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So.... it just sunk in that my last name is going to change... for 23 years I have had the same last name and it is hard to depart from it! Anyone else having a hard time letting go?!? I talked to the fiance and he doesn't want me to hyphenate my last name with his. Not too happy!!!
I am actually REALLY excited. I have a pretty complicated last name that no one seems to be able to pronounce. FI's last name is really easy - and I'm going to be a teacher so a simple last name will make my life alot easier!!
i like my last name a little better and my fiance's (but his is nice) and i don't get along with my father, so i'm not too bummed about my losing my association with it...
so, yeah, whatever. 
Not changing it. I was married before and had a double last name (which I promptly dropped upon our divorce which was very confusing in my industy). I'm too far along professionally to want to change it again. Luckily and surprisingly, he doesn't care either way.
I am super pumped!
The only time I had a little twinge about changing it was when I looked at the marriage license application form and it said Father's name and when I think about losing his name I get a little sad but more than sad I am excited to start my family and adopt my FI name!
I can't wait to share a name :)
however, my name now is VERY easy to pronounce, my new name? not so much :) i'll always have to spell it out. also, me being VERY irish (and a bit stubborn ;p) am a bit sad I am loosing my irish name
When we get married, I'll have had my last name for 37 years! Talk about being attached. But it's nine letters and I always have to spell it. My fiance's last name is three letters. A nice change.
Professionally and for my legal name change, I'm going to use all three names. Personally, I'll probably use just his name. I can't say I'm terribly attached to mine.
I can't wait because it's a sign of love and unity between J and I. I am PROUD to be becoming his wife! But I'm definitely sad to be 'losing' a portion of my identity too. I'm about 90% decided to keep/add my last name as a second middle name (so I'll be first-middle-mylast-hislast) - a mouthful, but I almost NEVER use my middle now, so I figure it won't come up often!
I like my last name but it is a very very common name. Its like top three most common last names lol. My fi's is very different and I know it will be a little strange at first but I cannot wait to share his name.
I can't really answer this one, because I'm not changing my name. I have never seen why it is supposed to be important for women to change their names as a sign of "love and unity," but not for men.
It would be pretty confusing if both bride and groom changed and took the other's name! I think that it can go either way, the man can take his wife's name and vice versa. Traditionally name 'inheritance' is pretty patriachal anyway. So I really don't see it as a sign of independance or a feminist move to keep your maiden name - it is still your father's name and thus derived from a man. Anyway, I've chosen to go the traditional route and take my future husband's name.
Miss Paris, if couples really wanted to have the same name, they could both change to a wholly new name. Yet somehow, the same guys who think that is too much of a hassle for them think it is fine to insist that women go through that hassle.
Yes, most people's last names come from their fathers. However, the issue with changing your name is that you lose your history. Looking for my classmates from high school or college, for example, I can easily pick out the guys on Facebook. However, there is no way to identify women I went to school with unless I know whom they married.
As far as I'm concerned, both my first and last names were originally arbitrary choices by my parents. However, they are now part of my identity, and I see no reason to change.
I have to say this is a hard one for us. Never thought it would be an issue but it is.
I want to keep my name -- it's unique and people remember it. And it's me! I just can't imagine being called something else.
My FI always assumed his future wife would take his name. It's a nice name and I have no qualms about being called Mrs. M, but to abandon the name I've always been known as just doesn't sit right with me.
I'm still very unsettled about this, and our wedding is in a month. The best solution I've come up with is to legally carry both names and use whichever one I want. I don't know how practical that will be, but it's my starting point.
Plus, like SF Carrie mentioned, there are no 100% guarantees in this life and I really don't want the hassle of changing names again if we were ever to split up. I know women who have had 4+ different names over their lifetime -- and to me, that's crazy!!
I disagree that you lose your history in changing your name. I am who I am, no matter what you call me. I will not lose my past experiences, memories, achievements, my family and acquaintances in changing my name. Yes, your name is part of your identity, but it is not your entire identity. I think it is a personal choice, it depends on what the couple wants and decides is best for them.
If I had a uncommon or nice sounding last name, I wouldn't change it at all. Now I happen to share my name with a substantial part of the swedish population. I actually think that my first name -last name combination is the most common in Sweden! So I've pretty much always looked forward to changing my name.
