- 3 years ago
Normal bee going anon for this post.
I am having serious issues with my bridesmaids. I have 8, two are very close friends and the rest are family. The ones I am related to have been great, they’re younger but have been supportive for the most part, except for my sister who has been bratty but nothing out of the ordinary and overall nothing to complain about really.
The two friends have made catty comments about my wedding from day one. One is more supportive than the other, but the other one either ignores the fact that I’m planning a wedding completely (and changes the subject immediately when it comes up, or just ignores fb messages on the facebook group page about dresses and fittings completely, she did get fitted for her dress (although much later than the other girls did)). She is also engaged but hasn’t set a date yet, she’s been engaged for almost two years so maybe she’s just acting out since she doesn’t have a date for her own yet? The other that is more supportive (single) always has something catty or hurtful to say in addition to helpful comments or advice.
I would like to note that I don’t ever bring up the wedding or wedding planning (because I learned right after getting engaged that even mentioning anything about it at all will be met with catty remarks), if it comes up at all it is becuase they brought it up or the one who ignores everything about it is late doing something so I have to call her and remind her (like when she needed to get fitted for her dress). My wedding is a destination wedding at a lodge (might give away who I am but oh well), and I’m paying for their flights (and their dates’ flights), rental cars, all wedding things (dresses and what not), rooms at the lodge, everything. I should also say that I’ve only made 3 posts ever on the facebook page, so I’m not constantly annoying them there, and the first one was telling them the page existed and the other two were about getting fitted for their dresses.
I feel hurt because I can’t talk about anything wedding related with my closest friends because they are acting this way and I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells, especially now that the wedding is a few months away and I’m starting to have to do more and more to get ready for it. I might be having a bridezilla day but I broke down crying this morning about it when one sent me a message asking what shoes they should wear with their bridesmaid dress, I said (nicely) anything they’re comfortable in, and then said very sarcastically “well they don’t want to ruin my “perfect day” (things I’ve NEVER said) so they figured they would ask”, then ended the conversation.
Of course in a perfect world they’d be happy to gush with me about wedding things and talk endlessly about linen colors and what not, but that’s not what I was ever expecting from them. I just want them to not go out of their way to be mean since it is really ruining the experience and making me constantly worry about whether or not I’m hurting their feelings somehow. I already don’t bring wedding things up, so I wish they can meet me halfway and stop being so mean about it. I love these women and would never want to risk ruining the friendship I have with them since this is the only time I can ever remember them acting this way, but I can’t understand why they have to do this.
My mom said to just ignore them since bringing it up will make me look like a needy bridezilla, which will just encourage them. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this off my chest and see if anyone had advice that wouldn’t ruin the friendship or make things worse.