(Closed) Cheating – to stay or go

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: have you...
    been cheated on and stayed despite : (38 votes)
    18 %
    been cheated on and left (exclusively) because of the cheating : (26 votes)
    12 %
    been cheated on and left because of a combination of the cheating + something else : (28 votes)
    13 %
    been cheated on and not found out until after you'd left : (30 votes)
    14 %
    cheated, but your SO stayed despite : (22 votes)
    10 %
    cheated, and your SO left (exclusively) because of the cheating : (0 votes)
    cheated, and your SO left because of a combination of the cheating + something else : (4 votes)
    2 %
    cheated and not been found out : (39 votes)
    18 %
    knowingly been the "other woman"; you stopped seeing him before she did : (25 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    As far as I know I have never been cheated on, nor have I cheated. It’s easy from the outside looking in on someone else’s situation to tell them what to do, but I honestly don’t know what I would do if I knew DH had cheated on me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2077 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m with @missfireslayer.  I’ve never cheated and haven’t been cheated on, so I don’t know what I would do in this kind of situation.  I like to think that I would give him a second chance, but I also know that it completely depends on what happened, who it was with, how long it was happening, etc. for me to make any kind of decision.

    I really hate hearing about people getting cheated on by their SOs.  It’s so heartbreaking.  I don’t judge other’s decisions when it comes to this because I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were in their shoes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    My first BF in high school cheated on me when he went to college.  Granted, I was young, it was my first real relationship, but it was awful.  He lied about it, I found out through friends (he wasn’t going to tell), and I gave him HELL when he finally dragged his sorry butt to my house to “apologize.”

    He did really, truly apologize about 2 years later when I went over to hang out with his sister (we were still friends).  But it still didn’t fix it.

    I’m way past it now, but I’ll never forget those feelings of betrayal and loss.  If it happened again, I know I would probably either leave, or at least separate for awhile till we could go through some serious counseling.  It’s really, really hard to be treated like that and still stay, at least in my experience.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee

    I dated a young man whom I am pretty sure cheated on me while we were dating. There were so many signs pointing to get the hell out of there but I just couldn’t see them. I have always believed that if I knew someone had cheated I would kick them straight out the door but love can be blinding sometimes.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think cheating would be the one thing I would never tolerate, and I hoped that he wouldn’t either. I believe I’m worth being committed to, and if the other guy didn’t think so, I can bet there is someone out there who would.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2008 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    My ex-boyfriend cheated on me and it helped me leave although we were already on the outs. 

    I’ve also been cheated on and am staying.  I never thought it was something I would tolerate but sometimes you can surprise youself.  (I did make sure I COULD make myself leave if I wanted to though and that I wasn’t staying just because I was scared of being alone.)

    To my mind I have never cheated on any one, although I was a little cavalier with my kisses in highschool once and even that made me feel terrible.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My daughter’s father cheated and got another woman pregnant…that was a dealbreaker for me. I didn’t know definitively that he was cheating but something in my spirit told me something was off so I ended the relationship and asked him to leave. I found out about he was cheating after the baby was born. Funny enough, I have a good relationship with the “other woman” and even more crazy..our daughter’s look like twins. Like literally the spitting image of each other.

    I have also, unknowingly, been the other woman. Again…something was off…so I googled…LOL. I let his wife know about it and kept it moving. I don’t do husbands…unless it’s my own.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I was cheated on in the past, but only found out after we broke up.  Then, I was knowingly the other woman with an ex & at the time didn’t feel bad about it since their relationship was new and in my crazy brain at the time I justified it by telling myself he was mine first.  Anyway, I was dumb and if I could take anything back in life I’d surely take that back.

    **Oh, and just to be clear this was a dating situation, not a marriage.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    When I was younger, there were several relationships that were (in my mind) over, and rather than doing the mature thing and breaking up with my SO, I cheated on them until we eventually officially broke up. To my knowledge, none of my SOs knew I had cheated.

    When I was much younger (as in not-quite-legal), I was knowingly the other woman, and justified it by the logic of “I’m not the one who made the vow to be faithful.” I suspect his wife knew that he was cheating (and I was definitely not the only other woman), but I do not know for sure.

    These days, I cannot fathom cheating on my husband, or helping someone else cheat on their spouse, and I’m ashamed that I ever did. With age has come the realization that I was an asshole for betraying the trust of a loved one. Never again.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @ddw: The crazy part about it was his wife wanted to know details all the while knowing she wasn’t going to leave her husband. If you already know you are going to stay, why torture yourself with the details?? Luckily for me, I was’t emotionally invested at all…just casually dating.

    Post # 15
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee

    juicy poll…lol  Cool idea.

    Post # 16
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee

    Watch this poll get featured on CNN or something.  lol  The thing is women hide so well.  You never hear about women cheating.  You always hear about the cheating guy and the faithful wife.  I guess women are just more covert…really scary to know…lol

    The topic ‘Cheating – to stay or go’ is closed to new replies.

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