Post # 1
Ok bees, still bouncing ideas around. A few ways I was thinking of having my wedding…Tell me what you think:
-Big ceremony with big reception inviting all family and friends
-Very small intimate wedding with a nice dinner after then run off to a honeymoon
-Big ceremony inviting family and friends with no reception then run off to honeymoon
-Screw all other options, just run off to elope and honeymoon!
I’m so torn as what to do. FI and I love to travel and when we got engaged all we talked about was where to go on our honeymoon. Marriage means a lot to us, but the actual wedding not so much. I wouldn’t mind our parents, sib, and g-parent being there. I don’t think I’m up to having the whole family and have such a big deal of a wedding though. Maybe just a ceremony?
This will probably sound totally selfish but rather than put money into a reception I would so much prefer a vacation. Thoughts please???
Post # 3
Unless EVERYONE that you plan on inviting lives within an hour of where you would have the ceremony, I would not skip out on a reception. I would probably not come if I lived further away and knew that there wasn’t at least an afterparty with light snacks.
Post # 4
Do you have a lot of out of town guests? If not, how about doing a large ceremony with a cake, punch & champagne reception following (in the same location). Then, you would save money without having to cut your guest list.
If you won’t miss anyone by having a small intimate ceremony & a small dinner after, then do that!
Basically, do what makes you happy, as long as you’re not a rude host 😉 I think a large ceremony without a reception would be kind of rude, but other than that, all of your choices sound reasonable!
Post # 5
The only choice that I think would be questionable taste is having a large ceremony and no reception. That doesn’t mean you have to have seated dinner, dancing etc. You could have an afternoon wedding with a tea following, or a morning wedding with brunch to follow.
You reallly should consider that your guests would appreciate at least a beverage and a snack following the ceremony.
Post # 6
It sounds like a very small cermony with a meal afterwards would be nice. You don’t have to have a traditional reception. Just make reservations a nice restaurant, and pay for your loved ones to eat. If you want to keep it very small invite just you siblings, parents, and grand parents.
Post # 7
I don’t like the idea of a ceremony (of any size) and no reception whatsoever. The point of a reception is to thank people from coming out to witness your wedding. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. As PPs have suggested, you can do a mid-afternoon ceremony followed by a brief reception with cake and champagne for everybody. Or you can have a more intimate ceremony with just your immediate families and best friends, and treat everyone to dinner at a restaurant afterwards.
Post # 8
There’s no reason why you can’t do a small ceremony with a light lunch following. I know of a few brides who got married at a church, then hosted a casual lunch in their backyard afterwards. That wouldn’t be terribly expensive, either – a few party subs, some cheese and crackers, and beverages. But I agree w/ PP that you need to provide some sort of snack/drinks after – and be sure to indicate that on the invite, so the out-of-towners know to eat before arriving.
Post # 9
Small wedding and nice dinner FTW!
Post # 10
Thanks everyone. We have a total of 2 out of town guests and everyone else lives very close. I think we are going to go with a small ceremony and restaurant reception. Thanks for the input. The more I talk with FI the more I realize there are a whole lot of people on his side of the family that HE doesn’t want there. I think we’re just going with parents, sibs, and g-parents. That will put us under 20 people. His family is so gossipy and can’t stand to see anyone happier than them. We really shouldn’t let it bother us but FI really doesn’t want to pay for them to eat and enjoy while they talk about us. I get it. Blah…wedding planning….lol
Post # 11
I had a ceremony and reception, but they weren’t big (67 people). Personally, I like the idea of a small ceremony and restaurant reception. It sounds more intimate and lower stress!
Post # 12
Oh! And our rehearsal dinner was 30 people in a private room at a sushi restaurant. It was actually so much fun that it kind of beat out the wedding reception in my book…which I hate to admit, because it cost 1/10th as much!!! Something to keep in mind 🙂
Post # 13
@crayfish: Thanks! I’ll keep that in mind. Our families are such opposites…I can see all the sibs having a blast though. Maybe I should invite a few extra people??
Post # 14
Only you can decide what you truly want to do, but I’d suggest keeping things small based on what you’ve written…. If you’re not sure about going big, even from the start, I almost guarantee that if you do decide to go big, you’ll regret it once you’re caught up in all the decisions, planning, and YES the $$$$. Save it for your vacay. 🙂
Post # 15
You do not have an option for what we are doing. We are having a simple ten minute early evening garden ceremony (around 125 guests) followed by wedding cake, punch, coffee, etc. Then the next day we are having a HUGE casual pig roast (several hundred guests expected). Two days after the pig roast, we will leave for our honeymoon.