Post # 1
So, because we live in Holland we are kinda screwed when it comes to getting officially married. You have to do it in a building, with four walls and a roof (actual rules!!!), you need to have a officiant, you can not get somebody else to get a license, shit like that.
It just so happends that the building we could get married in is just to damn ugly, I can’t imagine taking all our guests to that place, it’s awfull!
Sooo…..after wachting all the beautifull weddings in movies all of my life I thought, why not get legally married in that ugly building and have a ceremony with a non-offical offciant on our wedding day, but then…it would be like putting on a show, because it’s not real, it can’t be real, because our “officiant” is not a legal officiant…Do you think people will think it’s weird? Even though we exchange rings and say I Do on that day, it a “fake” wedding…I don’t know what to do!
a) get legally married and just have a fun reception after?
b) get legally married and have to fun ceremony?
c) take the guests to the ugly building and just suck it up?
Post # 3
DH and I were married over here in the US but then we hosted a “Wedding Celebration” in Madrid, Spain for the benefit of my family members there. While it was primarily a nice dinner with some toasts, we also hosted a very short ceremony in which my father said a few words in Spanish, we performed a Spanish wedding tradition and we recited our vows again. I think if you plan to do a ceremony like that where the guests know you are already married and you are just performing a few bits for their benefit you aren’t putting on a “show” you are just re-inacting your wedding. No problems there in my book!
Post # 4
@Dutchbee: I say just get married then have your actual wedding later just don’t lie to your family about what’s going on and your fine. I don’t blame you who wants to get married in a ugly building.
Post # 6
think of the ugly building part as just the legal paperwork part.
you can have your parents attend or not, it doesn’t matter too much.
then have the ceremony later and at that time you can have your personalized vows and any special things for you and your fiance.
People who know about Holland’s legal marriage laws may know it’s not official, but I don’t think you need to announce it!
I hope you have a nice wedding!!
Post # 7
Yeah, just do the paperwork, then have the full ceremony and reception. The wedding is not only about the legal paperwork, it is more about making vows to each other in front of your friends and family.
Post # 8
My friends, and MOH’s friends, had a similar issue. They couldn’t get a license to get married in their churches due to England and Wales’ legal restrictions on religious marriages. So they nipped to the registry office in the morning to get the paperwork done with just a few witnesses, and then headed off for a full, religious ceremony and reception later on.
I guess you could do the same, but with a secular ceremony?
Post # 9
@Dutchbee: What do your friends do who live in the area? Does everyone have to get married inside that building? Is it odd to do a symbolic ceremony elsewhere? Actually i thougth in Europe that is common – one legal ceremony, then the wedding/reception on a different day.
Post # 10
We are doing this. FI is Catholic and the marriage will not be recognized in the Catholic church unless it PHYSICALLY happens in a Catholic Church. This is a problem seeing as we wanted an outdoor ceremony at our favorite winery….
We decided to do both. We are doing the Catholic ceremony with traditional vows October 3 with only immediate family present. The next day Oct 4 is our winery wedding + reception with everybody invited. We are writing our own vows and having our good friend officiate (since she won’t need any special certification), so it will be a more personal, less traditional ceremony.
Everyone knows we are doing this and the reason we are doing it, and they seem seem fine with it (except my one aunt who keeps referring to my wedding as ‘the reenactment”… Ugh!).
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - Dunes House - Hilton Head Island, SC
We’re getting married at the courthouse sometime within the next couple months (so I can get on my fiance’s health insurance, because I’m getting kicked off mine at the end of the year), but we plan to have a vow renewal/reception sometime next spring. As long as you don’t pass the second part off as if it were the “real” wedding and put yourselves out now as not being married, I personally don’t see the big deal.
Post # 12
I would just have an awesome reception!