Post # 1
I’ve been unhappy with our ceremony venue all along, but my fiance managed to persuade me to go ahead with doing it at his parents church to appease his family. Well, after managing to work through some of the problems and ridiculous rules, now we have a new list of additional regulations that weren’t included in the original guidelines we were sent. It’s absurd. Every aspect of the wedding is dictated, we have zero choices- from the music to the decor. It doesn’t feel like our wedding at all, and I am completely miserable thinking about it. My fiance would be more than happy to change the venue, but we’ve already sent out invitations. Has anyone ever changed venue after mailing the invitations? How can we do this without completely alienating his family?
Post # 3
Eek–that’s a tough one. Do you even know if you can find a back-up location in time? I think that the logistics of switching would be a huge hassle, and that you’d have to call everyone to explain the change. I’m guessing that you’ve already tried to find all the wiggle room you can, and that you just won’t be happy. Which means it might be worth scouting out other sites and seeing what you can do.
As for his family, I’d try to soften the blow–see if they think the restrictions are out of line (and maybe his parents have more wiggle room with the priest?). If that doesn’t work, make FI break the news, and make sure it’s clear that it was BOTH of your choice.
Post # 4
I am having a problem with the reception venue, and all the people comming. I am just thinking of going through this horrible experience, seeing it to the end. (I wasn’t paying for it, becasue I didn’t want to take out a loan, and I couldn’t find a job and Grandma refused to listen to me). My fiance and I are going to do an Anniversary party to our liking, and we have control of the way the reception is going to go. Even if we don’t have control of the amount of guests anymore.
I know this is sort of late on this one, but I am just putting my two cents in. Sorry for the Thread Jack.
For all you bees who want to know: Research and Research, If you arent’ happy with something it will bug you till the End. Put a cap on the invitation list. You can always send out announcements later to those who you did not invite. If you want something small, go with someplace expensive. The person paying for it if you aren’t, is going to want the guest list small too. That way they dont’ have to pay as much. Get a wedding planner. Can’t say that enough. Get two if you need to. Set up the list of what you want people to help you with. It can be the traditional list, of what the Bride and Grooms family pays for. If you cannot afford a big party now, just send a nice letter stating politely how you kept it small in regards to budget, regardless if people think that is tacky, most will understand. Set it in stone, set it on paper. And do it early. That way you don’t have to cancell or regret anything.
As for me, all I care now is to be married, I can care less about the reception, and the plans, and I dear hope to God, I don’t cry if I don’t like it. And I am praying for some cancellations for that time. I am really praying for some people to cancell on me. Right now its just 72 and counting (Not bad right? I”m still worried).
Again sorry for the thread jack, should have posted this in reception instead.