- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
So let me start by saying that I really like and respect my mother in law. BUT there is a huge cultural difference between my family and his family. We are from a country in Europe and they are American. Our parents are paying for our wedding. My parents just told us to pick whatever we want and not worry about money. To us weddings are a BIG DEAL and a wedding is NOT an event where you should try to save money. It is actually considered very offensive for the groom’s and bride’s family if the wedding is not as luxurious as it can be.
Fiances mom is…lets say VERY careful with money. She looks down on my family for wanting to spend a lot of money and telling us to chose the best of the best. I am not going crazy and picking the most expensive stuff (I put a budged of 2000 for both my dresses even though my mom told me to chose ANY dresses I want and just let them know). It is very hard for me to combine the wishes of both families. Mother in law has already warned my fiance abt how I like to spend a lot of money. She has told him that when we get married he should be the one taking care of our money and my fiance agreed with it. I had a conversation with her where I very respectfully asked her not to get involved in our finances after we are married. I feel like she is worried that her son will not be able to save money like she did her whole life. Her husband passed away a year ago (:(((((((((((( great man!!!) and she even engraved her name on his stone so that her kids don’t have to spend money on that when she passes away (which hopefully will be a LONG time from now). When I saw her name and date of birth on the stone I was SOOO shocked. Maybe that is an American thing? Is it normal??? In my country it’s not normal.
The problem is that my fiance is SO MUCH like his mom! In some cases that is great, but when it comes to looking down on me and my family, it really bothers me. I have always liked my mother in law, I just never feel like she is honest with me. She looks down on my family and that really bothers me. I will never stop respecting his family, it just bothers me that I don’t see myself enjoying spending time with them in the future.