Changing an Engagement Ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d be pretty upset if my FI proposed to me with a ring he had bought for someone else, so I don’t blame you for wanting to change it. I would just go to some jewelers and talk to them, and see what options they give you. If they say something you’re not sure about, google it when you get home. 

Post # 4
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have every right to expect/deserve a new ring.

Are you keeping the diamond?

I suggest you look at all styles and keep your options open.  Once you find a ring you love then  figure out the design. 

Post # 5
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What does the ring look like?  If it’s a more common setting (halo or solitaire on a blingy band) there are lots of little things you could change to make it your own- maybe add a surprise diamond somewhere, or add some cool scroll work in the side profile?

Let’s see a pic!

Post # 7
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@honsda28:  it’s a beautiful ring but I would be livid. I feel like he should understand that.

Post # 8
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@honsda28:  Maybe keep the diamond and replace the setting. Idk why he’d propose to you with an ex’s ring though. I would have accepted the proposal but told hiM I didn’t need a ring. 

Post # 9
91 posts
Worker bee

Jeez. I would wanna trade the whole damn thing. I wouldnt want to keep the diamond. Diamonds don’t have good resale though so you’d end up with a smaller diamond. At the very least the setting needs to be changed…

Post # 11
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@honsda28:  and you could have it engraved on the inside with something special to you and your fi

Post # 12
5482 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@honsda28:  you could go with the same basic shape band in a different metal if you like the way this one looks! Just a thought!

Post # 13
293 posts
Helper bee

Change the setting completely so it doesn’t even look relatively the same! You are handling this much better than I would ;). I would have said no and threw it at him. 

Post # 14
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ok. Jewelers. They’re in the business of selling jewelry and if they have been in business for more than 5 years they are probably pretty good at it. Some things to keep in mind is they will pretty much agree with whatever you say in regards to the piece itself (exception for the chain store you don’t want to deal with anyways). You say you want it to have a thinner shank and they’ll tell you that they can pull it off unless its not structurally possible, etc. If you are buying a new diamond (or upgrading/exchanging) spend some time on pricescope before you go in. And if you can’t tell the difference between a J and a G or VS1 and SI2 don’t feel bad about choosing lower specs to get a bigger stone.

In your position I would probably make it clear that you want to sell the old setting either as is or melted down. Whatever gets you more money back. I would also share your story as to why you are changing the ring. The better they understand your motives the better you chances of getting what you want.

And some good general knowledge:

1)      White gold has to be rhodium plated which will cost you over time even though it is cheaper initially.

2)      Platinum is heavier than other precious metals and part of the reason it is more expensive is because the same dimension piece will weigh more.

3)      Palladium is in the same family as Platinum but will have a weight more similar to gold which is why it will generally cost you less than platinum and more than gold. That is of course only if you can find a jeweler to work with it.

4)      Gold will lose material overtime. Platinum and Palladium will deform (look up patina) but will maintain their mass.

5)      It is generally better to avoid gold prongs.

6)      If you have metal allergies ask to speak to the jeweler’s metallurgist and find a safe alloy to wear.


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