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yeah, it's true. i've never done one but friends of mine have. i'm under the impression it's not really a big deal -- it's more a way of figuring out what issues you might need to have some counseling around before the big day...
Really??!! Maaaan. Those kinds of things freak me out. I'm not good under pressure!
YUP, you sure do.
They will seperate you and ask you all the questions on the form and see if you answers match up I guess.
I know what the questions on the Archdiocese of Chicago's form are. They are probably pretty close to any Archdiocese. If you want to know the "tricky" ones, let me know.
We're Lutheran and our pastor had us take a 160-question "test" online, part of the Prepare/Enrich program. We scoffed at it but answered honestly and really enjoyed it. Our Pastor reviewed the results and through three different evening we discussed what was reported as strengths, weaknesses, etc. It was in no way meant to be an indicator of the success of our marriage; more an opp'y to learn more about eachother.
Everyone thinks they know absolutely everything about their fiance/e; themselves and their relationship. Guess what? Ya don't! We thought the "test" was fun and very helpful at further solidifying our relationship.
The Catholic compatibility test was no big deal at all. Bascially they are just screening you to see if there are any major issues in your relationship (some of the questions ask whether or not you are afraid of your partner, etc), and also sort of checks to see if you have discussed big issues with each other (having children, financial issues, raising children, job stability, etc). I think you'll find it to be easy and fairly informative. It also asks you questions about your feelings about your religion...kind of neat to compare with what your fiance said. I agree with Christigpa...it helps to further solidify you and may highlight some areas you need to talk more about.
We just took ours recently. We are still waiting for the results.
We had discussed a lot of the questions asked, so the test itself wasn't a big deal to us. But we're still a bit nervous to see the results and what kind of discussion will come out of it.
Funny you should mentioned SATs 
. We actually felt like we were taking the SATs since the questionaire was one of "those fill in the buble with number 2 pencil" kinda test.
hahaha, miss kiwi, not to worry! the FOCCUS questionnaire is really more of just a personality test. you know, like the ones that you would take in magazines as a teenager girl. they do separate you and your fiance, so as not to get a biased answer from either one of you. it's a scantron quiz and it just asks you simple questions that display your values, personality, habits. after they assess both quizzes, out pops a neat little summary about what things you have in common and it just helps point out huge differences that you may or may not have discussed. some things are important, some are not and i'm sure you and your fiance have pretty much discussed everything. so no worries!
by the way, speaking of forms, someone from your family should also have signed some sort of form indicating that you have not been married before. you'll need 2 people from both yours and his family to do this for each of you.
aoe, are you talking about the "freedom to marry" forms? We have the forms, but I didn't know if they were needed at this meeting, or the rehearsal!!
all our forms have to be in "ASAP".... we're actually sending them today.
besides all that eventually you'll need copies of baptism certificates & confirmation certificate (if you guys did this).
and the problem about the "freedom to marry" form is that even if your parents arent catholic they still need to be notarized by a catholic church in their area....not their own church.... this was a major pain for my them.
piperbenjamin, really? didn't know the notarization part. but i guess i've only been involved in cases where the parents went to the same church as the bride or groom.
mrs. kiwi, if you have the forms, i would just get them signed and submitted as soon as you can. one less thing to think about, right? same goes for all of the baptism certs and other forms. but most definitely, the church will want all of these forms settled prior to the wedding rehearsal. let us know how it all went!
aoedorothee- my parents arent catholic/ dont live near us, but we figured their own methodist church could sign off on the form for them.
we ran that idea by our priest & he said it has to be signed off by a catholic church....any catholic church... even tho the church wont know them or if they are potentially lying about our "freedom to marry".
forms= ugg.
Wait, so your parents have to sign the forms in the presence of a Catholic official? I'm so confuuuused!
Miss Kiwi, our "freedom to marry" forms had to be signed by our parents and notarized, but not necessarily by a clergyman.
You will need copies of your baptismal certificate, but if you call the church where you were baptised, they will send it to your priest -- you shouldn't have to take care of that.
Re: FOCCUS...it wasn't so bad! Mr. Magnolia and I took it while sitting at the same table, but we didn't share answers until we were finished and it was scored. It's not meant to be a test or determine compatibility -- it's meant to encourage discussion between you and your fiance around issues that may not come up otherwise. I've found the entire process to be really fascinating, and I wish our priest would go into more detail on some topics! However, we're participating in a Sponsor Couple Pre-Cana program that encourages a TON of discussion, which is much appreciated. In fact, I'll have to blog about that soon!
My fiance and I were nervous about the FOCCUS test and Pre-Cana, just because we didn't know what to expect. But just as others have said, the FOCCUS questionnaire is not a "right or wrong" kind of thing. #2 pencils aside, it's main goal is to raise topics of discussion that you should probably at least touch on, if you have not already, as a couple. We went over some of our answers with our priest, who just encouraged a discussion, and did not judge our answers. We just completed our Pre-Cana weekend also, and we enjoyed the whole experience. It's really about your relationship as a couple, and not so "religion-heavy" (at least not in our church). No need for sweaty palms and knots in the tummy. You might enjoy it! :)
RE: freedom to marry forms.... i would just ask the priest at your church about their policies, because as you can see, some churches/ diocese might have different policies about the forms! good luck!
Anybody been thru this in the Diocese of Arlington, Va. I have to do mine there and I'm worried as they have a conservative repution. Archodiocese of Washington seems less conservative.
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So Mr. Kiwi told me that we need to make an appointment to meet with the father again. Father said it was to fill out more forms and finalize everything. I'm cool with meeting him, but someone put the fear of Catholic church forms into my heart.
Is it true you have to fill out compatibilty forms?? YIKES.