changing names after marriage

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 3
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@beehappy18:  May I ask what you do for a job? Why couldn’t you change your name through the licensing place where you have your professional license?

I know in some cultures it is a huge thing to have the woman take the man’s last name. I also know for some men it is a huge stab to their ego if the woman does not want to take their last name. On the other hand, I think it is absolutely ridiculous that he is going as far as filing for divorce over that, ESPECIALLY since you hyphenated it (and will probably go by his last name but for legal purposes go with the hyphenated version???). I’m sorry to be so blunt but he is being absolutely childish over this and not seeing your point as to why you are hyphenating it in the first place.


Post # 4
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think this should have been something you discussed prior to getting married.

I would look into why your marriage certificate was not deemed acceptable proof to change your name. Perhaps you need to have certified copies instead of the original. For example, my work requires a certified copy of my marriage certificate in order to update my file.

Post # 5
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

To me this sounds like it’s not about the difficulty of changing your name. You said you need to make a decision but you already have. You said you didn’t want to change your name. Waivering about how hard it is and whatnot will only give others an option to share their opinion.

The question is how is your husband going to deal with it? You should talk to him, tell him you love and respect him but that this is your decision. He can either accept it or (if he must) file for divorce. I don’t think I could be with someone who wouldn’t accept my decision about my name, could you? 

Post # 6
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i was able to get a new SS card with my new name using the document that the officient signed  but when i went to get my driver’s license changed, they need one that is certified with a raised seal.

so check the requirements because each place requires something different, but nothing can prevent you from changing your name.

Post # 7
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@beehappy18:  You get to choose whatever your name is, not your husband.  It sounds like you took his opinion into consideration — you wanted to keep your name, he wanted you to take his, so you took both.  It’s a fair compromise.

I think you need to explain to your husband why it’s important for you to keep your own name (being an only child, having ties to your own family).  Hopefully he’ll come around.

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