Post # 1
I was just hoping for some advice. My fiancé and I have chosen to get married at our former high school’s chapel and will be inviting our huge extended family and friends, as they wish to witness our union. Directly after the ceremony (which is 12.30pm) we will be mingling with guests for champagne and cake For an hour or so. Later that night the immediate family (I.e. grandparents, parents and siblings) will be gathering for a reception dinner at a different location. Is this ok?
Also, I am unsure if people coming to the ceremony/refreshments are supposed to get a formal invite, it’s just we will need rsvps to no how much champagne and cake to have….
Any help would be appreciated.
Post # 2
Hpppc: I think it is fine to have a champagne and cake reception and you should have an invitation for it. I would say “cake and champagne reception following the ceremony” and have an RSVP card.
It could get awkward though, if only some are going to be invited to dinner later. Especially if your extended family has travelled and were looking forward to catching up. Like your aunt and cousins want to hang out with grandma only to learn grandma is invited to dinner and they aren’t. I think your best options are 1) don’t invite extended family at all and have dinner with immediate family 2) invite extended family and all to dinner, or 3) keep a low-key reception but include more time and food for all guests – rather than cake and champagne, have cocktails and hors d’oevres and cake.
I think it is rude to invite guests to a wedding, where they are expected to travel and implied that they gift, and then give them a “second class” treatment. All guests should be hosted equally, or else it could get awkward!
Post # 3
Hpppc: You’re perfectly fine. Just say ‘champage and cake reception to follow’ or something a long those lines and send a separate dinner invite those those invited. I’ve been to weddings like this before.
Post # 4
I think your cake/champagne IS the reception. Then you’re going to dinner with your family that night. Tiered receptions are totally tacky, but I don’t actually think that’s what you’re doing.
I would send invitations to everyone you want to invite, and put a line on the bottom that says “Cake and champagne immediately following the ceremony.” In other words, just do it like normal, ask for RSVPs, etc.
The fact that you’re going to dinner with your family later is neither here nor there. Your ceremony is at a non-meal time, and what you’re doing is totally appropriate. Don’t call the dinner later a “reception.”
Post # 5
Thank everyone for your help! I should add that everyone lives locally, so nobody has to travel more than 20 minutes.