Post # 1
FH and I had created a small gift registry for our upcoming wedding, but something about it never sat right with me. We’ve been living together for about a year and honestly have everything we need. Asking people for gifts with a registry when we don’t really have material needs seemed rude to me. So, we decided to do a charity registry with our local Humane Society instead. We both love animals, and so do many of our friends and family, so I don’t think it’s going to be a controversial choice. But, I want to make sure the wording on our website doesn’t imply that we’re expecting gifts or anything. Here is what I wrote:
“In lieu of a traditional gift registry, we are asking anyone who would like to give us a gift to please consider making a donation to the [State Name] Humane Society. We have all that we need for our home already, and would be greatly honored to have our wedding be an occasion to support animals in need.”
Does this sound okay? I’m thinking about changing part of it to, “We are fortunate/blessed to have all that we need for our home already…”
Post # 3
You could say “Because we are an established household, please consider a donation to the Hukane Society in lieu of a traditional gift.”
Post # 4
@cassclaw: I think you need to offer choices. Not everyone will feel comfortable in donating to a humane society.
I’m also not sure that you need to advertise it, except via word of mouth.
Also know that some people will not do this, and will absolutely insist on a physical gift for you. I like to commemorate someone’s life event with something long lasting, and that they will like and cherish. So I wouldn’t personally donate, but it’s a lovely thought to give to someone else.
Post # 5
@cassclaw: if you don’t want gifts, simply don’t register. most guests then will give you cash as a gift; then you can make that donation yourself if you want.
Post # 6
As a guest, I would like this. I’m not a huge fan of material gifts (either giving or receiving) and I always get anxious about giving cash because I don’t know how much to give, so I would be very happy to be able to make a donation as a gift.
Post # 7
This is very much a to each their own situation. Personally, if I saw that, I would absolutely not donate. It’s not that I don’t agree with the cause, but something about “donations in lieu of gifts” rubs me the wrong way.
I would simply not mention anything about gifts in writing, perhaps spread the donation suggestion via word of mouth, and let people give what they feel comfortable giving. We were in a similar situation as you; we have lived together for 4 years before we got married, did not need household stuff, and as such we did not make ANY kind of registry whatsoever. People gave us cash to do with what we please.
Post # 8
@cassclaw: We’re planning something similar and have been spreading the news by word of mouth – directing guests to a particular guide dog organization. So far it has been well received.
Post # 9
I agree with the ‘in lieu of gifts’ part. I’m not sure I would say anything about alreadying having everything you need. Just request them considering a donation instead. I think it is fine to put that on your wedding website otherwise. People do things like that all the time, like instead of flowers for sad occasions they request donations to specific charities.
Post # 10
We have a website with a registry but we don’t want gifts. We want people to donate(if the choose) instead to our favorite charity of choice. We wrote:
“Nobody is wealthier than two people who have found themselves madly in love. When people are surrounded by love, nothing else in the world has any value. This is probably what the Beatles were talking about. In this spirit, we have decided that we are not going to have a registry of the conventional sort. We are simply too full to have any more. We do, however, know of several people around the world and in our communties that struggle daily to meet life’s demands. These people should be the benefactors of our love.”
FI wrote it(in charge of website). We will do a bit of tweeking to the wording but you get the idea. I am sure someone will do a eye roll but it is sincere and we are very passionate about our charities. I bet we broke a ton of etiquette rules. Lol. Our family knows us pretty well and since it is a small intimate wedding I don’t think they would be surprised. Write what you feel is best!
Maybe our wording is of help?
Post # 11
@cassclaw: As a guest, I’d be all about this! And if they don’t support your cause, they can still choose to give your cash or some sort of physical gift. They still have that choice.
Kudos to y’all! I’ve always thought this was a great idea – reminds me of kids who have bday parties and instead of getting gifts, they ask for supplies for animal shelters and whatnot. 🙂