Post # 1
I have seen several bees say something like “I changed so much in my 20s” on various threads, often about deciding when to get married or TTC.
I actually feel like I have not changed all that much. I have of course had experiences that taught me a lot, but this would have been the same in my teens or my 30s, 40s, etc. I have challenged myself a lot and my life is not necessarily exactly where thought it would be, so I don’t think it is a case of not changing due to stagnantion.
I am the same person I was 10 years ago in all major ways I can think of. Does anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
@fallingleaves: I’m still going through my twenties (just turned 23) and I haven’t changed at all. The changes that may have happened were the changes in the type of friends that I thought I needed but that only makes me stronger not weaker… I already know what I want in life and how I can achieve those goals. Of course, things are going to happen-but I don’t think my personality is going to change negatively.
I plan on proposing to my gf soon and some bees have told me that I should wait because I’m young. I’m not sure what they tell the younger people who are already engaged… but we all have our own values and ideal ages for “milestones” in life such as marriage and TTC…
Post # 4
I’m just about to turn 30, so 20s are almost complete!
I’m still the same person, but where I want to go in life got refined in my 20s. Clarified values, stronger life goals, etc. It’ll be interesting to see if the rate of change slows in my 30s or not.
Post # 5
I’m still in them (25 right now) and no, I don’t think that I personally changed that much in my 20s so far. Sure, I’ve picked up new hobbies, focussed more on different parts of my life (i.e., fitness, work, etc), but I expect that will continue thoughout my life. Even if I look, talk and act a little different, I still feel like the same person I was at 20… maybe even at 15 (albeit sliiiightly less dramatic, lol).
Post # 6
I think we all continue to change and evolve as we experience new things in life. However, with TTC, many women in their 20’s don’t feel the clocking ticking. Come late 20’s and 30’s, many women do have an undeniable urge to have children and feel the biological clock ticking down. It’s just what comes with our territory.
I have changed and matured since my 20’s but I am still the same great lady I was then – I just have a couple of extra pennies in my pocket and more firmed up thoughts in a few different places. However, whereas I did want kids in my 20’s, a couple of years ago I decided not to have children. That is a major change in the opposite direction. As I am soon to be 36, I do not foresee changing my mind on this issue. If however, my safeguards in place failed and I got prego, I’d snuggle up that babe and love them to no end.
My only advice to anyone is to keep your mind open to new thoughts and experiences and enjoy the hell out of life!
Post # 7
The only constant is change! I don’t think you ever stop changing. Not in your 20’s, 30’s 40’s…maybe your 80’s?! But even then…
I think it’s sort of poor advice when it’s about marrying young to say “I changed so much/you will change so much in your 20s”..well sure, but you will never stop changing. You shouldn’t be entering into a lifelong partnership thinking this 30 year old man will be the same man 5, 10, 15 years from now, nor content in the fact that you and/or your partner have passed the magical 20s finish line and have now settled into your true selves. Your commitment isn’t so much to this person as he is today, it’s to staying close and connected with this person throughout the evolution of their life. Marriage is about the people and their circumstances in a state of constant change – the trick adapting to it TOGETHER.
Post # 8
I thought I had it all figured out when I was in my early 20s. Now I know I don’t have anything figured out! My main goals in life haven’t changed at all. My fundamental beliefs haven’t either. But I changed in so many other ways. I have always been confident, I’ve always been a leader, but I developed so many more skills and abilites that put me heads above where I was when I finished school. I also learned a lot about myself. I had some rough times (a very serious injury) and I was shocked at how strong and determined I was going through recovery. I learned that I hate BS, drama and the people who bring it or stir it up. I have no time for that.
Also some of the smaller goals in life surprised me. Some of the hobbies I took up have shocked me. I was always a thrill seeker, but I could never have dreamed where this has taken me.
I truly hope people do change in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and so on. I think it makes you a better version of yourself. I hope I get better with age.
I thought it might slow down in my 30s until I realized all the things on the horizon. Getting married, starting a family, both will likely big about big changes in me. I’m interested to see how that happens.
Post # 9
I’m 31. I’m vastly different than I was in my early 20’s. Not so different from probably 26 on. Things like politicial views, what I like to do with my free time, what I value, what I looked for in a partner, my work ethic, how I take care of myself, etc. I think it’s hard to see when you’re only a few years in 🙂 Was I a horrible person in my early 20’s? Nope. I was just young!
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Well technically I’m 31… But yeah. I feel like the same person, but I know I’ve probably changed a lot.
Post # 11
I look at my 20,21,22,23 year old self and think, wow who is she? I’m 29 now. Morally I feel like the same person and I’ve been with the same guy the entire time so clearly some things about me didn’t change, but as a whole I feel like a different person. I have my priorites straighter and I feel like I have a better view on life. I also recognize that I have more to learn. As others mentioned I think you constantly change.
Post # 12
I’ve changed A LOT and I’m not even 25 yet! I can’t even describe.
I used to consider myself republican (because my parents were & I lived in a hicktown type of place) but am now more libertarian. I’ve realized I like girls as well as guys. I’m not as outgoing as I used to be nor as trusting (which comes with experiences I guess). I’m more of a homebody than a party goer…which I used to be kind of a good mix. I used to want lots of children (5 at one point!) and am now CBC. I used to want to be a lawyer & now I’m kind of lost in my career path but it’s definitely not law!
There’s so much more. I mean, I’m still me…my personality is still me and me at 15 would still very much get along with me now but my wants and desires in life have completely changed and so has my overall life path. I’m one of those who is glad I didn’t make a forever decision at 21!
Post # 13
I am 40 I most definately not the same woman I was at 20. I am a lot more don’t give a rats ass what others think of me now. I am a lot stronger emotionally and more independent than at that age. The 20 year old would not recognize the 40 year old me.
I live for me, I live for taking care of my child and loving my husband. Back than no..
Post # 14
I recently had to delete an old blog post-by-post because the host doesn’t have any way of mass-deletion or closing the account. This was stuff I wrote in my early 20’s (I’m 30 going on 31) and I have to say I didn’t recognise myself.
It was actually quite upsetting to have to revisit.
Post # 15
I don’t think that the people that say that mean you change at your core. But as you go through your 20s, yes there is usually a huge change in priorities, needs, desires, how you process things that happen in life, they all change. Maybe some people are more mature than others earlier, but yes I’m definitely different in many of those aspects now than I was in my 20s. Particularly my early 20s. And to a PP if you’re only 23 you can’t really say “I haven’t changed’. You’re only 3 years out of 10 in, and you wont really know you’ve changed until you look back on it later down the line. Just like right now you can see how you’ve changed since you were 15. I’m sure there is a decent difference.
Post # 16
I’ve changed. I’m less selfish, I can now control my anger, I think before I speak, and I put myself first. Now by myself I do mean my personally along with my husband. I do not care as much of what other think of me. I’m more outgoing. When I don’t get my way I don’t have a fit and show my ass. My 20s have been good to me so far. 🙂