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Your FMIL is wrong that the rehearsal dinner is the bride's family's responsibility. It is traditionally the groom's family who hosts that. However she is likely making up excuses so they don't have to be involved. In that case, just order pizzas and soda for everyone since rehearsal dinners are supposed to be casual and you shouldn't go into debt with them since it sounds like you will be paying for it yourselves. His parents should be invited as they are traditionally the hosts. The significant others should be invited as well.
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I have some ceremony rehearsal/rehearsal dinner questions.
My fiance and I are getting married in his home town on a Friday night. All of his family still live there and this is why we choose to have the wedding there (as they wouldn't travel). His groomsmen are also all in town. All of my family will be travelling from out of town as well as my three bridesmaids (travel times ranging from 1hour to 5hours). All together In total we have 8 people in the wedding party (including us), the officiant (my fiances Aunt), and my dad who will be walking me down the asile. Are these the only people that should be at the ceremony rehearsal, or should my fiances parents be there? Should the bridal parties significant others be there or just invited to the rehearsal dinner?
We are paying for everything ourselves but I didn't budget in a rehearsal dinner. I have been looking on here and on the net and in regards to the rehearsal dinner everywhere says that it is "traditionally" hosted by the groom's family (our wedding is far from traditional). My fiances mom told us that its the BRIDES family that pays for it. I am just having a difficult time with this. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want a huge expensive rehearsal dinner (I would be happy with pizza!) and I feel bad expecting someone else to pay for it. I just wanted something small, I wanted that for the wedding too but it has gotten a bit crazy with all the added invites from parents
Any advice/opinions?