Post # 1
Looking for some suggestions and also what you did/plan to do! Background: My FI is definitely shy and has a little bit of anxiety (probably more than he lets on lol sigh). He has no concerns with us getting married (no committment issues or cold feet), loves all our wedding reception and ceremony plans, but… he has huge anxiety about standing up in front of ~100 friends and family during the ceremony. He says he thinks he’ll actually faint (which I’m praying he doesn’t oh man). We’re also doing a first look which I hope will help him too!
So we need to figure out how he gets to the altar. I told him he could hide in the room at the front side of the church and just sneak in through the side inconspicuously rather than down the whole aisle. But then he’d be hiding there by himself and might just get nervous hiding and waiting alone… Other option is to walk down the aisle with his mom and dad, but the aisle is a little tight for 3 people. He was thinking about escorting his mom since she knows him well and can help reassure him not to faint or whatever lol. BUT where does that leave his dad? Would he walk alone? Should he escort my mom (rather than the best man escorting her?). I didn’t know if that was a weird option to pair my FFIL and my mom… my dad will be walking me down the aisle.
Thanks so much for your advice!
Post # 2
Have all the GM and the groom wait in the room at the front and enter without walking down the Aisle. The BMs don’t need to be escorted. Theyncan walk down themselves.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Yes, I’ve seen many weddings where the groom & groomsmen wait up front together (usually hiding in room near the front of the church beforehand). They all come out and then the bridesmaids come down the aisle themselves. I have never seen a groom come down the aisle himself.
Post # 4
kristen182: Clonipin! Xanax! Bourbon! Are you having a rehearsal the night before? That might help him see that it’s not so bad and eeeeeeveryone gets nervous.
Post # 5
RedHeadKel: Haha at first I thought you were just saying random gibberish words… He doesnt want to have to self-medicate for this which I totally support (it’s probably a bit of pride mixed with other stuff, he’s already on anti-depressants anyways). Yes, rehearsal the night before so we’re hoping that’ll help but he wants to have a “plan” figured out not just a few hours before understandably! But things change so we’ll see 🙂
Glasgowbound: amberback: I feel like this is such a “duh” moment, I don’t know why that option wasn’t even on the top of our heads! Especially because we’re really not adamant on the BMs being escorted. I’ll propose that idea to him, ty 🙂
Post # 6
kristen182: Honestly, My FIL escorted my mom because my dad was with me. My husband walked with his mom. Looked really nice. However, I think in your case with your groom being shy, can he walk in the side? I assume you are having an officiant. I would have them come in together. The officiant is probably the best person to keep your groom feeling calm the day of.
Post # 7
A thought on the escorting his mom. My DH did this for our wedding, and his dad walked behind them. It didn’t look odd at all. 🙂
Post # 8
As a pp has mentioned, he and the groomsmn can enter through the side door, following the officiant. This was always the tradition in years past and will not look odd at all. That way he will be with his buddies and their joking around will help to keep him relaxed.
Post # 9
So my FI likes the idea if all the groomsmen entering from the front/side and I thought I had it all figured out but who escorts my mom?! I’m ok with BMs not being escorted but I want my mom to be.
Post # 10
kristen182: My mum has only one nephew, he’s escorting her down the aisle. He’s not part of the wedding party, but I let her choose. Have you asked your mum?
Post # 11
I also wanted to chime in with some advice from my friend, who was also a groom afraid he might faint. He made a rule that if he fainted, all the groomsmen were going to pretend to faint as well. Seriously. They practiced this. Turns out he didn’t faint and everything went swimmingly, but it was hysterical to think about…Thud….thud.thud.thud.thud.thud….Hehehe….I still chuckle at the thought.
On a more serious note, as someone who has actually fainted many times in my life, if he gets dizzy when he’s nervous try to make sure he gets plenty to eat and lots of water the day before and the day of the wedding. It helps keep your blood moving as it should. However, if he gets nauseaus – go with easy to digest food!
Post # 12
kristen182: You can still have one of the groomsmen come out from the side room to escort your Mom, then have him rejoin the groom and the other men before they enter the church.
Post # 13
kristen182: JenGirl: Don’t laugh. My husband fainted, twice. Oh he paid for it for a while being the butt of jokes and such but it soon became a really funny story. Trust me, Everyone remembers our wedding! I think he’d still be down for the count if the little janitor didn’t bring in the smelling salts.
Post # 14
My FI will be like that too. There is a reason we are only having a 40-person wedding and it will (hopefully) be outside. He will more than likely just go to the Gazebo and not walk anyone down the aisle (sidewalk) like his Grandma, which I told him was fine to do.