Changed your mind on a destination wedding? Were people upset?

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 

CurlyWurlies:  I had a destination wedding but that was my plan from the very beggining so my family and friends knew thats what we were planning. I dont see anything wrong in changing your mind but with a destination wedding you have to make sure you give people ample notice and also make sure both sets of parents are on board because without them being on board it would be hard ot make it happen. good luck! Destiantion weddings are the best and I wouldnt have done it any other way!

Post # 3
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

 

CurlyWurlies:  

Ours was a destination wedding, but we planned it that way from the start.

It made the planning process more complex as we had to work with vendors from afar or sight unseen.  Heck, we didn’t get to do any sort of food or cake tasting, see the venue, etc.  The vendors were mostly local to the area in which we were marrying, but our due diligence paid off (read online reviews, called references, checked out BBB records, questioned their contracts, snooped around Google of other people’s weddings who hired these vendors, etc) and they were all fantastic.

Our guests are well-known to DH and me (we paid for it ourselves so we had complete control of everything, including the guest list), so we wanted to make it as enjoyable for them as possible since they were traveling so far and taking time off.  By the end of the big day, they appeared thrilled and were so genuinely complimentary.  I think the only people truly concerned about the “destination” aspect were our parents – they were afraid no one would show up or that our guests would go all that way and not have a good time.  The day after the wedding, our parents said they had worried for nothing.

Like @sweetchiquita12, if we had to do it all over again, we wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 5
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you can change it however you want, with a decent amt of notice. Since it’s changing TO a DW, your biggest challenges would be if it’s too last minute, unreasonable flight and hotel costs. If it’s say… 4 months out, people should still be able to book those things at a decent rate.

Post # 7
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

CurlyWurlies:  lol yes absolutely. Barely anyone even plans a vacation that far ahead of time if it’s not a major trip!

Post # 8
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hello, mine went the other way I was having a destination wedding, I got sick of people complaining about it etc and cancelled it 3 weeks ago and started planning a new one, and people acted shocked?

 

Post # 9
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I changed my idea about 4 months out from the date we were going to get married. We already had some things booked, but luckily it was refundable deposits. People were… let down, but to lessen the blow, we’re throwing a big party/bbq when we get back. They understand that going away is more us.

Post # 10
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I think part of how friends and family will take it depends on your location.  If one of my kids said they wanted a DW in Florida in 9 months I would deal with it.  If we are talking Hawaii, tropical islands, Europe, etc those places are far more expensive and 9 months wouldn’t be enough time to add that into our budget.

Our major vacations are always planned a minimum year out.  Always.  Keep in mind also that people’s employers  have different rules about when you can ask for vacation time.  I know people who have to plan and schedule their leave requests at work in January every year.  I know people who can walk in the bosses office and say they want to take a week off next month.

As a MOB I am finding myself in a vacation time issue.  I retired from the military 2 years ago and always had several weeks of leave time on the books.  On Monday I am starting a new federal job and I will be earning a measely 4 hours per pay period for the first 3 years (my military time won’t count for any kind of seniority for this job).  Because the position I am coming into has been vacant for 2 years there is a ton of back logged work to be done and the boss is allowing me to work comp time on the weekends so I can take 4 days off for my DD’s wedding in June.

With enough lead time, hopefully your VIP’s will be able to make it.  Just keep the location, cost, and lead time in mind as these are what determines if someone can come.

Post # 11
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

hermom:  +1.

OH and I take a long-haul trip each year, as well as 1-2 short short-haul trips. Our long-haul trip is booked anything from 10-14 months out, and I book my leave at work quite far in advance (eg I had to sumbit my form for holidays from March 2014-Mrach 2015 in December 2013). My OH also has to give a lot of notice as there are only 3 people in his department and only 1 can be off at any one time.

Whether we could make a destination wedding 9 months away would depend on if we had already booked our leave at work, if we had already booked our annual trip, and where the DW was and how long we’d need off work. Eg something a 3-4 hour flight away? Probably no biggie; we’d just go for 3 days. Something 10 hours away? We’d probably have to decline.

Post # 12
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

CurlyWurlies:  I’m having a DW, but I’ve been planning on doing that all along, and all of our friends and family have always been aware of that.

However, I will say that if you are nit-picky or kind of a control-freak, having a DW wedding is not for you because more than likely you won’t be able to taste-test, visit in person with vendors, etc.

I will suggest that if you go the DW route, you might consider an all-inclusive resort. Most of them have wedding packages to choose from at a pretty affordable rate. For example, the package I’m going with is $5,000 for the ceremony, the dinner/reception, the cake, etc. I’m not a very organized person or the planning type, so this is awesome for me.

If viewing the property and doing a taste test is important for you, I do know that some resorts will let you come for a weekend at a very reduced rate. The Paradisus resorts (in Dominican Republic and Mexico) have a “Love at First Sight” deal that lets you stay for like half the price as normal and view the property, taste test, look at decorations, etc. I read recently by another Paradisus bride that she was able to view ceremony locations that they don’t include as options on their wedding packages.

Post # 13
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

For me price was the determining factor. I got quotes for two tent companies between 10-24k for the tent, flooring, tables, and chairs. No food. And DJ was extra. It was enough for me to say I can spend 20k for 4 hrs have 300 people at my wedding that I won’t remember and be so exhausted I never ate OR I can take the same 20k have an intimate ceremony, eat, and have a nice vacation for a week.

Post # 14
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 

CurlyWurlies:  We gave our guests a year notice but I think even 9 months is ok

Post # 15
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

CurlyWurlies:  I did! We started planning our big, fancy wedding in March-ish of 2013 and just after Christmas (actually like 2 days after sending Save the Dates because it’s on a holiday weekend – oops!) we realized we’d rather put the money towards buying a house. So, we cancelled everything, lost just under $2000 in deposits, and are going to Vegas with roughly 40 people -VS- 300. Still having a very formal wedding but it will cost nearly $15k less. 

Did people have opinions? Yes, of course. Someone had a smarta** comment that we were pushing our costs onto guests now instead of covering them outselves. In the end everyone understood. We’re in our mid 20’s and a home is a much better investment than one afternoon. The people who really care and want to celebrate with you will make the trip. In fact, we have many more people coming than we originally thought. You have to do what is best for you and if the planning process is going to cause you stress and worry all the way up to the big day it’s not worth it. 

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