(Closed) Catholic wedding without communion, help!

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My cousin was married in October of 2008 and she had a similar situation where half of her guests (on her dad’s side mostly) weren’t Catholic and couldn’t partake in Communion.  The priest performing her wedding ceremony actually seemed displeased that they had ended up choosing to have the marriage in the context of the mass.

We are also going to be telling my dad that we will not be having the ceremony with communion and at our wedding classes they mentioned that both options were perfectly acceptable and it was our choice (and told us a number of times not to let our parents bully us).  If my dad has a problem I’m going to direct him to speak to the priest about it, who is on our side.  I know he won’t dare, so I think we’ll succeed.  Maybe suggest the same to your unhappy relatives?

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Would the priest be open to giving non-catholics a blessing instead of communion?

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

There are plenty of reasons why a Catholic should not go up to receive communion as well:  State of mortal sin, hasn’t fasted for an hour. 

In my programs I explained the rules as politely as possible and offered a prayer in the program for a Spiritual Act of Communion to be prayed if they were comfortable praying it.  My priest also explained them at the homily.  Meanwhile not everyone in the wedding party went up to receive because not all were Catholic.  I think the fact that people realized they weren’t the only ones sitting out helped it to go over better.  Out of probably 90 guests, we had about 20 people receive the Eucharist and it wasn’t divided between one family or another.  If people realize that this is not simply the exclusion of non-Catholics, than I think they’re a little bit more ok with it.  Besides, sitting out is an amazing act of humility, and that is a step toward greater holiness.

Post # 7
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I attended a wedding last month with this same situation (groom had converted to Catholicism).  They still did the whole Eucharistic prayer, but only the bride and groom received communion.  They had a note in their program saying something to the effect of “In recognition of the many faiths joining us today, and in an effort to uphold the unity of our two families, only Name and Name will be receiving communion.  We ask that the rest of the assembly respectfully kneel or sit during this time.”  It wasn’t awkward at all.  Some of my friends were annoyed because now the wedding didn’t “count” for mass, but technically weddings don’t count unless they are done after the vigil mass with that week’s readings, so that’s something I woulodn’t worry about. 

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I also recently attended a wedding where only the bride and groom received communion and I didn’t think it was weird at all.  Other than that it was a full Catholic mass wedding.  I didn’t hear anything about the family being mad, but then again I was only a friend of the bride and groom.  Who knows if they had something to say about it in private afterward.  Honestly though, the way your ceremony goes is up to you and your fiance. 

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Do what you and your Fiance want to do.  I think it’s great your priest is supportive and even suggested that.  My Fiance and I are going to have Communion but there is only 30 people going to be there.  My family isn’t Catholic but they’re supportive.  I’m sure FI parents would be peeved if we didn’t have the Holy Eucharist but eh, they aren’t happy about alot of things, I try not to take what they want as what we want.  It’s yours, your Fiance, and God and I think you should do what you feel most comfortable with!

Post # 10
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Have you tried explaining the situation to the in-laws so they understand why you are not doing the full mass? I’m in a similar situation (my family is Catholic) and my Mom was pretty upset at first. But once we explained the whole thing about uniting the two families, and to do communion would be more of a division, she started to understand. Its also worth explaining that the Priest suggested doing it that way – that helped appease my Mom a bit when she realized that is what the church recommended.

Post # 11
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Have you tried explaining the situation to the in-laws so they understand why you are not doing the full mass? I’m in a similar situation (my family is Catholic) and my Mom was pretty upset at first. But once we explained the whole thing about uniting the two families, and to do communion would be more of a division, she started to understand. Its also worth explaining that the Priest suggested doing it that way – that helped appease my Mom a bit when she realized that is what the church recommended.

Post # 12
Member
23 posts
Newbee

Thanks for posting this. I am in a similar situation. I’m a catholic my fi is not. The priest suggested having a non communion mass but I thought that was very strange (not to mention my mom would probably complain). But now I begin to think maybe it is best to not make half of the guests feeling left out.

Post # 13
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am in a similar situation and we opted to NOT have the full mass with our ceremony.  This was a decision made between my fiance and I, in the best interest of our guests.  The majority of the guests are not Catholic and would have NO idea what is going on…we didn’t think that would be a very unifying and comforting environment either.  My parents were not pleased, especially since my mother recently was baptized, and a few other members of the church were not happy with our decision either. But we gave our reasoning and stuck with our decision, which we truly feel is that best option.  I would suggest having his family talk to the priest, maybe if they hear it from the man in charge they will be more receptive to the idea.

Post # 14
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re currently struggling with this one now – so I hope this goes well for you!

Post # 15
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m catholic, he’s not. We’re going the non-communion nuptual ceremony instead of Mass. Outside of my family, not many of our guests will be catholic and we thought it’d be awkward for 1/2 the church to get up and the other half not to so we’re skipping it altogether. We’d talked about it a little bit and were undecided, then our priest just mentioned it at something to consider when we first met with him and we were just kinda like “yea. definitely. why was this so hard before?”  I can’t even think about what reservations I had about not having communion anymore, it just suddenly became very clear.

It’s a win-win for us. We get a Catholic ceremony and hopefully no one feels awkward about getting up/not getting up for communion. If it’s good enough for the Church it’s good enough for me.

Post # 16
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’re having a civil ceremony in the morning followed by a Catholic ceremony and we’re not having communion.  It would have been too long and with small kids present and only half of the guests Catholic, we decided to forgo communion.  My parents who are very Catholic are ok with us leaving it out and are just happy to have us married in the Church!  Good luck with your decision.

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