I'm stuck on this one. My last name is fine, basic enough and I wouldn't mind keeping it but can also change it. Love fiances last name and want to take it. But, I have a hyphanated 1st name and no middle name. So technically I can take my old last name as my middle name and then his last name. Problem is, this changes up my initials into something strange and I don't know if I want to go that route. That might sound silly but it's my thing. Of course I can hyphanate my last name and his last name but then I have 2 hyphens going on and that would be even sillier. Oh the choices.
I am totally dreading changing it. It makes me SUPER sad. Everytime I fill out a time sheet at work I think, "Only four more of MyFirst My Last" and it just bums me out. I loooooove my last name. I wish my FI was taking mine - but his was important to him too. We just made a deal that we'd both take mine as a new middle, and his would be both of our last. I'll try my best to force everyone to call me both last names but we'll see how that works out, hah.
For me, the last name is absolutely nothing about love and unity. I know lots of married people who have different last names and it makes no difference, to me, in their marriage. So personally, I just don't get why names would = love. It just seems more convenient to share a name and that's why I did it.
I can't wait to change mine!!!! In fact, legally I could change it now (we're legal, but the wedding isn't until next June) and since no one but a few select know that it's legal, that is the reason i'm NOT changing my last name UNTIL then...
I love my last name - I'm HUGE into my genealogy and couldn't be more proud to be a part of the "mylastname" family. However - I believe that - in order to grow that family tree and keep it growing, I need to take DH's last name - there's never been a question in my mind whatsoever about becoming Mrs. HisLastName.
So I guess - as far as a transition into it goes, I'm lucky that I have this year to still USE my last name, but I'm totally the kind of girl who sits here writing out "Mrs. MyFirstName His/OurLastName".
He really doesn't care WHEN i change my name, legally, and start going by his - just so long as I do it by the wedding...but knowing that no one knows - he understands why I'm keeping mine til the wedding...
so yeah - I can't wait!!!! :D
I am in the process of getting mine changed. Boy it is a lot of work. Not hard just too much. You would think they would have this process down since people have been doing this for centuries...Ugh!
It is different to see my new last name. I went from the front of the class to the back :)
I"m dropping my middle name and making my maiden name my middle, since I have degrees and awards in my maiden name. I go back and forth from being really excited to nor, but I think once I do it'll be great
I'm not 100% sure but I think I'm going to change my name to MyFirst MyMiddle MyLast HisLast. I don't want to hyphenate because both of our names are long and they don't go together at all. My concern about changing my name totally is that those who knew my in hs/college/law school/start of my career will have a hard time finding me if they ever need to. My concern about not changing my name is that people I know socially will have a hard time finding me (bc they will assume my last name is my hub's).
I'm a lawyer so networking is absolutely vital and I really need to be searchable by people who want to talk to me confidentially. Besides, I really like my father's name. :) So, socially I'll be Mrs. MyFirst HisLast, but professionally (and on facebook) I'll be Mrs. MyFirst MyLast HisLast. Totally google-able!
I am fairly regular poster but I've created a new name for this post.
Every time I see one of these posts about changing your name I really want to tell everyone my maiden name and last name but I don't want to give out that much personal information under my usual screen name. I've finally decided that it's just too funny not to post.
Maiden name: Bonass
New Last Name: Weiner
Yes, if I hyphenated my last names I would be Bonass-Weiner. We sent our engagement announcement into Jay Leno, he didn't read it on the air :(
I'm really excited because although I love my last name, my FI's is way more cool and exotic. And it's not going to sound completely crazy with my first name. :)
I couldn't vote because my option was not there. I didn't change. My husband was totally fine with this (although, not willing to change his name). I think its just a personal decision everyone has to do a lot of talking with themselves and their fiance about what to do.
We didn't really tell anyone that I didn't change, not even his family. So everyone is calling me by his name. I don't really care, I just find it funny to see how much people really assume!!
Plus... go through and change all my info?! Credit cards, passport, drivers license, social security?? Please... no way am I doing that crap.
I'm soo excited to change my name! It'll be nice to be recognized as his wife & to make ourselves one family! It's nice for a change too!! (Not that almost 21 years will compare to by the time we die)
@jpbw-that's hilarious! Too bad he didn't read it!
