Change or keep your name?

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s not a necessary part of getting married. I didn’t change my name, and I don’t regret it or feel any less connected to my husband. Not saying you shouldn’t change your name — that’s your choice — but only do it if you WANT to. 

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had a HORRIBLE Hungarian last name. I was always so excited to take DH’s (incredibly easy to spell German/American last name). When it came to doing the paperwork, I got SO sad, though!

I still miss it occasionally. No matter how horrible it was!

Post # 5
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

There are a few other threads on here about adding your FI’s last name, but keeping your last name as well (no hyphen).

 

So you would be

Jane Maria Doe Smith

 

You can fill out forms/ legal documents as Jane Smith, but you can still use your “Doe’ last name personally.

Post # 6
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

im not changing my last name.

 

I’m korean and in korean culture women do not change their last names because of marriage.

 

SO was quite bummed and upset about it at first. But I told him, I would still be referred as Mrs. (his last name) but also as Ms.(my last name). 

 

My last name was given to me by my father, whom i’m connected to forever by flesh and blood. I refuse to give it up. It’s an extremely important part of me and who i am. I dont think I’m going to be less of a wife because i chose not to take his last name. 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@tinkerbish:  That’s an interesting rationale! To offer a different perspective…personally I ultimately chose to take my husband’s name precisely because I chose him, and this conscious and deliberate choice to start a new family as an adult is, to me, a much more important and definitional aspect of myself than the name I was born with. I think that the choices I make are more important to who I am than the circumstances of my birth. Also, I don’t think I’m any less of a daughter because I’m changing my name 😉

Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Changing your name isn’t a part of marriage unless you want it to be. I got married, my name didnt change and I’m still married. It’s a decision Only you can make, do what feels right for you. 

Post # 9
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’d say it’s normal to mourn the old name a bit. It was with you for your whole life.

I wanted to change my last name mostly because I am not in touch with my father anymore, and it is his name. I don’t want his name. If I’m going to have a man’s name I want it to be a man I actually like lol (my husband).

Now that I’m in the middle of the pain in the ass process of changing it, a TEENY part of me is like whoa… my identity is changing. Oddly enough, changing my email address made me realize that lol. Overall I am very happy to change my name, though.

Post # 10
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsSnowMountain:  precisely!!!! you are no less of a daughter and i am no less of a wife because of the decisions we make about name changing after marriage! It is our personal decision/sacrifice we make and what ever that decision may be it is a great decision either way!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s not necessary. I was so hellbent on changing my name that as soon as I got it on the Friday, I made a list of everything I needed to change it and on Monday morning it all took me 3.5 hours to have changed over.

Post # 12
Member
9 posts
Newbee

@CzechBride14:  If you love his last name that’s great, definatly will make the transition easier.  I know what you mean though, I have never liked my last name but now that I am close to never using it again, I really want to keep it.  For me I think I sort of have a fear of losing my own identity.  Everything will change so much after marriage it would be nice to know I’m still myself.  Honestly, I think the real reason people change their names is not becuase it’s just part of marriage, but becuase they want to have the same name as their children; so it becomes the family name.  

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