Post # 1
My fiance and I are not going to be formally introduced at our wedding, but I want to find a way to make it very clear to those in attendance that I am keeping my maiden name.
Would it be inappropriate to include “Change of Address” information on the reverse side of the place cards, that has both of our names, our new address, and our new joint email address?
I think it would kill two birds with one stone, because it would 1. clarify that I’m not changing my name, 2. give everyone our new information, and 3. wouldn’t necessarily seem “gift grabby” because it’s being done at the reception and not as part of the invitation or as a post-wedding announcement.
I’ve just never seen it done before, so I’m wondering if the bees have any input. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
Not a fan. I kept my maiden name, but was still announced as Mrs “husband’s last name.” I think it could be perceived as rubbing it in his family’s face that you are not taking their name. A change of address can come in the mail or as the return address on your thank you cards.
Post # 4
I’d leave it out. Keep the day about your wedding, not your new home. Also-many people won’t look at it/leave it behind. You will show your non-name change when you sign your thank you cards. You could also get a cute embosser, stamp, or stickers with your names and return address for the envelopes too.
Post # 5
You can do this with the thank you cards, both in how you sign them and (if you really want to draw attention to your name/address/email) with a little card with your information.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t be put off by it but I wouldn’t necessarily understand it’s place at the reception either.
You could send thank you cards to every guest and be sure to print both of your first and last names as part of the return address. I think that would be a sufficent means to communicate you keeping your name.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
Leave the return address for the thank you cards. why does everyone need to know the legal changes to your name?
Post # 8
@marie_antoinette: Is the lack of name change WHY you’re not being announced at the reception? Or do you have another reason?
I only ask because I am also not changing my name and so this “announcement” thing was a bit tough for me to figure out at first.
Post # 9
No…and I also don’t understand why you have to make such a big point that you aren’t changing your name. People will figure it out when you keep using your maiden name.
Post # 10
You can use your thank-you cards to convey that information.
I think having it on the back of the place cards may not work in a number of ways.
I have never in my life turned over a place card to see if there was anything written on the back.
Some guests may think you are being overly assertive about not changing your name.
Some may also misinterpret that the change of address information is aimed at those who had yet to give a gift.
Post # 11
@Eradicatereality: We’re not being formally announced at our reception because we are having a non-traditional reception – more like a big dinner dance without any of the normal “wedding stuff”. We don’t feel comfortable being announced walking into the room and we’re not doing a first dance. But everyone keeps asking me how people are going to know that my name hasn’t changed if our names are not announced, which got me thinking about other ways to share that information.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone, I appreciate everyone’s opinions! I forgot all about thank you cards – that’s an even better way to share the new address/email and name information!
Post # 13
Truthfully, I wouldn’t care if you were keeping your maiden name or not. When I go to a friend’s wedding, what business is it of mine whether or not you are taking your husband’s name or not? I find it very strange that you want people to know you are keeping your maiden name.
I find the joint e-mail a lot stranger, though.
I’d skip all of this and simply just sign your name the way you want on cards. I don’t think it is necessary to make a production out of it.
Post # 14
I guess I feel it’s important to explain that I’m keeping my name, because people do traditionally listen when a couple is announced so that they know how to address the couple in the future. That’s all I’m concerned about. I don’t want to make it a big deal. Just trying to figure out the best way to explain it without being formally announced, and I think the cards are a great solution.
I don’t think it’s strange at all to have a household email address with my name and his name on the account, a lot of people around here do that for their families and it’s not unusual.
Post # 15
@marie_antoinette: I think that thank you card idea is great. You can even get a pretty return address stamp with both of your names and/or have a “new contact information” card in the Thank you note (if you want to include phone numbers or email addresses and not just mailing address).
Also, are you having a ceremony before your non traditional dinner party? They usually announce at the end of the ceremony too as well as the reception entrance…