(Closed) Ceremony Help!!! Should we have a full mass?!

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s really up to you and what you and your FI want, not your guests. However, I know that at least in my family, many Catholics (especially old-school or traditional ones) prefer to have a communion at the wedding because of the particularly religious nature of the ceremony (as opposed to other religions).

How far away is your venue from the church? Is there a cocktail hour beforehand? Remember that you do want plenty of time to take pictures between. If you do decide to go for the full mass at the earlier time, you should be prepared for some guests to skip the ceremony and just go to the reception. Some will not want to deal with a large gap like that, but EVERY Catholic I know is familiar with at least some gap. If you google “the catholic gap” you’ll see what I mean. I know that with my interfaith wedding I’m disappointed I will not be able to have a full mass (FI is not Catholic), and while of course I’d marry him either way, it is something I regret. 

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@kn8973:  Hey girl, we are having a 1pm full nuptial mass and then just starting our reception early around 3pm.  Would this be an option for you?  If not, I still think the full mass is your best option.  Your families will appreciate the celebration of the Eucharist and you and your FI will too. 

Post # 6
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kn8973:  We are not having a Mass for two reasons: ceremony starts at 1, reception starts at 2. So we are really stretching it time-wise. And I have family that is not Catholic, and I don’t want them to feel excluded when they are not welcomed to come take communion. My mom was really upset about my decision not to have a Mass (actually, she still is), but it was important to me that everyone coming to our wedding feel included and welcomed and not like they were being ostracized.

Post # 7
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

My daughter is having a full mass. This helps with the those wanting to complete their Sunday obligation, and stay late at the reception. Mass is at 2; reception starts at 4;30 and is only 10 minutes away. Judging by my two previous daughter’s weddings this allows for plenty of photography time in church and at alternate nearby sites. The wedding party is not expected at the reception until about 5:30 with dinner beginning at 6pm.

Post # 8
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re just having a ceremony- in part because my FI doesn’t feel super comfortable with a full mass. He was baptized Catholic- but isn’t practicing. Ceremony at 2:30- reception at 4:30 (beginning with a cocktail hour). We’re hoping to do some pictures before the ceremony…and then have a little time in between for some more.

Post # 9
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s really up to you.  We are having a full Catholic mass with communion at 2pm.  Our reception will not start until 6 or 6:30pm. We also have a huge time gap.  I am including a lot of information in our wedding website about “things to do” (i.e. places to visit in nearby downtown area, ect).  Good thing is we can get all of our photo’s in and freshen up a bit before the reception.  At one point, I even considered opening a tab with a prepaid amount at a winery near my reception venue… but I would run the risk of guests being full and really tipsy by 6pm lol. 

Post # 11
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@kn8973:  That’s awesome! So happy you made a decision. Sounds much like ours.  I also opted for the full mass, it just felt right to me (considering both sides are Catholic).  : )

Post # 12
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@mgrace:  

 

If your daughter’s wedding is on a Saturday at 2pm, then this actually does not fulfill the Sunday obligation for your Catholic guests, sorry!

Post # 13
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We’re not doing the full Mass, because the church is connected to a school and the school bells will ring if the ceremony goes past 40 minutes. We’re doing everything we can to keep it short! His family was expecting a full Mass, but were totally understanding. People will be understanding with whatever you choose. If you have a 4 hour gap, it happens. Let people know local things to do on your wedding website. It gives you tons of time to take even more awesome photos with your photographer.

Post # 15
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The norm for a vigil mass for the Sunday obligation is no earlier than 4pm. The obligation is to go Sunday because that’s the day Christ rose from the dead, not just at some point during the weekend.  2pm is too early to count as fulfilling the Sunday obligation.

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