Post # 1
Hello, all. I hope I am posting this topic in the correct space. I am a newbie!
Just as a little background, my fiance and I got engaged in January. To make a long story short, he gave me the ring he used to propose to his ex. They didn’t obviously didn’t work out, and a few years later, he proposed to me using the same ring. Since we have known each other for years and were friends when he was previously engaged and he has been very honest about everything, I knew it was the same ring. However, when he purposed, I was so excited, so I accepted the ring…I shouldn’t have accepted under the conditions, but it is what it is.
The ring is everything I ever wanted. It is beautiful…but…I am getting resentful and angry that it was something else’s ring. In fact, I haven’t even thought about our wedding; many of my friends surmise it is because of my thoughts about the ring and the engagement. I finally got the guts to tell him I want the ring changed and he has agreed.
My issue is, I’ve never dealt with a jeweler before. Preferably, I would like the ring to look basically the same, but I do want to make it mine. I know it seems like a waste, but I just want it to my ring, not someone else’s. Anyway, my question is…do any of you have any tips for dealing with jewelers? Is there anything I need to be made aware of or educate myself on before visiting a few? Apparently, fiance did not buy the ring locally but has an appraisal on it (though I have never asked to see it). Kind of a weird question, but looking for a few tips, as I do not really know what I am doing! Thanks for the help. I am hoping once I get a ring that is unique to me, I can get serious about thinking/planning my wedding!
Post # 3
I’d be pretty upset if my FI proposed to me with a ring he had bought for someone else, so I don’t blame you for wanting to change it. I would just go to some jewelers and talk to them, and see what options they give you. If they say something you’re not sure about, google it when you get home.
Post # 4
You have every right to expect/deserve a new ring.
Are you keeping the diamond?
I suggest you look at all styles and keep your options open. Once you find a ring you love then figure out the design.
Post # 5
What does the ring look like? If it’s a more common setting (halo or solitaire on a blingy band) there are lots of little things you could change to make it your own- maybe add a surprise diamond somewhere, or add some cool scroll work in the side profile?
Let’s see a pic!
Post # 6
You all have been so nice and helpful already…I really appreciate that!
Fiance is pretty insistent that he would like the diamond to be saved. I agree…Not the best picture in the world, but here it is. As I’ve said, I LOVE the ring, but can’t really stand the idea of having it be my engagement ring for the rest of my life!
Post # 7
@honsda28: it’s a beautiful ring but I would be livid. I feel like he should understand that.
Post # 8
@honsda28: Maybe keep the diamond and replace the setting. Idk why he’d propose to you with an ex’s ring though. I would have accepted the proposal but told hiM I didn’t need a ring.
Post # 9
Jeez. I would wanna trade the whole damn thing. I wouldnt want to keep the diamond. Diamonds don’t have good resale though so you’d end up with a smaller diamond. At the very least the setting needs to be changed…
Post # 10
@honsda28: it’s gorgeous! it’s a beautiful ring and there are a few ways to make it ‘your own’.
what about making it a six prong solitaire?
or having it set into a pave band?
Post # 11
@honsda28: and you could have it engraved on the inside with something special to you and your fi
Post # 12
@honsda28: you could go with the same basic shape band in a different metal if you like the way this one looks! Just a thought!
Post # 13
Change the setting completely so it doesn’t even look relatively the same! You are handling this much better than I would ;). I would have said no and threw it at him.
Post # 14
Ok. Jewelers. They’re in the business of selling jewelry and if they have been in business for more than 5 years they are probably pretty good at it. Some things to keep in mind is they will pretty much agree with whatever you say in regards to the piece itself (exception for the chain store you don’t want to deal with anyways). You say you want it to have a thinner shank and they’ll tell you that they can pull it off unless its not structurally possible, etc. If you are buying a new diamond (or upgrading/exchanging) spend some time on pricescope before you go in. And if you can’t tell the difference between a J and a G or VS1 and SI2 don’t feel bad about choosing lower specs to get a bigger stone.
In your position I would probably make it clear that you want to sell the old setting either as is or melted down. Whatever gets you more money back. I would also share your story as to why you are changing the ring. The better they understand your motives the better you chances of getting what you want.
And some good general knowledge:
1) White gold has to be rhodium plated which will cost you over time even though it is cheaper initially.
2) Platinum is heavier than other precious metals and part of the reason it is more expensive is because the same dimension piece will weigh more.
3) Palladium is in the same family as Platinum but will have a weight more similar to gold which is why it will generally cost you less than platinum and more than gold. That is of course only if you can find a jeweler to work with it.
4) Gold will lose material overtime. Platinum and Palladium will deform (look up patina) but will maintain their mass.
5) It is generally better to avoid gold prongs.
6) If you have metal allergies ask to speak to the jeweler’s metallurgist and find a safe alloy to wear.
And one more thing. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE FIRST JEWELER YOU MEET GO FIND A DIFFERENT ONE.