I'm excited to change my last name. I dislike my current last name because I acquired it from my stepfather when he legally adopted me at age 10 and he was a horrible person that I haven't spoke to since I turned 18. My original last name didn't mean much either, since my mother legally changed her last name to my biological father's last name before I was born so that she could pretend she had gotten married to keep her job. (Unwed pregnant teachers didn't go over big in the '70s in the deep south.) I never even met the guy but I had his name for 10 years.
Now I get to be part of a big family, so I think that's great. I don't mind that my professional license and my two degrees (one of which I'll earn two weeks before the wedding) will have a different last name. My first name is unique, so nobody will get confused.
I am 95% happy to be changing my name and about 5% sad to lose my maiden name. I am very excited to share a name with my husband. Do I feel more married now than I did 2 weeks ago? No. I've felt "married" to this man for months before we made it legal. But I am very happy we share the last name. And there is a little part of me that misses my old name. But I had it for almost 33 years so I think that's only natural. And if I were in the medical, legal, arts, etc. or other field were I've "made" a name for myself, I would probably have kept my name.
I do not feel as though I've lost my history or identity. I'm still a part of my "maiden" family. I'm still me, I have not changed who I am as a person. I still stand for womens rights. I still stand for equal pay. I still believe that I can do any job a man can do if I want to. I still believe in equality in every way.
Name change is a personal choice for each couple. It's something that should be discussed at length long before the marriage vows to ensure both couples are on the same page and comfortable with their decision. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
@RoddyBride09-I'm going the opposite way. I started out towards the end of the alphabet and now I'm right up at the beginning!
I can't wait- I have a last name that's a guy's name (and a first name that can be a last name) so people are always mixing it up (like if your name was Morgan Alexander and people called you Alex Morgan? YEA.)
Plus, my last name, while a simple dude's name, is often misspelled. My new last name is only 4 letters, it's often mispronounced but at least I can spell it WAY quicker!
@CorgiTales - I'm going to go with Weiner, I want to have the same name as my (future) kids.
However, for the sake of humor, my facebook name is Bonass Weiner and I also used it for my fantasy football team name this year. All our friends think it's hillarious and some of them have even tried to bribe me to hyphenate.
Changing my last name is something I didn't think I'd want to do. I thought I'd keep mine or hyphenate or something. Then I met this man that I'm going to marry and I didn't even consider not changing my name! I guess I'm more traditional than I thought :)
im hating it. in fact, ive been married for over 4 months and still havent begun the process. at my age, i have established a professional reputation and i would be giving all of that up when i change my name.
but frankly, im most upset with the mysogeny of the whole thing. my husband is all 'we have to have the same last name becuase now we are a family.' thats cool. i agree. so why cant he change HIS last name to mine. why? misogeny. the whole name change business is about ownership. i know it means a lot to him, so im going to do it. just on my own damn terms. he isnt the one that will have to go to ss office, dmv, call banks, hr department, send in passport, and he certainly isnt offering to help. just demanding that i give up my family name...a family with NO boys so the name would basically be gone. detect my bitterness?
i was thinking about adding my last name as my middle name, but i dont have a cool last name. whereas he does. why cant he change his horrible middle name to his last name and take my last name? misogeny... huh...at least he knows that i will not be in the kitchen making thanksgiving dinner while he watches tv..
After all my family drama, I can't wait to change my last name! haha.
@futuremrsmorgan - It does bother me that I have to do all this work and a lot of the reason that I'm changing my name is for him. I'm moving my last name to a second middle name so I'm holding on to it. I also have 3 brothers who can pass on the name. I have to ask, why did you choose your screen name to be what it is if you weren't thrilled about changing your name? I'm not judging or anything, just curious!! :)
I have to say that I'm a bride who used to dread it, but now I'm really looking forward to changing it. I still plan on keeping my last name as a middle name and maybe using it as a middle name for one of our future children. I feel like we're joining a team together and changing my name just means I'm wearing our team colors. As Juliet says "A rose with any other name would still smell just as sweet." As it is with most things related to a wedding, changing your name is an old tradition that is still followed.
I can't wait. My current last name is always pronounced incorrectly & spelled wrong.
My new one is so simple & straight forward. It's not Jones or Smith, but it's another common last name- especially in the area where my FI lives :)
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