Post # 1
i always thought that id drop my name and add his once i was married. then i thought about it and i am not sure if i want to get rid of it completely. the problem is our names are both long. together would be 22 letters. and both are hard to pronounce for most people. so i thought of doing its First.Middle.Maiden Middle.His last….is this crazy?? should i just drop my name? whats your opinion? and does anyone know if it costs to change name like that in NC…and if i did make middle name 2 names how would i write it on doucments….
Post # 3
a lot of women do First Middle Maiden HisLast. Another common way is First Maiden HisLast. It’s really up to you – you would rarely have to write your full name anyway.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’m doing First, Middle, Maiden, His Last. Why not?
Post # 5
Actually I’m not planning on legally changing my name and I will informally go by mylast – hisname. not sure that it’s legal, but both of us are phd students entering a field where your publication record counts and i don’t want to mess with that. plus i don’t want it to be so obvious when we co-author papers.
both of our names are hard to spell/long, so hyphenating might be a mess imo. we decided that if we have kids we will hyphenate them and just hope they are smart and will handle the 16 letter last name
now, breaking this to the in-laws? any advice? FH and I talked about this and came to a decision, but then when inlaws visiting I was unexpectedly asked tons of questions and the assumption was clearly that i would be taking his name. i mentioned the professional side of things and hyphenating was suggested. FH quietly tended to the grill…when asked later he seemed to have forgotten what we decided (which knowing how he is this may be true – honestly changing my name doesn’t seem important to him but will i receive grief for this?
Post # 6
Other: First, Maiden Last, His Last. I’ve never used my middle name, if forced I’ll use the initial. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just never bothered with it (I think it’s a neat middle name). But my dad is awesome and I’m their only child, and not a lot of my last names out there. I feel much more attached to my maiden than my middle. Plus middle and maiden are the same initial so when forced I’ll still have the same initial :).
Social Security office says they don’t care what I do with my name. I can’t get a straight answer out of the DMV, so I’m willing to battle it out with them or say “Look, how about you just put the middle initial since they are the same? You’ll be happy pretending my name isn’t legally what it is and I can know it really is what it is.”. Since legally it is what it is with the Social Security office.
Being I’ve been too lazy to use my middle all my life I don’t see having two middles or two last (hyphened or not). I see nothing wrong with anyone who does, just not for me!
Post # 7
I voted for First Middle Maiden His …. Like PP have said you won’t have to write it that much, and you can always just use First Middle Initial Maiden Initial His last name. I am using First Maiden His, and I’m still screwing it all up lol.
Post # 8
@futmrsbing27: also i think it’s important to consider what you want – are you attached to your name? do you feel like you are not ready/don’t want to change it? how does he feel?
Post # 9
I’m a professional and will be keeping my name. He is also a professional and will be keeping his name. Our future children will get a combination of our names.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@bluemartini6: That’s exactly why I am keeping my last name as part of my middle name. I am Dr. MyLastName, but I am also Mrs. HisLastName.
I publish under my maiden name but I am legally changing my name to include his last name as my sole last name for family purposes. My legal name with my university includes both names because my maiden name is still in there, so students can find me on the course schedule no problem.
Post # 11
@mrsSonthebeach: interesting, i’ll have to see how the name change discussion comes up with family again – gender is such a strange thing, why aren’t they asking if fh will be changing or hyphenating?
Post # 12
Theres no problem with having two middle names. My name currently is First Middle1 Middle2 Mylast name.
That being said if you want you maiden name to “count” more than your actual middle name then drop your middle name and replace it with your maiden name. On most forms I just put the Initial of Middle1, since it only usually leaves a space for one character. The only things that have my whole name are my passport and my diploma. If some asks my whole name I tell them all four and they can pick if they want to just put Middle1 or both Middle1 and Middle2 on the form. That just happened at the hospital not that long ago but I think she only typed in my first middle name.
Beside that I am listed in different things as MyFirst MyLast, MyFirst Middle1 Initial MyLast. or MyFirst Middle1 MyLast. I almost never see my full name listed and I’ve just gotten used to that. I have only had one mishap in all that time when a doctor’s office listed my name wrong. For example if my name was: Sue Jenny Amanda Smith, the doctor’s office listed me as Sueja Smith. I didn’t notice until a doctor came in showed me the form and said how do you pronounce that? They fixed it right after that.
To make things more confusing my mother actually legally changed one of my middle names when I was a kid. But it must not be that important because I go by what is on my birth certificate and no one has said anything not even the office that issues passports.
As far as taking the name after marriage I didn’t take his name. I would have to give up my last name entirely or have three middle names. There’s still a chance I might change it but its slim. People actually usually refer to him as Mr.MyLastName and it makes him mad. I have never been called Mrs.HisLastName but if I were I woldn’t mind. They just would need to know if they were writing something out. For example, we are having a ceremony next year (we got married legally here first) and people will need to know that I am not changing my name if they are writing us a check (we are not asking for gifts and everyone knows we are legally married already but have a feeling some people are going to write us checks anyway).
He joked that just means I need to change my name but I didn’t think that was funny. Oh well if they write checks we can’t cash because he didn’t want to tell them then that’s not my problem!
Post # 13
First, maiden name as middle(never liked my middle name so took the opportunity) and his last.
Post # 14
i’m doing first, middle, maiden, his last.
Post # 15
i was determined to ditch mine and take his and now after a week….no desire to lose my name:(
seriously considering first middle maiden his but haven’t seen that much in canada
Post # 16
First, maiden, his last! I only learned people don’t do this once I joined the bee. :-p