(Closed) ceremony start time on a Saturday

posted 4 years ago in Jewish
  • poll: What should we do about needing to start the ceremony after sunset?
    Have the wedding on a sunday, people will usually take monday off- its not a big deal. : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Have the wedding on a holiday weekend on a sunday. : (8 votes)
    25 %
    Find a different Rabbi who will marry you in the afternoon on Saturday. : (10 votes)
    31 %
    Keep venue hunting! You can find another place you love without as much restrictions. : (9 votes)
    28 %
    It's fine the way you have it- the wedding won't feel too short. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    669 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Its really going to depend on your guests and what you want. Its hard, but not impossible, to find a Rabbi to do the ceremony before sunset. We managed to find one, but even he has a cut off (he won’t do it before 6pm). If your guests are amenable to doing a Sunday and/or giving up their holiday weekend then go for Sunday….

    Post # 4
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I wouldn’t recommend a Sunday or holiday weekend unless you don’t mind if your guest count is a little lower or people leave early.  I would either try to find a way to do the ceremony earlier or find a different venue that will let he party run later.

    Post # 5
    Member
    238 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Would you consider getting married a little later in the year?  If you got married in October wouldn’t sundown be much earlier?

    Post # 6
    Member
    850 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You could always do an after party elsewhere after 10pm!

    Post # 7
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    we had a similar problem, but our venue albeit far away, lets us stay until midnight and our rabbi agreed to marry us at 7, just before sunset. How important is your rabbi to you? I mean, is there one specific one you feel close to? If not I’d keep shopping so I could keep the gorgeous venue. Also, how religious are your guests? Will they all come for an earlier ceremony or are some shomer shabbos? Lastly, the afterparty is not a bad idea!

    Post # 8
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

    @LilyMarie:  We ran into the same problem with trying to plan a Saturday night wedding.  We are using our Conservative Rabbi who will not perform a wedding on a Saturday night prior to sunset.  Thus, we looked at dates after Daylight Savings Time is over, which is Sunday, November 2, 2014. 

    I would recommend contacting your venue to see if they have Saturday nights available in November or December, or seeing if you can find a Reform Rabbi to perform the ceremony. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7888 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    sundown on my wedding day is just after 7.  with the location we chose, we had to end at midnight.

     

    with travel and pre-ceremony rituals, the ceremony wouldn’t even start until 8pm.

     

    i liked my location more than my rabbi so, FI and I went rabbi shopping and found a reform rabbi who will marry us. 

     

    our ceremony start time is 6:30pm.

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’d suggest talking to your rabbi before you go any further.  Many reform rabbis will perform a ceremony before sundown (ours did).  Perhaps your rabbi will agree to it, particularly given the situation with your venue.  If not, he or she might be able to recommend another rabbi who will.

    Post # 11
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would do a Sunday — it’s a lot easier, cheaper, and I promise you people will stay (and stay late! We had a lot of people left when we ended the reception at 11:30). 

    Post # 12
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’d do a Sunday. Doing a Saturday wedding, even after sunset, puts a lot of rabbis in the awkward position of having to navigate getting to a venue during Shabbat. I’d personally be extremely uncomfortable asking any rabbi, Reform or otherwise, to do that.

    If you give people sufficient notice most people won’t be bothered by taking a long weekend. Just don’t be offended if it doesn’t work for some. Our wedding is on a Tuesday and is destination and we’re just rolling with whoever can come, can come, etc. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1467 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @LilyMarie: Sunday is also a great option! My cousins have all had Sunday weddings because of our religion, and, in general, people came and stayed! Partied till midnight! First off, if many of your guests are Jewish, don’t worry about it, they’re used to Sundays. And you might get a better deal on the venue and other vendors for Sunday. Your date is more likely to be available, so you can really choose which Sunday you want. I wouldn’t go for a holiday weekend, people tend to have vacations planned (although I guess that depends on your guests). Especially if everything is over by 10, Sunday will be fine. And those who truly love you and care will do their very best to be there! You are not asking something ridiculous of them, it’s not like it’s a Wednesday or something.  

    I am having a Sunday wedding, in 2014, many of my guests already know the date, and they plan on being there. I have heard no dissent yet, and the whole family has STDs as well as most of our friends. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1467 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @LilyMarie: Sunday is also a great option! My cousins have all had Sunday weddings because of our religion, and, in general, people came and stayed! Partied till midnight! First off, if many of your guests are Jewish, don’t worry about it, they’re used to Sundays. And you might get a better deal on the venue and other vendors for Sunday. Your date is more likely to be available, so you can really choose which Sunday you want. I wouldn’t go for a holiday weekend, people tend to have vacations planned (although I guess that depends on your guests). Especially if everything is over by 10, Sunday will be fine. And those who truly love you and care will do their very best to be there! You are not asking something ridiculous of them, it’s not like it’s a Wednesday or something.  

    I am having a Sunday wedding, in 2014, many of my guests already know the date, and they plan on being there. I have heard no dissent yet, and the whole family has Save the dates as well as most of our friends. 

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