Post # 1
This is my first post on here but I just wanted to say hello, I’ve been lurking for a while now.
Let me start off by saying I love my fiance very much he is an amazing person and I feel blessed to have him. We are getting married at the end of June in a tiny ceremony at his familie’s church.
Let me give you a little background. My parents are very old fashioned and conservative based on culture and partly religion. I’m in my late twenties and live at home and will until I get married. My fiance wants to get married in his home state in a small ceremony where only his family will be in attendance. My family of course are invited by they will not attend because of financial and religious purposes. I was fine with this however I did want to have a civil ceremony in my state for my parents to attend.
My fiance refuses to get married in the civil ceremony or have any other type of secular ceremony in my state. He doesn’t feel the need since we are getting married at his church. I’ve tried to explain things to him but he just doesn’t get it. I’m frustrated and everytime we’ve talked about it we hit a snag.
I however feel that it’s a compromise between him and I. A church wedding for his family and us, and a civil ceremony for my family. Am I crazy here or out of line? I feel like I would be disrespecting my family by just not having any type of ceremony here. Not to mention I highly doubt that they will be fine with me leaving the state unmarried. Suggestions? Help?
Post # 3
If he can’t compromise on this important issue, I would be concerned about his ability to compromise in the future.
Post # 4
I think he needs to be a bit more flexible. This wedding is about the two of you, not just what he wants. Is there any way you two could have a ceremony in a netural location, such as a different state or city, that way both families could attend?
If he’s not willing to compromise on this, and won’t be willing to accomodate things for you or your family, that’s a huge red flag for your future. Anytime someone prefaces their post on how much their fiance is nice, wonderful, etc., it makes me believe that not everything is sunshine and roses. Just food for thought I suppose.
Hopefully you two can work something out.
Post # 5
That’s the thing he does compromise on everything and he’s super easy going but for some reason this is a no go. I’m stressed out because we’re talking about our plans with my family sometime next week and I know they will be dissapointed…actually I’m scared of how they will react.
Post # 6
“I feel like I would be disrespecting my family by just not having any type of ceremony here.”
How about just a special family dinner to celebrate with yours afterwards?
I agree, this is kind of a red flag to me. All else may be wonderful, but this is pretty big of a discrepancy.
Post # 7
Are you asking for the civil ceremony to be before the religious ceremony?
Because I am a religious person, and if I were in his shoes, I would also flat out refuse. I would, however, compromise if the civil or symbolic ceremony would be after the religious one. Then it would just be like renewing your vows.