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We weren't originally planning on providing our guests with champagne for the toast (we're on a tight budget and the venue we're using charges an arm and a leg extra for this - we have to pay by bottle and the only choice is fairly expensive champagne). We were originally thinking of having the guests simply toast with their own beverages/cocktails rather than providing champagne during the toast. The thing is, my mom just spilled the beans that she is getting us toasting flutes that are being flown in from Ireland as a gift for the reception and would like us to have champagne. Is it tacky if we provide champagne for the wedding party (and possibly our parents) during the toast but not all of the guests at the reception?
I don't think so. We're doing the same thing, because not only is champagne expensive, most people I know don't love it. I honestly don't think anyone will notice if the bridal party gets beverages that they don't.
That is what we're doing because the champagne is expensive! Plus most people don't even like it so it just goes to waste...
I think this could be very tacky. I don't know if you are doing a head table or if your bridal party will be amongst the other guests, but I think it looks bad if someone goes around pouring champagne to them but doesn't serve to the rest of the guests.
What about maybe just having the champagne for just you guys? I saw one Bride and Groom that took some AWESOME pictures of them opening and pouring a bottle.
I wouldn't do this. Just because I went to a wedding where they did this and several people mentioned it/took note. I'd rather skip the champagne altogether than potentially deal with an awkward situation. You and your hubs can always sip from your champagne flutes later--in your hotel room-- or on your anniversary.
I could go either way. I mean if you make a big deal about the champagne toast (opening the bottle, pouring it, and serving it while the other guests look on) then I as a guest would be pretty offended about that, but only because I love the bubbly. If you had some glasses poured in the back kitchen and then quietly got them into the hands of the bridal party I might not notice.
One of the venues I originally looked at provided a private champagne toast just for the parents and bridal party right after the ceremony/before entering the reception hall. Maybe you can do the champagne toast with your parents/bridal party before and then during the reception maybe still use your flutes for wine/drink of choice and cheers your guests with their drinks of choice as well?
We did this, and to be honest, I'm not sure anyone even noticed. Like @Trebel_Clef said - most people don't really love champagne. The venue had a chilled bottle behind the head table for us, and right before the toasts, they discreetly poured our champagne.
Although, we did have champage at the (open) bar, so if they wanted it, they could get it there.
I liked @caszos suggestion of having just the two of you having champagne. I think then the guests won't care because it'll be just a bride/groom thing and everyone else, including bridal party, can use their own beverages.
I agree with other posters - if it's JUST the bride and groom then it's fine. If it's the whole bridal party but no one else it's more obvious that you're trying to save money by not buying it for all of the guests (I think that looks kind of cheap).
I think you could even eventually share the rest of the champagne with your wedding party and parents once people are dancing - but to do it for the toasts makes it stand out more.
Please don't do that. It's really inhospitable to have special food or drink for some guests and not others. Remember the "if you bring birthday cupcakes, bring enough for the whole class" thing from elementary school?
If you and your husband are sitting at a table by yourselves and a waiter discreetly brings the two of you a glass of champagne before the toasts get started, you might be able to get away with it without anybody else noticing. But no spectacle of presenting the bottle, opening it, pouring it, etc.
I also find it really annoying when people tell couples on tight budgets "oh but you MUST have X, Y, and Z". If the champagne toast is so important to your mom, she can foot the bill.
We're doing it (champagne for bridal party head table and the two parent tables)!!
I don't think its tacky at all (especailly because our venue provides champagne for the head table so I'm sure they have a TON of weddings where people choose to not pay additional for everyone else to have it too). Our other guests will have unlimited access to wine and beer so they won't be out something to toast with.
Champagne costs too much to have so much go to waste from all the guests being poured a glass and a large percentage having ZERO desire to drink it.
Oh - and if anyone asks or comments - we'll just tell them that it was something the venue provides for those sets of people. Other guests will have no way to know differently!
I was at a wedding where this happened... and people talked about it. It was so 'tacky' that 4 years later I still remember it. I totally understand being on a budget, but I think it's best to skip it. Good Luck
I don't think it's tacky at all. I have been to several weddings where they did that and no one cared. It's what i'm doing for my wedding too.
That's a sticky situation 
I understand that your mom has gone above and beyond to get you the toasting flutes and although it's very sweet, I'm afraid I'm on the side of either having the toast with just you, the parents, and the bridal party before your grand entrance into the reception as FutureMrsZapper suggested or leaving it to enjoy later evening in your honeymoon suite and letting your mother know just how thoughtful it really is.
But I still think it's probably going to be seen as rude to have champagne for just the the bride, groom, and the bridal party. If you have a larger bridal party and they are all sitting together, then people are bound to notice and as a guest, I would probably be offended b/c I love bubbly.
I think if it's just Bride and Groom I wouldn't care but as someone who DOES like champagne (who are these people that don't like champagne?) it would annoy me if other people were getting the goods right in front of me and I wasn't deemed worthy enough.
if it is just bride and groom, that's cool- but any more than that and i'd be miffed.
I don't think it's tacky. As a guest, i would care less if the bridal party was drinking champagne because I would be drinking my awesome captain and diet! And I have also been to many weddings where the champagne glasses that were poured for everyone sat there undrunk. So, I totally see your point of the cost aspect. I haven't made this decision yet as far as what we will do, but I doubt we will be providing it to all of the guests (and it's not really my decision seeing as our parents are picking up the booze tab :P).
