.
The original place I wanted was 2000.00 for JUST the church plus another 1000.00 in fees and that was w/o them supplying a preist.
The place we are getting married allows any kind of religion and to get married Catholic is the most expensive, the building is 800.00 with a discount and to have a preist or deacon and the service is an extra 1200.00, we are no longer doing the Catholic service and its saving us $1000.00. Ridiculous!
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When we met with our priest this week he told us the church will be $200, the organist will be $125, and the only additional charge would be to pay him whatever we felt was appropriate. I don't want to be insulting but I don't want to pay him more than we have to, so how much is appropriate to pay him for performing our ceremony?