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Ceremony Help Needed

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    aloweha      

    I've been told by my officeint that my ceremony I have put together "doesn't flow".

    I'm not comfortable with a lot of the 'traditional' wedding things (death do us part etc.), am not religious at all and while I am getting married in Hawaii, I am not Hawaiian and neither is my fiance. So when I was sent a 'script' from our Hawaiian officient that had 3 options "religious", "Hawaiian", or "contemporary", I scrapped it and put my own together by finding wording that DID represent our relationship. I thought it was pretty good, I stuck to the same format for a usual ceremony: Greeting, Reading, Giving Away, Vows, Exchange of Rings, Declaration of Marriage. My fiance likes it, my mom LOVES it. I am wondering if this guy is just PO'ed that I am not using his scripts? Well, sorry buddy, the hawaiian waters and mountains, while I know are lovely, mean nothing to me so I don't want them waxed on about for 5 minutes during the ceremony.

    What can I do? I'm really attached to what I put together, it took ages and I made sure every single sentence was relevant to the 2 of us.

    If anyone REALLY feels like helping, I'd love to email a copy of our script to see if it is "unflowy"Smile

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    million    October 24, 2009   Cape Town

    I'm no expert in these things, but don't mind taking a look at it if you want to send it through.

    I think the fact that both you and your FI (and mom to boot) are happy with what you've put together, you need an officiant who is flexible enough to give you the ceremony you want. Can you find someone else?

     
    3.
    Hostess
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Hmm... is he just offering his professional opinion, or is he unwilling to perform the ceremony as you've written it?

    Maybe you could press him to be a little more specific... what parts does he think will be awkward? Looks fine to me!

     
    4.
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    Busy bee
    Stacy Marie    July 24, 2010  

    I would ask him to be more specific, like daydreamwanderer mentioned....but at the end of the day, its your ceremony and I think you should do what you feels right to you.  Good luck!

     
    5.
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    Helper bee
    jessieblum    October 10, 2010   New Jersey

    If you'd like another proffesional officiant's opinion, I'd be more than happy to take a look and offer some suggestions - you can email me at jessie@eclectic-unions.com

    Some officiants may just not feel comfortable with reading straight from a script - I know when my couples give me specific details that they want, I often put it in my own words, to make sure I'm comfortable speaking and being up in front of everyone with the words I am saying.  Maybe you could see what suggestions your officiant would offer on the ceremony to make it "flow" better?

     
    6.
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    Busy bee
    aloweha      

    So it turns out the officeint is fine with what I wrote he just isn't able to memorize it - which is fine, I would never expect him to. He actually said he was "touched" by our ceremony. It's just my coordinator that told me "he said it didn't flow" and put the negative spin on it. I've had it with these coordinators. If anyone wants a recommendation on who NOT to use, I'm happy to share.

    jessieblum, I might email  it to you anyway just to get your professional opinion :) THANKS!

     
    7.
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    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    I wouldn't expect anyone to memorize it either.  Our JP just read it off paper - no biggie.  I was the same way - I wanted something that was totally just us.  Good luck - i know how you feel about coordinators - I could say SO many things about mine.

     
    8.
    1,424 posts
    Bumble bee
    Querida       Sugar Land, TX

    Put it in a very official looking binder or book...  Done...  Prob solved.  :)  So glad.  I'm sure you put tons of work into it!

     
    9.
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    Helper bee
    jessieblum    October 10, 2010   New Jersey

    Oh, yay! I'm glad, it's a beautiful ceremony.

     
    10.
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    660 posts
    Busy bee
    Stacy Marie    July 24, 2010  

    That's great that it worked out!

     

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