Post # 1
I HATE MY MIDDLE NAME.
I’ve known since I was like 8 that I wanted to change my middle name. It doesn’t suit me, I swear it’s spelled wrong, and it’s not even what my mother intended on being my middle name. She says it was all the drugs when she was giving birth. I say she was mad at me b/c she was in labor with me for 36 hours, and my newly chosen middle name was my punishment.
So I knew when FI proposed that I was going to take his last name (yeah, I hate my last name too, lol!) and change my middle name to what it was supoosed to be when I was born all at the same time.
Here lies the problem. (And correct me if I’m wrong, I totally may be!)
FI pointed out that when we get married, I’ll still have my middle name, so that will forever be on our marriage license, even though I’ll change it later. He suggested I change my middle name before the wedding, then take his last name after.
I’ve heard changing your name is a pain in the arse, and from what I’ve googled, changing it just because you want to is even more of a pain than because of getting married/divorced/etc. I’m hoping that because it’s just a middle name, and it’s keeping the same initial, it might not be that bad? (Some of my credit cards only have my middle initial on file, they don’t even KNOW my middle name, so to them there’s no issue, right?!)
Anyways … just looking for thoughts / input. Should I start changing my middle name now so it’s not on our marriage license, or just do it all at once after we get married?
Thanks in advance 🙂
Post # 3
I was in exactly the same situation as yourself, so I changed my name before the marriage licence as well as after to take my husbands’ surname.
Yes it was a pain in the arse but yes it was totally worth it!
Hope this helps!
Post # 4
@Claire_2010: Thanks so much! I think this was just the momentum (sp? lol it’s late) I needed! I’ll start looking into things on Wednesday, which is fitting b/c it’s one year out from our wedding day 🙂
Post # 5
You might want to check with how your state handles marriage licenses.
I know in Massachusetts, at the bottom you write your INTENDED NAME AFTER MARRIAGE at the bottom and whatever it is, it’s your new legal name. You can write anything. You can add middle names, drop middle names, add entirely new last names (for both parties). If your state has something similar it may save you the hassle altogether.
My DH forgot to write his middle name at the bottom where it says that and when we picked up our marriage license, the city clerk’s office wanted to confirm that he intended to drop his middle name (he didn’t! oops).
Post # 6
Well, I work in the Probate Court in Columbus, OH and we deal with both name changes and marriage licenses. For our marriage license, you put your name as it is on your birth certificate, including middle name. As for getting a name change, I don’t know how it is in California, but really the process in Ohio is very simple. People will come in to our office to start the process. They pay $108 then they have to pay the newspaper because it has to be posted there 30 days ahead of time. Then the person comes in for a hearing with a magistrate and it is done. that hearing takes maybe 5 minutes. I did hear one girl come in for a name change for something else and she was going to be getting married, so she changed her last name at that time too, so she wouldn’t have to later and that way she didn’t have to do all that twice.
I think you should talk to the Probate Court about your issue and see what they say. Maybe you will not have to put your middle name on your license either, so maybe check with the marriage licensing department as well.
Post # 7
@calico61979: thanks! seems tedious but easy, I’ll definitely look into it 🙂
Post # 8
Agree with Rachiecakes. Check with your state. I’m not changing my name so I haven’t looked into it. But my sister in Louisiana is moving her maiden name to her middle and adding her husband last name (dropping her current middle name). For that she only has to write in an INTENDED name, which could be anything. It might be that way for your as well, which would save you a lot of trouble.
Post # 9
I guess for me I was planning on legally changing my first name to my nickname. So I just waited to do everything after I was married. I also made my former first name to be hyphenated with my middle name.
Considering I had to fill out the form, show them my marriage certificate and go to court and stand in front of a judge. I’m glad I changed everything at once.
I’m not sure about what you have to do to change your middle name though. It might not be as difficult as changing your first name.
ETA: Oh, and it cost me about $150 to do it. I don’t think I could see myself doing that twice.
Oh, if I have to show proof of my name change, I just have to show them my marriage certificate and my name change court document. I probably could just show them the court document but I kinda want people to know that there’s a reason I went from a vietnamese last name to a german one. haha
Post # 10
@vabride2011: that’s what I’ve heard, but from brides that live outside of CA. I feel like CA has more strict rules, so I’ve got some homework to do! Thanks for sharing 🙂
@ttn133: I also thought about legally changing my first name to my nickname, I like how it all strings together really nicely, kind of like Rachel Leigh Cook sounds better than Rachel Cook, but my FI loves my whole first name, so I nixed that idea 🙂
Yeah, I don’t think I want to pay twice, and from what I’ve seen so far, to change your name ‘just because’ in CA, I have to pay to advertise in the newspaper…? Don’t want to have to do that. If I can just do it all in one fell swoop and not have to write out my current middle name on our marriage license!!