- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
So before I met my fiance, I had what I thought was the most awesome group of friends. We’d known each other since we were in, like, 6th grade and did everything together. This was a group of both guys and girls and there were 2 couples in the group.
For the longest time I thought that they’d have my back no matter what. But over the past few years, a lot of things have changed and I really don’t know how to feel about it.
When I started dating my fiance, I hung out with them less because I was hanging out with him and his friends. It wasn’t anything against them (at first), it’s just the way things happened. But then I started getting closer to my fiance’s friends and realized I had more in common with them and these new friends were more mature than my old friends. And I was getting more mature.
I managed to maintain a relationship with my “group” over the past few years, but things got really rocky in 2010 when my mom got really sick and nearly died and several of them were really judgemental and downright mean and not there for me AT ALL.
Things got even worse with them a few months later when my fiance proposed. One of the couples was nasty and condescending about every single choice we were making regarding the engagement and upcoming wedding. It got so bad that we actually haven’t spoken in 8 months and I could care less. They are way too rude and arrogant for me to waste my time on. (it wasn’t just the wedding/mom isssue. They were nasty about a death in the family, a job loss, money troubles, etc.). Total snobs.
So now I feel like there’s this “divide” with the group because the half I’m trying to maintain a relationship with is still friends with the half who I don’t speak to anymore.
I know I can’t expect them to stop talking to these people (and I don’t) but I can’t help but feel like they are all talking about me and my fiance behind our backs when “the group” gets together.
This is all so ridiculous. I am making an effort to maintain the friendships that are still in tact and I feel that the “good half” of the group is too, to a certain degree. Like … when it’s convenient for them.
Everything feels so strained and like everyone’s walking on eggshells.
Most of the time I think I miss these people, but then I get a message from them or see them and realize they are SO not the people they used to be, and I miss the OLD them, not the current them.
I know people change but … this is just so hard for me because they’ve been in my life for so long, and up until recently, they were unwaivering.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve felt like giving up on our friendships a million times but I just can’t. I feel too guilty. And I do care about them … or do I care about what we used to have?
Honestly, this is feeling like a break up for me.
So stupid. So frustrating.