Post # 1
So, FI’s side of the family is large and complicated. His parents have been divorced for about 5-6 years, his dad remarried 3 years ago. So on the front row of FI’s side will be Mom, Dad, Stepmom in that order. But we have a whole array of people from both mom and dad’s side, along with stepmom’s daughter, and i’m getting a headache just thinking about where they should all sit at the ceremony. I don’t want anyone to think they are getting a "bad seat" or are jilted, etc. If all his family comes, here is a list of who will be there.
- Sister + 3 kids
- Stepsister (not close to her at all since she came into the picture just a couple yrs ago) + boyfriend
- Dad’s parents + 2 uncles, 1 aunt, 2 spouses, 3 cousins
- Mom’s sister + her husband and son
So as you can see, with the divorce, there are different sides of the family + new family members that really aren’t very much a part of our lives, or we don’t really like (i.e. stepsister who we see MAYBE once a year at a holiday).
Any suggestions on how to seat everyone, so confused! Here is what i’m thinking, in these orders/rows
ROW 1: Mom – Dad – Stepmom – Grandparents (just one set – from Dad’s side)
ROW 2: Sister + 3 kids – Aunt – Uncle – Cousin (all mom’s side)
ROWS 3 & 4: Dad’s siblings, spouses, kids – stepsister & bf (10 people total)
thoughts? everything look good? no fights will break out? lol
Post # 3
I can completely relate with your situation! Are your parents civil with each other? I would suggest seating the grandparents between Mom and Dad. I know its a bit odd and may not work if your grandparents aren’t on good terms with your mom, but its an option.
I may be splitting mine up this way since the grandparents on both sides get along with each other and each parent, but my parents and their SI don’t get along so well.
Post # 4
I have almost the exact same problem.
Even if I sat one group on the groom’s side…I think I’m literally going to have to hire security.
I think the way you have it arranged seems fair. And if they don’t think so, who cares? You tried, so that’s what matters. I also agree with Bamboo, that maybe if Mom & Dad aren’t very civil you may want to stick Grandparents between them. Grandparents have a way of calming the storm sometimes, and even if they don’t get along with Mom, sometimes it’s easier for the Grandparents to just suck it up for your day.
Post # 5
This totally isn’t going to help, but I can at least commiserate with the seating difficulty. One of our guests was a girl named Desirae who my husband is friends with now, but when they were in high school, they dated and even lived together after graduation. I accept the friendship because I trust him completely, but she just annoys me – her personality bothers me. Even if they had never dated, she is SO not someone I’d be friends with. That said, it was hard figuring out where to seat her at the reception because I couldn’t put her at the table with my MOH because she does NOT like her. My sister, I knew, would be drinking – and when she drinks, she speaks her mind. Couldn’t seat those two together. Ditto for my boss, who I’m friends with. The seating plan would have been easy peasy if not for throwing her in the mix.
Post # 6
I’d put the parents and grandparents in the front row..let them work out who sits by who and everyone else is on their own
Post # 7
I have the situation of step famlies as well.. on my moms side it is 4 step siblings and stepdad and on dads side it is 2 step siblings and step mom…plus my 2 sisters as well as all the extended family….
To solve my seating situations I am just going to reserve the first couple rows and tell them to go nuts… they can pick where they want to sit and not complain a bit about it.
Post # 8
I’m in the same boat; my aunt does not mesh with my other aunt and cousins there’s not enough room in my own family’s table and I cant seat her with friends or she’ll feel demoted..help!
Post # 9
@ilovenycmissie – could you seat your one aunt with friends and then your other aunt with the cousins and some friends too and tell them they are like "table captains" or something? i know it sounds cheesy, but maybe making them sound like they are each in charge of enterntaining the table or something will not make the one aunt mad or have any akwardness.
Post # 10
We specified where moms and dads sat, and then the rest of the family filled in the first rows where they liked. No planning, no mistakes, no issues.
Post # 11
My parents are divorced, but can tolerate eachother. My mom gets along really well with my dad’s family. I just sat them Mom, grandmother, great aunt, dad. Nobody had a problem with it. My dad’s girlfriend sat with his family.
In your case I would put the parents and grandparents in assigned seating in the first row and let everyone else sort it out for themselves.
Post # 12
My mother thought she had the greatest solution to seating the FMIL and her husband and my FFIL. She said, well since there will be more people there that he knows why not sit him with FH’s friends from Texas and the FMIL can sit at my family’s table – I said HELL NO!!!!!!!!! That would make my FFIL feel like he’s not good enough to sit with my family or that my family would prefer to sit with her rather than him…I said no, she doesnt know alot of people b/c she made it that way – she moved away from the state where her son was living and far from his life – I am not going to prefer her b/c she doenst know many other guests – They will be a separate tables – but I refuse to sit one with my family and the other with FH’s friends.
For God sakes, his father raised him w/ his grandmother!!!!!! Ill sit him with his family and her with his friends or business partners.