Post # 1
I desperately need your thoughts! A little background: My wedding date is set, although nothing has been booked yet (eep!). I just settled on a venue this past weekend, picked a date, but have not officially booked it until I do the tasting. I was getting ready to order some Save the Dates, and then it happened…a horrible scheduling snafu!
My aunt and uncle who I am very close with learned of my date last night at dinner. When I excitedly shared my date, their faces dropped, my aunt teared up, and dinner got really awkward. Turns out, my wedding date is their best friend’s kid’s date. They have been involved with the kid’s wedding planning and are extremely obligated to attend. There were murmurs from my aunt’s mother about how family came first. There were looks between my aunt of uncle of utter deflation. It was a horrible moment. Of course, then I got really upset. My aunt got a knot in her stomach, I’m cracking jokes about them “never getting an invitation.” My aunt and uncle will have to make a choice: family or friend?
My Fiance and I are super laid back and understand if people have prior obligations. However, my family is not so understanding. I know if my aunt and uncle miss our wedding, it will be WWIII, and my wedding date will be forever known as the date that my aunt and uncle chose a friend over family. If they do attend my wedding, they will feel so horribly bad that they won’t even have a good time.
Here’s my dilimena bees…do I change the date so my aunt & uncle can attend my wedding in peace? Is that weird? I just want our celebration to be a good time and don’t want anything to detract from that! Please let me hear your thoughts!
Post # 3
If you do not have a problem changing it then change it. I do not think that would be weird at all.
Post # 4
I would change your date.
Post # 5
I think you can change it, as you haven’t booked anything yet. Because if you kept the date, your aunt and uncle would be unable to attend as they have already said yes to the other wedding, it would not be a family vs friend argument at all, just a simple matter of sticking to commitments
Post # 6
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t change it.
Post # 7
Unless you’re super attached to the date for some reason, I think you should just go ahead and change the date.
Post # 8
Definitely change it, nothing has been booked- as long as the date doesn’t hold some major significance. As you said, they’ll feel guilty with choosing family or friends (regardless of which wedding they go to), and they won’t have a good time. The friends might argue that their wedding was planned first, and they therefore had already committed to attend that one… your aunt and uncle risk losing good friends or family either way.
Post # 9
Unless you have some really sentimental reason why you picked your date, and as long as you are ok with it and the venue can accomidate i do not see anything wrong with changing it! I know I would want my aunt to be there 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 11
Thanks Bees! I am attached to the date, but it’s not nearly as important as having my aunt and uncle at my wedding. I also cleared it with my venue, and whew, another date several weeks earlier is open. Thanks for the input!
Post # 12
Right before we put money down on July 6 we found out a second cousin had planned her wedding for the same day. This is not a cousin we see or would be invited but my FIs grandma and aunties would be. We didn’t want to make anyone choose so we switched to June 15. I didn’t want it during the school year originally, there are teachers in my family that will have to travel far, but it was the only summer date left. Now that its done I’m very happy with the new date!
Post # 13
I’d change it if you don’t care about changing it. If you don’t want to change it keep it. I’m in the boat that family is first – whether the other wedding was booked long before yours or not, but that’s just me. Would you be upset if they didn’t attend to attend the other wedding? Would you miss them not being there? Good luck!
Post # 14
If you haven’t put a deposit down and no save the dates have been sent, change it.
Post # 15
Just read your update. I’m glad everything worked out!
Post # 16
Glad you changed the date… Your aunt and uncle will really appreciate it.