Post # 1
I’m thinking through my name change decision, and I’m wondering what other East Asian brides have done. So the typical options are: keep your own, take your husband’s (w/ or w/o moving your last name to a middle name), or hyphenate.
I have a Chinese last name, and so does my fiance. Hyphenating sounds awkward (is it just me, or is this true of most Asian names? or most names in general?). My first name is an English name and my middle name is Chinese. Not sure how I feel about ditching my Chinese name or detaching it from my family name to take his.
Anybody in the same boat? What did you do?
Post # 3
Both my husband and I are Chinese, and we both have 3-letter last names. I have an English first name and a Chinese middle name as well. I decided not to hyphenate and do what my mother did when she got married. One of my best friends also did the same.
(First) (Middle) (Maiden Name) (Married Name)
It’s a long name. When I went to the social security office, I changed my maiden name to become a part of my middle name. So I have 2 middle names and when I sign or write my name, i just initial like this….
(First) (middle initial) (maiden name initial) (married name)
It works for me! 🙂
Post # 4
I am still in the middle of thinking of it. But I think what I am going to do is change my first name to my english name that everyone knows me by anyways. When I became naturalized years ago I kept my chinese name and kinda regret it now. So I’m going to take this opportunity to legally change my first name to my english first name. My last name will become my middle name and I will take FI’s last name. It’s going to be super fun introducting myself because the FI’s last name is really German. Ha!
Question: For you Asian Brides who also have a Chinese Name (in chinese bc we all know the english version is just completely butchered) do you find that it’s not as big of a deal to take FI’s last name? I guess I don’t feel a huge bond to the english version of my last name as most “western” brides do. If that makes sense. I just feel like I will always have my chinese name in chinese in my mind.
Post # 5
@ Gerbara: I completely agree with you about it not being a huge deal taking FI’s last name. My chinese name will never change so it will always be a part of me.
Post # 6
<h2>@ Gerbera: I didn’t want to just delete my last name all together since it’s my family’s name. I understand that one’s Chinese name will always stay with you, but I like that my name acknowledges that I’m a part of both families. I couldn’t imagine just taking my husband’s name without keeping my maiden name.</h2>
Post # 7
I prefer my Chinese name (which is my middle name) over my last name. I was planning on just losing my last name and take my FH’s last name… but now I’ve read about having two middle names, I have to think about this more carefully!
Post # 8
I’ve been thinking about this too! I feel like my name will be really long if I don’t drop SOMETHING. Right now, it’s
(First Name in English) (Middle Name in Chinese aka TWO NAMES) (Last Name in Chinese)
Where would FI’s last name fit?? Would it be weird to change my name to:
(First name in English) (Middle Name in Chinese) (Last name in Chinese) (FI’s last name)??
I don’t want to hyphenate my last name… but maybe incorporate my maiden name into my middle name? That would make my middle name THREE names long! *sigh* I don’t know… I’m still undecided as you can tell. 🙁
Post # 9
@ ddubz: I think it’s ok if your name is long. My Chinese name is technically two names too. So my name has this many letters:
First (7) Chinese Middle Name (3+3=6) Maiden Name now turned into a part of my middle name (3) and my husband’s last name (3).
So, in total, I have 19 letters. It’s long, but I don’t ever write out my whole name. I just like that my legal name has all my names in it. 🙂
Post # 10
I’ll probably just keep my name and assume his. Or assume the hyphenated name. My last name’s Liu and my fiance’s last name is Miller. Liu-Miller may be a bit weird. I don’t think I could be a Karii Miller. That feels weird to me.
I (sort of jokingly) asked him to change his name to Hoo so I could be Karii Liu-Hoo (like Cindy Loo Hoo from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas). But he said no 🙁
Post # 11
This thread doesn’t really apply to me as I have a Scottish family name (8 letters)and will not be taking my FI’s Korean family name (3 letters), but I have 4 names (26 letters), and it’s not a problem at all. My godsister has 6 names (35 letters!) and she’s happy with her name too.
Post # 12
I’m chinese, my FI is not. I plan on going with this format:
(First)(Maiden name)(New Last name)
I’m dropping middle name, it never really went well, but keeping a part of my heritage with me!
Post # 13
I actually couldnt WAIT to change my name! I went from a boring western name (Brown) and changed to my husbands last name (Hasegawa) : )
On another note to throw your mind. I actually took my mother in laws maiden name. after my husbands mom and dad got a nasty divorce she and my husband changed their names legally to her maiden name. so now i have my mother in laws maiden name! I love it!! haha
Post # 14
Interesting thread. My Chinese middle name only has one character (my parents, especially my mom’s family, wasn’t that “conventional” so they all only have one character “given names”–no generational character). I have never used my middle name (although after 9-11, many financial institutions require me to use it). I used to be able to tell the origins of junk mail by how the envelope was addressed! But, my first name has 6 letters (not too long or too short) and my last name has 4 letters (kind of on the short side). My middle only has 2 letters (and it’s Yu–when people ask for my middle initial, I’ll respond, “Y” and then we’ll have a sort of “Who’s on first discussion). I do not intend to take my FI’s long (8 letter) German name that does not take the more common pronunciation. I plan to continue using my 6 letter first name and 4 letter last name. However, I will not correct people socially if I’m called Mrs. HisLastName.
On a side note, I always worried that I’d end up with a married name at the end of the alphabet. I don’t think I’d have been patient enough to deal with that. But, FI’s last name comes before mine alphabetically!
Post # 15
i don’t want to change my name. but if FI insists, i might do hypenation.
Post # 16
I use the last character of my Chinese given name as my legal middle name, and took my husband’s last name. When I write my Chinese name or use the chop, it still includes my maiden/Chinese family name, which is when I think it matters. Otherwise, keeping the familly name isn’t as big of a deal for girls, IMHO. My father gave a lot of thought into my given name, so I like using part of it as my middle name now. 🙂