CBCers – what made you want to be childfree?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4395 posts
Honey bee

I find the act of child-rearing tedious and uninteresting. DH and I would have less time for each other, and right now, our relationship is seriously perfect. I don’t want to wait 20 years for the children to be grown to start enjoying my marriage again. 

Post # 5
Member
4395 posts
Honey bee

@kayberry:  Right, it sounds like some kind of self imposed punishment to me. And who knows if we’ll all be around that long or have the physical capability to enjoy it! Plus, when I want to be around kids, I have family and friends with little ones of all ages. 

Post # 6
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’re on the fence as well but leaning towards no kids. Neither of us want to leave our career and we barely have enough time to get everything done now and will have a lot less time if we have a kid. People tell us that once we are older (we are 23 & 24) we will want them but I’m not sure if our feelings will change as we get older. I guess if one of us decides to give up our career we’ll consider kids more seriously but at this point our kids would spend more time in daycare than with us so I don’t see a reason to have them.

 

Post # 9
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband and I will not be having children together. I’ve never wanted to dedicate 18+ years of my life to a child. I have no desire to pass along my genes to a child or see what “our” baby would look like. I’m terrrified of being pregnant and have a phobia of needles. 

I love my dogs and my 2 stepdaughters (both young adults now) and most of all my husband. And I firmly believe that a family of 2 is as much a “family” as a family of 3, 4, etc. 

Plus, I’ll be a grandma in the next 5-7 years so I’ll get my baby-fix that way. 

Post # 11
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve never wanted kids, never had baby fever, etc., so it’s just something that really didn’t interest me.  I personally feel I’m too selfish for a kid; I like to spend money on me and my husband, sleep in, have nice things, freedom to do what we want, etc.  I think it takes a special kind of person to be a parent, and I’m not trying to be one of them lol.

 

Post # 13
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kayberry:  I like my ‘me’ time, I like relaxing after work, not coming home to more work.

That’s a great point, and I see it the exact same way. 

FH and I are both equally on the fence about children, and TBH the cons are much more convincing than the pros. 

Post # 14
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@kayberry:  The big reason H and I don’t want kids is because we both have mental illnesses, his being more severe (autism) and I don’t want to be naive about how hard raising a child with autism can be. Our families have histories of autism, schizophrenia, and depression. My mom had post-partum depression after she had me.

Our moms were terrible in the emotions department, so that kind of scarred us. Like if we did have a kid, we would never leave them alone with either of our moms. For me, I’m really afraid that I will just continue the cycle, though I have done a lot of work to better myself.

We also both just love each other very much to the point where the idea of having to split time with someone else, even a kid, doesn’t sound all that great. But maybe we’ll change our minds in the future.

Post # 15
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

I felt the same, I loved my life and relationship. I am now the new mum of a 5 day old baby and am seriously loving every minute, as is my husband. 

Post # 16
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@kayberry:  I have always lacked a maternal instinct. I have never liked children, nor have I ever truly wanted them; the only time I tought I did was when I didn’t really realise it was a choice, bizarre as that sounds.

I’ve been off the fence for about 18 months now, and there’s no going back. I have realised that having children is a choice, it isn’t just ‘something people do’, and that it isn’t a choice I ever want to make. The thought of having children makes me feel sick and panicky: that’s all the confirmation I need that I’m making the right choice. I just do not see the appeal, at all.

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