(Closed) Ceremony Question…Guests standing in back? Tacky?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Is it tacky to have guests standing for ceremony if we run out of seating?
    Too tacky to imagine! : (40 votes)
    82 %
    NO Tack-ness! Invite away! : (9 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    8587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Hm. This is a tricky one.

    I’ve been to a few weddings where people stood, but EVERYONE stood, not just select people. And the ceremony was very short [under 15 minutes]. I wouldn’t want my guests standing there longer than 20 minutes. Also, how would you determine who got to sit down? I think some guests might feel left out [mind you, some wouldn’t care either way either]. I don’t think having some sitting and some standing is a good idea.

    Is it possible to rent more chairs? I can’t imagine planning a wedding and not being able to accommodate everyone!

    That being said, I’m guessing you will have quite a few people not being able to make your wedding since they have to get on a plane. That means the time off work, cost of plane tickets & hotels, + food during their stay, possibly car rental. Some guests might not have the means to so.

    Post # 4
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    If my wedding is rained on I’ll have to have the ceremony in a small space so I’ll only be doing a few rows of chairs for those that can’t stand. But I also plan on having a relatively quick ceremony. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3083 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would be pissed if I spent three hours on a plane to attend a wedding and had to stand.  You have to consider that people usually arrive early so they will be standing much longer than just the ceremony.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11760 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    -can you even have that many people in the room – regardless of standing/sitting? You’ll have to check with the venue what the fire code max is.

    -second, yes I think it’s rude to make your guests stand. I’d be pretty annoyed.  I don’t think many people won’t show up for the ceremony, so you need to plan on everyone that RSVPs yes being there.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    3627 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It’s either all or nothing, although an exception could be made for the elderly/ill/pregnant. 50+% is far too high to keep some standing and some sitting. In addition, unless people are used to working in retail or hospitality, they’re probably not used to standing for an extended period of time. The ceremony itself may be short, but people are probably mingling before and going to cocktail hour afterwards, so all in all, that’s a lot of walking and standing for 50+% of your guests.

    As others have pointed out, fire code is another issue. I’m sure the venue will insist you comply with the law, so they may not let you cram that many people in, even if you brought your own chairs or forced them all to stand.

    Despite a 3+-hour flight time, I think to expect 50% or less to attend is a long shot, unless you have having a wedding at a truly inconvenient place and location.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6209 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I would be upset because I wouldn’t be able to see. =(

    Post # 9
    Member
    840 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I agree with PPs, you either need to have everyone standing or no one standing. I went to a wedding where the chapel was way too small for the number of guests that attended, and about 1/3 of the people had to stand. I don’t know if I would use the word “tacky” to describe it, but I definitely thought it was kind of inconsiderate and it was talked/complained about a LOT at the reception by everyone

    ETA: BUT I’ve also been to a wedding where EVERYONE stood (except a few members of the family that were elderly and would have had a hard time standing for an extened period of time), and I thought it was fine. I actually liked it for a casual wedding.

    Post # 10
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    How long of a ceremony? If you are planning something short and sweet I say have people stand in the back. I went to a wedding where it was maybe a 15 minute ceremony. THey only set up like 20-30 chairs for the grandparents and such. The rest of us just stood in the back or gathered around. It was sort of informal and really fun. Plus it helped that they set up a bar on the side and served beer and wine.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1928 posts
    Buzzing bee

    The point of going to a wedding is to see the actual marriage part… in my experience almost everyone shows up to the ceremony. You shoudl def make sure you have enough chairs.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @lifesaver08:  ours is simailar, but different locations. we are liming the ceremony invite list to the closest and then everyone gets invited to the dinner/dance.

    Post # 13
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I was at an outdoor wedding this summer with rows of covered hay bales for seating and many people stood around the outside of the ceremony. It seemed natural and I didn’t think twice about it.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I should add that if it were an indoor ceremony where it FELT like there were too many people crammed in the room, I may have thought differently about it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Looks like I’m having a tacky wedding! We’re not bringing in seating for everyone, partly because of space, but also because people up the back wouldn’t be able to see if we had everyone sitting down.

    At every wedding I’ve been to, there has been seating for about half to three quarters of the guests, and the rest have stood at the back or around the sides. As long as the elderly get a seat, it’s really not an issue. Oh, and as long as your ceremony isn’t a 3 hour marathon – we’re having a 30 minute ceremony, so people should be able to stand that long.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would upset because I wouldn’t be able to see, I’m short. I would really hate to see several dozen people standing about in the back, is there even room for that many in the room?

    In my experience most people will show up to the ceremony especially if they ae coming from out of town.

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