- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
So I feel my planning has been, thus far, relatively stress free and going smoothly. But now I’m rethinking the whole idea of a bridal party. My fiance doesn’t have many close friends and the guys he hangs out with our primarily my best friends husbands/boyfriends. Since we are doing a destination wedding, I planned on keeping it small anyway with just a couple of my closest friends and figured he would ask their significant others. I had other friends I was considering, but didn’t want an uneven number, and I don’t even know how many people plan on coming so I narrowed it down to two. I figure with my two friends, their significant others, and then our 2 children we would have a nice even 3 on each side…
Well, fast forward months after I’ve already asked my girls to be in the wedding. My fiance had asked one of the guys, but not in a “formal way” and iI just found out the guy didn’t even realize he asked him!! My fiance hasn’t even asked the other guy and doesn’t know if he is going to. To make things even more complicated, my one friend and her husband (who my fiance asked to be in the wedding…but not formally) are going through an extrememly rough period right now, and it’s not even looking like they will still be together come spring.
Part of me just wants to forgo a wedding party altogether and just have our son and our daughter up there with us. BUT I’ve already asked my friends, and I’ve already started getting their (personalized) bridesmaid gifts. Also – I want to have my bridesmaids, I want my best friends to stand up for me, and I want pictures of all of us in our wedding attire, but I really don’t want to have bridesmaids if he isn’t going to have any groomsmen. I also feel like it would be in poor taste to tell my friends I’ve changed my mind after I’ve already asked them, and I’d be lying if I said I am afraid they would feel less obligated to go since it’s a destination wedding. I’m so confused.
Thoughts? I know I need to talk to my fiance and figure out if he is planning on formally asking his friends…but then what if he doesn’t?? I probably wouldnt have asked my friends had I known that from the beginning. Or what if my friend and her husband split before the wedding? I’m sure her husband wouldn’t go if they did.
Should I just save myself the hassle and worry and tell them to just forget about it, that I would like them there, but have chosen to just stick with the kids only and not have an actual bridal party? (at this point no one…to my knowledge…has done anything in prep for the wedding…no one has booked their vacation and we havent even looked at bridesmaid dresses yet)