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Have you caught FI/SO/HUBBY self pleasuring? If so how did you handle it?
I just had this conversation from a friend, who told her BF that it is not allowed if she is home, weather she is sleeping or not. Same goes for her, if he is home, its a no go for self pleasure.
I know my H has when I am home, well cause I have been coming up the stairs and he has said, hold on a sec I am busy or I'll be done in a sec
FI's a grown up, he can do whatever he wants with his body (within reason). I have "caught" him before but it's no big deal. The only time he ever really does it is at night, if I'm not in the mood and I think he normally assumes I'm sleeping when he goes at it.
@UpstateCait: "FI's a grown up, he can do whatever he wants with his body (within reason)"
This.
@UpstateCait: yeah I am not threatened by it either. I found it strange that she made that rule but she said the reason she did is so that if he was in the mood and she was home then they could enjoy eachoter rather than just self pleasure. kinda makes sense to me. I know hubby does it to fall asleep if i am not in the mood and usually i think he is under the impression i am sleeping and doesn't think I know
@wbrn: Personally, I think it's pretty effed up & controlling to try and tell your partner when they can and can't jack it. I would assume if they were both home together he would try and initiate something with her first anyway. So... if she's not in the mood then what, he's got to tell it to go down? That's just weird to me.
@UpstateCait: agreed. I wouldn't 'handle it'! I don't mind that he masturbates. He's a grown man....not my 16 year old son!
There's nothing wrong with it. I see it as a completely different thing from sex. Sex is about the needs of two people and intimacy, there is a lot more that can "go wrong" and so it requires higher concentration. Self pleasure can just be a release, a relaxing thing just between you and yourself, it needs no real thought process.
It only becomes a problem when it increases and sex drive decreases.
When he does it when I'm not there, I feel left out. BUT. I do it when he's not here as well. :) It's just more fun when we do it together (and yes, I mean masturbate together, which normally ends in sex). He was doing that LONG before I met him, lol.
I said Yes and it doesn't bother me, but I've never caught him in the act, we just have open communication about it.
I can't imagine scolding my DH for this. It's his body for goodness sake. I don't "own" him and his body. Actually I enjoy watching him pleasure himself sometimes ;-) He'd rather me do it so he doesn't do it without me but I'll do it without him sometimes (usually during period time).
I'd rather my husband not do that if i was home... i wouldn't care but if i knew then i'd be like "umm hello? we could have had sex or i could have just done something for you".
i'm not saying i'd tell him not to do it... and i never would because i know he wouldn't if i was home... he'd come looking for me instead
Well, I voted no because I haven't caught him at it (though he does play a lot of pocket pool on the couch watching t.v:) but I was very surprised when he let drop recently that he still pleasures himself fairly often. We have sex every single day so I thought he would have lost a little interest in his own hand. Lol but he told me that he just liked it, so he does it. As long as he has plenty for me, I guess I don't mind:)
I've never "caught him," but it wouldn't bother me. Making rules about it is just... creepy to me.
It doesn't bother me when he does. Often times it is when I am sleeping and I can't help him out. ;)
I caught him once in the shower. I could care less - its his body and sometimes a little selfy selfy is necessary! I cant believe there are people out there that would scold their FI/SO/DH for doing it - it is 100% natural!! What is this - Catholic school?
I am pretty sure DH does it in the shower from time to time, I can't imagine "scolding him" for it, he can masturbate if he wants, as long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life. Sometimes I take care of my own business as well, and I would not appreciate him telling me not to do it.
I have seen him do it. I don't like to say 'caught' because it kind of implies that he was doing something bad. And no, it doesn't bother me. In fact, I kinda find it to be a turn on.... >.<
He doesn't do it unless we are doing it together in forplay. So i have never "caught" him doing it!
Seriously as long as he doesnt leave me the mess to clean up I dont care when, where and how he does it. Sometimes I would rather him just do it himself and leave me alone so I can either sleep or "watch TV" and by "watch TV" I mean play on weddingbee.
Doesn't bother me. I'm sure he does it but I've never seen him and don't really care either way. Sometimes I like a quickie myself.
@elliestan: I totally agree!
I really don't see the issue. How are you supposed to know what you like if you don't "have a play" yourself?
He does it in front of me sometimes :P but I have never "caught" him gooey handed lol
I find it extremely hot when he does it in front of me while we are playing. ;) but I've never caught him. I do know he's done it in the shower though. Just instinct. He's caught me though... :O
I think everyone has the right to pleasure him- or herself. I'm sure everyone here will agree that there IS a difference between having solo-fun and having fun together. Maybe sometimes you just want to have fun by yourself. So why make a big fuss about it?
I've never caught SO doing it, but if I did, I would just join in ;-) It's no big deal.
.... i think its just me... but i dont "have fun" or "solo" time with myself.... am i not normal? LOL It's not that i think its gross or anything but yeah ....
LOL I dont turn myself on LMAO!
@Baby_PebbleS: Not normal, not normal! Haha, I'm totally kidding. I'm sure that there are a lot of women (or people) who don't have 'alone time' but by the same token there are a lot who do. I would guess and say it's 50/50. It's just not some people's thing.
I have but my SO normally doesn't do it except for when his in the mood and I"m not. This may be TMI but I know because he normally uses me to do it when he thinks I"m sleep. I"m a light sleeper so I know when he touches me. I don't have a problem with it I just let him do it and go back to sleep. I think it's hot. I'm normally too sleeply to bother rolling over and doing the deed.
I'm a little concerned about the women who scolded their husbands/SOs over this. That's a fast way to set up a really unhealthy dynamic.
I've never caught him, but I actually REQUEST he does it. I am allergic to his semen and if he "saves it up" it's incredibly painful.
@SBourgeous: Just curious.. if you're allergic to it, will you be planning on having kids?
@Vegan: I love this.
I could care less what he does, however he lies in bed and does it and doesn't put the pillows back right, so I always know when he does, which is a little strange. Plus dude, help a girl out and remake the bed.
I walked in on him once when I made a surprise visit, but I didn't get upset: I used it as a way to get him into bed! ;)
My guy cant even TALK about masturbating. It's very strange to me. I refer to it and he almost tries to play it off like he doesn't do it. Totally embarrasses him. It wouldn't bother me though if I did walk in on him.
You know, this put together with my other post about sharing sexual history is starting to make me think that my relationship sounds weird...
Anyway, it's not weird, we're pretty normal.
I actually really like it when my man does this. It really turns me on and honestly, if he does it as a little foreplay I'll be all over that man!
He is honest about it, we dont care. I do sometimes and he knows it. You know the quickest way to to get your FH home?? tell him your bored and there is nothing on. lol
But really, I see no shame in it.
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