- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I just got engaged a month ago and have started the planning process. We haven’t decided if we’ll attempt for a wedding this October, or just wait until next spring. However, we have decided that the wedding will be small (family only), and the celebration will be big.
The main problem is that my fiance is not wanting a lot of people at the ceremony, as he deals with anxiety. I am OK with this, but means that only a certain number of our family will be able to go. I told him thay I want my immediate, as well as extended families, there as I don’t get to see them as often and it’s important to me. He thinks that since I’m not that close with some of them, it shouldn’t matter. Yes, this is true… but not a majority of my extended family lives within an hour of us – like most of his and he sees them all the time. So, when I do get to see them, it’s special and fun. My immediate and extended family (both parents) totals about 25, whereas both sides of his parents are easily 50+.
My mother is dead set on ensuring that the extended family is invited. This is because when one of my cousins got married last fall, they had a small wedding where only the parents, siblings, and grandparents were invited – although they also had some friends invited too. My mom (and another aunt who flew in for it) were very hurt by this. Yes, it was their (OK, my cousins now wife – but that’s another story) decision to do that, but we all kind of felt jipped since we’re not a big family.
So, here I sit not sure what to do. I probably sound like I don’t care about his feelings/issues, but I do. I really do. Yes, I don’t completely get what he goes through, but at the same time, I’m not one to want to be the center of attention either – but, I can manage a 20 minutes ceremony and not have to worry about it for the rest of my life. Does that sound selfish? Probably, but it’s important to me. I’ve been waiting 33 years for this to happen; I want all of my family there to witness it.