Post # 1
I’ve been reading quite a bit about this and surprisingly have seen a lot of negativity on the subject! I’m kind of torn between what we had planned and doing a simple vow ceremony. Here’s the details:
My husband and I seem to be in a different situation. We are both active duty Marines stationed in Japan. Originally our plan was for him to get out and then just where to where I could be for my last year and then we would have a big shebang. He decided with all of the benefits it would be better for him to reenlist. Unfortunately, re-upping meant that we were going to be separated for a longer period of time than expected, and even if we got married at the original date we still wouldn’t be together until I get out in late 2014! So we did a Japanese courthouse thing. Which honestly wasn’t anything. It involved going to a translator twice for paperwork translation (all our marriage docs are in Japanese) and then simply handing it in at the city hall. We had no vows, no ring exchange, no friends, no family. The most we did was go out drinking to celebrate.
We both want a wedding. Our situation wasn’t ideal, and we still are not living together because of overseas rules. We won’t even get to live together til we costaticky stateside. Our piece of paper in Japanese is all that says married. But now that I’m reading it’s not appropriate to have a big to do after your married I’m wondering we should just do a simple vow ceremony. But at the same time we want our friends to be a part of a wedding party.
Am I just looking too much into it And we should just do what we want? Or is it really not appropriate for us to do A to do with A gown and everything?
Post # 3
I think you have to do what’s best for you. Don’t worry about what others think. If it makes you feel better, we are a military couple and very likely going to have more than one ceremony for that reason.
Post # 4
I think it’s totally fine to have a big ceremony (or vow renewal) as long as you’re open and honest with everyone that you’re already married. Usually it seems like people are critical when already married couples want to have pre-wedding events like showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Post # 5
I think your loved ones will be super excited to celebrate your wedding stateside and thrilled to hear about your Japan adventure to boot!
Post # 6
We eloped and then had a big reception a few weeks later & for us it was completely perfect and magical. Agree with PP that you should do what YOU want and seriously not worry about others opinions, especially on the bee. These posts usually get a lot of negative feedback. I would hate to think opinions of strangers could squash your hopes of having a dream wedding that you surely deserve. Here’s some links to ours :-)) it was so awesome & all our family & friends had a fantastic party
Post # 7
Tell them you’re doing it ‘Japanese style’– get married legally at the courthouse first, having a religious ceremony and/or party later. 😉 You can’t get legally married by a priest even if you want to! It always made more sense to me that way.
Honestly, if they know you and really care about you as family/friends, why wouldn’t they want to come together and celebrate? If someone is really so petty as to exclude themself from a celebration of your union because of the order of events, well… It boggles my mind!