I was a guest at a wedding where they did this and we thought it was really in bad taste. I mean seriously, it came across as they were distinguishing who was "worth it" and who wasn't. We still talk about it o this day...4 years later.
Yeah, I wouldn't do it. I don't like champagne but it would bother me if I felt even more separated from the bridal party.
I'm just going to throw something out there as I really don't understand some people's objections.
Many people are saying that only giving the bridal party champagne makes them feel "less special", "separated", "not worthy enough", etc. Well, you know, on that wedding day you ARE in a different position of "specialness" per se than the bridal party. That's kind of the whole point of a bridal party - they are the people most special to, most support of, etc the bride and groom who have been chosen to be in a special place of honor on the B&G's day.
How it is rude or tacky to do something for them but not the other guests makes no sense to me. We don't think it is rude or tacky the the B&G get them gifts but not the other guests.
@Kittyachi: seriously, who are those people? I love champagne! ;)
For the OP: I would just have your venue serve you and FI champagne in your pretty flutes and let everyone toast with their own beverages. I have been to plenty of weddings where this is done, and no one ever seems to notice or care. HOWEVER, I would be one of those who was like "what? I want champagne too!" and would be stalking a waiter because I personally LOVE champagne and it's pretty much all I drink. I just think if you don't want to have it be an option for your guests at your bar, then you should keep it to just you and FI.
And I kind of think "special" ends after the ceremony... after all, you wouldn't serve your bridal party filet mignon while the rest of your guests only got a hamburger.
Miss Root, I totally agree. Plus, it's not like the bride and groom typically give the bridal party gifts at the reception in front of the other guests.
LOL so I'm special enough to invite to the wedding, pay $ to get there, give a gift, but not special enough for champagne? Pfft.
Whatever if people want to just give their bridal party and family champagne cause that's their budget - go for it. It's your wedding and your money. Just know that some people will be annoyed by it.
As a huge Champagne fan, I would be very offended if it was just the bridal party. I think that if you want to use your flutes do a champagne toast only with you two.
@Miss Root: and @MelanieAnne: if their "specialness" ends at the ceremony, why does the bridal party typically sit at a table in front with the bride and groom and why are they announced as they enter the reception? And their gifts are still typically given in front of other guests - just at the rehearsal dinner instead of the reception.
People on WeddingBee seem to be so easily offended / miffed sometimes. Just because you are a guest doesn't mean you "deserve" champagne. The B&G in the OP are offering plenty of other drinks (alcoholic even) unlimited to the guests.
I also wanted to throw out that there are less expensive alternatives to champagne. You might want to look into serving prosecco or a sparkling wine instead.
I wouldn't like it. Use the flutes privately or at a family dinner etc. etc.
But I would be more upset if you didn't provide any alcohol then if white wine etc. was available. And like others I'd be more upset if more people got champagne versus just the bride and groom.
i think the only way that it wont seem tacky is that Champagne is offered as a drink you COULD get at the bar - i.e. since you say you are wanting them to toast with their drinks on hand, if somoen wanted champagne they could get one from the bar.
otherwise, unless you two are the ONLY ones its poured for its gonna be kinda rude.
and i dont even like champagne....
Well, you usually DO give your guests a gift for being there. Usually food, drinks, a verbal thank you, and some sort of favor. Yes you announce the names of the bridal party, but isn't that usually it? I've never seen anyone treat the bridal party differently after the grand entrance in terms of serving them a higher class meal, giving them champagne, or giving them their gifts in front of the other guests.
Is it a regional thing?
I agree with those who said for just the bride and groom to toast or include everybody. I don't think it would go over well for just the bridal party to toast with champagne. I've never been to a wedding in which this happened though...I personally wouldn't like it.
OP here... Considering what a contentious topic this has been on here, I definitely foresee some guests potentially being offended if the wedding party has champagne and not everyone else. This being said, if the bride and groom are the only ones having champagne (which would be poured discretely prior to the guests entering the ballroom - no elaborate uncorking and pouring displayed in front of guests), are there any of you out there that would be offended by this? Is it okay for the bride and groom to have something special that isn't offered to the guests or is that potentially tacky as well?
no you can definitely have something special for the bride and groom and not for the other guests - after all its YALLS DAY! you can come riding in on a rickshaw pulled by hunky men and i wouldnt think anything of it. definitely ok for just yall two - i wouldnt even care if it wasnt discreet if it was just the two of you.
maggie- i would in no way be offended if it were just you two. i think everyone would be on board with that!
Ah, I see this same thread is running in two different places...do moderators ever combine threads here? Seems like a good idea in this case...
I can see both sides, but I don't really mind if the bridal party has it and other guests do not. I've been to pleanty of weddings where this was done very quietly and it wasn't a big deal at all. No delivery of the bottle, nothing big. Champagne was simply set at the head table like anything else.
As for treating the bridal party differently...I've been to several weddings where the bridal party had open bar while it was only free beer and wine for everybody else. I was slightly taken aback at first, but then realized...hey, they are the bridal party, not a big deal. As long as everybody is being offered something I think it shouldn't be a problem
I would not feel comfortable doing this at my wedding, and I would definitely notice and be surprised if this happened where I was a guest at a wedding. It seems like it's best for either everyone or noone to get it. I suppose if it was just the bride & groom, it might seem a little better. But those weddings where the bride & groom eat a different (higher end) meal make me cringe -- you're supposed to give the best to your guests, not take it! So I don't know... I definitely feel you on the money concerns, tho. Weddings are expensive!!
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