Cell phone plans… Am I over reacting?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you and your FI/Husband share a cell phone plan?
    Yes : (41 votes)
    51 %
    No : (40 votes)
    49 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1823 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    What are his reasons for not getting family plan? Do you guys have different providers? Is either of you on any kind of special plan that wouldn’t be available if you combined? I have a grandfathered unlimited data plan with Verizon and I wouldn’t give that up for anything in the world lol. So maybe something like that is a factor?

    I don’t think that not having a joint plan is a big deal, but I agree it’s a little odd that he is so against it. If he doesn’t have some specific reason, then I don’t see what you lose by having a family plan. You can still get the same amount of minutes, texts, and data, you just pay less.

    Post # 4
    Member
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    DH and I don’t share a plan. We both use carriers that the other despises. He is with AT&T and I am with T-mobile. I have been a TMo customer since I was 17 years old and the plan that I am on is not only cheap, but not even offered anymore and I would hate to lose it. Plus I love my Galaxy!

    DH loves his iphone and is a huge at&t fan so he is never going to change carriers either. It really does not bother me one bit.

    Post # 5
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think his reaction is rather odd. Why would he bring up you monitoring who he talks to? Is he perhaps talking to someone who he shouldn’t be? The fact that, that was his first response and he shifted reasons a few times would make me very uneasy.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3355 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I moved to DH’s plan because mom was paying for my old one.  It also made sense for me to take over the plan account because I get a 20% discount through my employer. It would be odd to me if he didn’t want to get a family plan for reasons other than those the pps have mentioned. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    4867 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    That seems like a really weird reacyion on his part. I’d push him to try to tell you why, not angrily or accusingly, but I’d definitely be curious. It sounds like he may just be freaked about not wanting to become one of those guys who gets married and kind of loses any personal life. It doesn’t sound like you’ve done anything to make him feel that way, but it’s the only thing besides cheating that I can think of that would cause him to react in such a way. Did he have a buddy or something whose wife got all controlling once they were married and never wanted him talking to or hanging out with friends or something? Maybe wait a few months so he can see that marriage doesn’t really change that much or make you more controlling of his time/who he talks to/whatever, then bring it up again?

     

     

     

    I voted no in the poll, but that’s only because DH has a phone his parents pay for through their group plan because he works for the family business.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    3889 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think for a lot of people (not just men) it feels like an invasion of privacy, knowing someone can go through their phone logs anytime they want. Not that they have anything to Hide. It’s just somehow too private to share. For some, it’s email passworand that feel “too private”, and plenty of couples maintain personal bank accounts, either entirely or in conjunction with a joint account.  If you’re not worried about him messing around, then i’d let it go. Pick your battles and all. Everyone needs to feel like they’ve got something personal and private, even if it’s just a phone bill. I know i’d probably feel the same way if DH ever asked for my credit card logins. I, not spending crazy money or buying stuff he doesn’t know about, but still, it’s my stuff and not his!

    Post # 10
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    I find it really weird that he would react like that, unless, maybe, he thought he would have to switch providers or phones or something.

    He’ll marry you, legally merging your lives and assets, but signing a cell phone contract with you is too much commitment?  Bizarre.  It’s not like you asked him to have a joint Facebook account with you or something.

    Post # 12
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee

    Price it out (at least come up with a reasonable estimate). Present him with the savings. 10 bucks a month is 120 bucks a year. Start the conversation from there. Heck, maybe he just hates talking to phone companies and was trying to come up with any and all reasons to not have to do it.

    Honestly, thinking about sharing a plan makes me feel uncomfortable too (we don’t because we both have great plans with different carriers that we can’t add other people on to so this was never really an option). Not that I have anything to hide, it just feels like “overshare” – even though if he saw a statement on the table and flipped through it i wouldn’t care at all. I also believe in maintaining both joint and separate accounts though, so i might just be an odd one.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1823 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @sj8082:  Thanks for explaining. His reaction is definitely odd. But I do know that a lot of men know the stereotype of the marriage with a controlling wife and a weak husband who always has to ask for permission to do anything. Sometimes they can get irrationally paranoid of having a marriage like that, so they cling to independence about things that really don’t matter. To clarify, he may not think that *you* are a controlling wife, but it’s more of a fear about marriage in general. Especially if you guys have just gotten married and are combining other things as well, he may feel like he is losing his independence or he doesn’t have anything that’s just his. 

    Since a joint cell phone plan really isn’t very important, I think the best way to deal is to leave it alone for awhile. Maybe in a few months when he’s had more time to adjust to marriage, he will be able to think about this rationally.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @sj8082:  I too find his reaction really strange. If you save money, why NOT do it? (Plus the conveniece of one less bill to pay). How is being on the same account “couply”?

    I’d like to think there’s another reason, but I can only understand his reaction if he has something to hide (or wants to be able to hide something in future). (Because by sharing plans you can usually see who he calls/texts, though not the contents of the texts).

    BTW I voted no, but we’d share plans if it saved us money.

    Post # 15
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee

    We both have the same carrier, but our parents still pay ours on their family plans. When we get married, we will get a joint plan though. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    We had a shared plan for almost two years before getting engaged. We waited until the iPhone came to Verizon before getting a shared plan because I wanted an iPhone but he didn’t want AT&T after working for one of their call centers. It’s nice because I get 22% off through work.

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