Post # 1
My fiance and I have an absolutely amazing relationship, and I would never say that I don’t trust him 100%. He is amazing and I’ve never doubted his faithfulness.
However, I keep having dreams that he reveals that he cheated on me! I had TWO of them in a row last night!
The dream is usually that we’ll be talking to someone and that person will reveal that they slept with my fiance at some point, and then my fiance will say "yes, it’s true, but it ended months ago" as if because the affair is not going on NOW it’s no big deal.
The dreams usually end with me weeping and feeling soul crushing devastation.
Am I secretly insecure? I don’t actually think he’s cheating! Am I losing my mind? Or is wedding stress making me crazy?
Post # 3
I can totally relate to you, amandopolis! I have a wonderful fiance, and we have a solid relationship full of love, but I have had dreams both that he has cheated on me and that I have cheated on him. I analyzed them and analyzed them over and over again, trying to figure out where they came from. Did I secretly want out? Did I suspect that he secretly wanted out. After agonizing over them for a while, I decided that NO. These dreams were just dreams. Random revelations. I know that when I am awake that I am where I need to be, and that my relationship is solid. If you feel the same, reassure yourself, and hopefully your dreams will move into other phases like purple rabbits marrying you or growing a third leg, like normal people. 🙂
Post # 4
I’ve had dreams where he cheated on me too! I trust him 100%. I didn’t think much of the dreams when they happened, I always have wacky dreams. And I always tell him about them, he thinks I’m nuts.
Did you guys tell your FI about the dreams?
Post # 5
Interesting question.You can’t control your dreams. Sometimes you can draw parallels to reality but it’s not always accurate.
Whenever I have dreams about either of us being with another person (I do have those) I never consider it from a cheating aspect. For this example, I have been thinking about whether or not to change my last name, but I have no kids and no connection to Sweden. In my dream the other night, I had just arrived in Sweden and couldn’t get a hotel because I was looking for my baby daddy, I didn’t know who, and was going to take his name. Since I didn’t know my name, I couldn’t get a hotel. I told FI about that and it was just funny.
I think if I felt cheated on in my dream, I would talk with him about it. Sometimes the reassurance is nice, even when you know better. Usually when I dream about him, he’s with another man. He gets tired of hearing about that, though!
Post # 6
What we’re taught in school is that dreams rarely mean what they seem to mean on the surface. It’s likely, in a solid relationship, that cheating dreams are a symptom of wedding anxiety more than actual cheating.
I would pay attention moreso to behaviors and feelings while you are awake to guage whether there is an issue of trust, and make some checklists to see if the anxiety dreams go away!
Post # 7
Maybe the dreams are more about your fear of loosing him then your fear of him cheating.
Post # 8
i would guess that your dreams have less to do with what you actually feel he is likely to do and more so about the hidden insecurities that everyone has. marriage is such a huge step and even when you love and trust your partner 100%, the stress of planning and waiting for the day can just bring those nerves to the surface.
i’ve had a few dreams like this too and i know my FH would never…i think its pretty natural.
Post # 9
My dreams are the craziest dreams of anyone I know, and I will have dreams where my FI or even I cheat, but then we start running from a dinosaur in front of the white house while having giant CDs that were like playground slides (seriously I had this dream once!)
I do wonder about the correlation between our true thoughts vs. dreams, and the symbolism esp since mine are SO weird!
Post # 10
I have had dreams of my FI (and even me!) cheating. I don’t take it seriously because it would never happen. If you two trust each other, the dream shouldn’t matter…even if it reoccurs.
Post # 11
Hi there, I had those dreams too, and even with some gorgeous guys I had never even seen in my life, sometimes I tell him and sometimes I dont
Post # 12
I have been having dreams like that too lately! I think it has to do with the wedding stress. I never had dreams like this until about 6 months ago. As a psychologist I can only figure that the dreams are stemming from my anxiety and nervousness about the wedding. Not my trust or insecurity in him. And rnc260, I think you are on the right track. Maybe its more about a small insecurity about losing him, not him being unfaithful. We are all on the verge of making a HUGE step in our lives, and its completely normal to be nervous, scared, and even have second thoughts! But it doesn’t mean we don’t love our FIs or don’t want to get married!!
Post # 13
I am in an opposite boat. I keep having dreams that FI catches me with someone, once it was even one of our groomsmen! I have no feelings nor the guts or bad will to ever ever ever cheat, I love my FI more than I could ever say and I feel horrible when I have the dreams…
Post # 14
Maybe its from shows you have seen on tv.
Perhaps maybe some feelings of everything is too perfect and something has to be wrong?
Post # 15
I had cheating dreams before – but it was about 7 years ago (we’ve been together for 11). It bothered me at first, but then I just shook it off because I have weird dreams all the time.
Just don’t get mad at your FI in real life for something his did in your dream. Sometimes it’s hard to separate those very real feelings that occur in dreams.
Post # 16
Yikes! What horrible dreams.
I agree with what people have said here, I don’t think these dreams mean he’s cheating on you, but I’m sure it’s just something else.
But I feel for you because it is SO HARD to wake up from a realistic dream and just move on from it – when it is so real and so sad!