Cheating – is it inevitable?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
3666 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Daizy914:  That’s idiotic and I don’t think the majority of people feel that way, otherwise nobody would get married. Nobody goes into a marriage assuming that 10 years down the road one or both of them will cheat. It sounds like the opinion of somone who has been burned too many times in relationships and assumes that they all suck.

Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Not inevitable, and I think saying it is gives people an excuse, like they aren’t to blame if they stray. Yes, you are capable of being faithful, and it’s on you if you chose not to.

Post # 4
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Just going off your title my gut reaction is “Oh god I hope not.” I’ve been with my DH since we were 18. I hope we are mature enough and have good enough communication to prevent something like that from ever happening. To add, my grandparents married just out of high school and celebrate 67 years of marriage this week, and from my understanding have each been faithful to the other their entire lives. My parents were married at 21 and were high school sweethearts, married 30 years and also no cheating. 

Post # 5
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Cheating is not necessarily something that is bound to happen in long term relationships/marriage. “A” just has a very jaded view on relationships apparently. I know it’s upsetting to hear stories like what happened to your friend, but please don’t let it negatively impact your views on relationships (especially yours). If both people are comitted to their relationship and to being faithful to each other, there is no reason for cheating to happen. 

Post # 6
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

This is crazy.  OF COURSE people stay faithful in their marriages.  Cheating is NOT ok.  As for your friend- 5 or 6 years of cheating is 1/4 of their total relationship. that’s too long and I would have said bye a long time ago!

Post # 7
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Daizy914:  Uh no, cheating is not inevitable and is totally dependent on a person’s values. It should never be presented as a “given” that you or your spouse will end up being unfaithful. If there was any doubt in my mind that my DH would not struggle to remain faithful in our marriage, I would not have married him.

Post # 8
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Daizy914:  

There is no reason to assume that your man will cheat on you, just because other people are cynical about marriage. I used to think the same way because I grew up seeing so many men have affairs. Now I realize that there are some men who are actually mature and honorable enough to stay faithful to their wives. I know women cheat as well but I am only speaking of my experience.

Post # 9
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t say it’s inevitable, but unfortunately I’m a part of the group with whom it has happened to. DH and I started dating when I was 18 (he was 21) and he had emotionally cheated on me numerous times up until 2009-or-so. I suspect he had also kissed a co-worker, but he denied it.

Post # 10
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think cheating is a choice. My parents have been together for 38 years and to my knowledge neither of them ever cheated. I believe in marriage and i think lts possible to have a long happy and healthy relationship, if you both want to keep working on it.

Post # 11
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

cheating is a choice, and often a product of something lacking in the relationship. and quite frankly, if my hubby was so unhappy that he “had” to cheat on me for YEARS, i’d rather he leave and go be with her than to carry on a charade with me. 

 

Post # 13
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

Everyone has a choice about what they do, including whether they cheat. I hate people saying ‘they can’t help cheating’. Of course they can, they just chose not to. It’s such a cowardly excuse.

Post # 14
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Cheating is only inevitable when one person in the relationship lacks integrity. There are people in this world whose value systems wouldn’t allow for an indiscretion of that magnitude to occur, people with good character don’t cheat. Its a choice and the only people who make the choice to hurt their partners are those who are severely lacking in integrity, decency, or any sort of morality.

Post # 15
Member
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I do not think it is inevitable, I do find it facinating however that people choose a mate that they stay with for life when there are 7 billion people on this earth. I do think that its sad that these people you are reffering to are actively entering relations on the impression that after so many years of marriage one of them will cheat.

I do often wonder the secret to a long happy marriage.

I often wonder whether the elderly couples checking into my hotel who seem so in love after 60+ years have secrets. Is it ‘easier’ to cheat in modern times or was it easier to hide before all this modern technology?

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