Weddingbee boards

Hello everyone!  I have a ceremony dilemma.  Neither my fiance nor I are especially religious, although our respective churches are important to us for family, community, and sentimental reasons.  I was raised Methodist, and he was raised Catholic.  I have no problem with a Catholic ceremony but about 80% of my family would be unable to attend a Catholic ceremony due to conflicting beliefs.  I feel it would be unfair to ask them to choose between their religion (however I may disagree with it) and attending my wedding, and would like to have things at the Methodist church as a neutral site.  However, my fiance feels that he doesn't want to encourage "bad behavior" (he feels they're being too narrow-minded) and wants to go ahead with a Catholic ceremony. 

Also, it seems we're having a disagreement on the formality of the event.  We can't hold the ceremony in the main Methodist church due to size limitations, but there is a beautiful covered outdoor pavilion that is a consecrated church where they hold services in the spring and fall that would hold everyone.  His objection to this site is that there's no organ, which he wants (he is an organist and has played literally hundreds of weddings).  Also it turns out he wants at least one vocalist (which I hadn't even considered).  I feel that once you throw in a Catholic ceremony with an organ and a vocalist and 250+ guests you've long since passed up relaxed and informal which is the feeling we'd originally agreed on. 

Here are the solutions I see:

Hold it in the pavilion and keep the informal outdoorsy feel that I like (plus allow my family the chance to attend)

Hold it in the Catholic church with all the bells and whistles and change the feel of our wedding and lose 40% of our guest list (most of my family)

Have a civil ceremony everyone could attend

What do y'all think???

Well, they're not Methodist, and won't show up at a Catholic church wedding, but will attend at a protestant church.  And it's not even so much that I want them there, as it is that it would hurt my parents to have a big wedding (criteria mandated by the groom, he has a 200-250 person list) and not have their family there. Yes they're weird, and no, I don't have any idea exactly what part of their belief system is that requires them to stay out of Catholic churches :-p   

Plus the Methodist pavilion is extremely sentimental, as my late grandfather built it and my parents were married there.  That location would have been my first choice regardless of the religion issue, but alas, my opinions don't count for much at the moment.

And no, he insists on a pipe organ.  None of that electronic stuff, apparently.  And I could care less about the music, except that the only churches around here with pipe organs are Catholic, which translates to a barren bride's side of the church.

And on the formality, that can be changed, but since I'm paying for it myself (he's paying for rehearsal dinner and honeymoon) and we have such a huge guest list (~300, yes, it's already 2:1 on his family to mine) I'd wanted to keep things pretty relaxed and informal, which in my brain translates to less expensive :-p

So I face the unenviable decision of either sad parents and a barren bride's side or catering to some pretty narrow-minded (but otherwise caring) folks who would actually like to attend my wedding, but would feel forced not to (again, I have no idea why). 

Right now I just feel I'm danged if I do, and darned if I don't. 

Camellia I know how you feel--Catholic families are VERY picky when it comes to going to other types of ceremonies.  I was raised Catholic but would consider myself protestant right now, and my fiance was raised in a protestant household.  My grandparents are very old fashioned and stubborn are going to be VERY upset once they find out that we aren't getting married in the Catholic church, and it's going to create a lot of drama!  What a tough situation you're in--try your hardest to have it in the pavilion because in the end, you will be extremely upset if your family can't attend the Catholic service.