Cheating! reality and whats acceptable.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2419 posts
Buzzing bee


you are gangbusters BONKERS if you think no one (including you) will ever fall into temptation.


This is an absolute statement and there are very few absolutes when it comes to human nature.


You might want to add that black and white world views are preferred, please no grey areas.


Post # 4
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m older and I’ve never cheated nor been cheated on.  Whatever works for people, but for me it’s a total dealbreaker.


Post # 5
6896 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@undercoverjoan:  Sorry, I don’t think I’m “bonkers” to believe that neither of us will cheat on the other.

I do agree that he probably fantasizes but I’m okay with that and don’t consider that cheating.


Post # 6
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Guess I’m bonkers, but I am not interested in hurting my man or jeopardizing our marriage. Cuh-RAYYYY-zee me!!!

Post # 7
636 posts
Busy bee

Yup. You’re going to get flamed. You’re going to get flamed a lot.

This thread was a bad idea.

Post # 10
2419 posts
Buzzing bee



You don’t have to repeat it for me. I saw it the first time and I knew you were talking about temptation vs. actual cheating.


I see you’re softening your position from all couples facing temptation to 999 out of 1,000 couples so this might be progress.


Enjoy the wine!


; )






Post # 11
5220 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@undercoverjoan:  I’ve experienced a few bouts of infatuation while with my husband, even after we were married, but I’ve never ever cheated on him. I’ll be 100% honest and say the thought did cross my mind when we were in a fight though. I’m sure he also has thoughts that he can’t control. I don’t care as long as he doesn’t act on them.

Post # 12
438 posts
Helper bee

@undercoverjoan:  I deal with temptation by not giving in. Simple as that. I admit that I probably emotionally cheated on my ex with a close friend. One night we were drunk and he was trying his hardest to get me to kiss him. And I really wanted to. But I thought about what that would mean for my relationship. So I didn’t. I went to bed and felt like complete shit for several days because I knew even getting to that point was wrong. 

Because of that experience (among others…I was a stupid teenage girl emotionally) in my current relationship I recognize temptations and distance myself from them before it gets to be a problem because I don’t want any problems to threaten my relationship.

I don’t think my current boyfriend has dealt with any major temptations yet since I’m his first love and he’s always head over heels. But I’ve told him about my past and have expressed that it’s ok to recognize those temptations as what they are but that I hope he can extract himself from the situation before it gets to be serious. I do worry a little bit because of what I did in the past (not with him), but I know that he would never do anything physical – he would probably break up with me if he did because he would feel so bad!

Post # 15
1783 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think most people will be tempted but not everyone falls into that temptation. Theres a big difference between those two statements. 

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