(Closed) Checking SO's emails/web history/facebook etc while waiting?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do you check your SO's emails/web history/facebook while waiting?
    Yes, I do it all the time! : (4 votes)
    3 %
    Never, that is an invasion of privacy : (90 votes)
    72 %
    Sometimes : (31 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    8473 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Nope, never did anything like that. I just wouldn’t have felt right. 

    Post # 4
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I never did. Not only becasue it is an invasion of privacy but also because I wanted it to be a surprise.

    Post # 6
    4439 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @IslandGirl6:  You are going to ruin the surprise!

    As for the invasion of privacy, Fiance and I both do it to each other sometimes, so it doesn’t bug me *shrug*  Like you said, he gave you the passwords and lets you use his email account.

    Post # 7
    352 posts
    Helper bee

    early in my relationship my boyfriend left his fb open on my computer and I read some of his messages. Bad idea! It just made me jealous and upset for NO reason.

    I felt so crappy about it that I told him! He forgave me and I definitely will NEVER do it again, even for “waiting” purposes.

    But- I have friends that do this all the time.

    Post # 8
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    Uh, no….I just don’t think that’s cool to do, even if he gave you his passwords.

    Post # 9
    2270 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Don’t get caught up in the “end goal” of getting that ring. Really, just enjoy the journey. Once you get the ring, you may wish you hadn’t been so impatient. Just let it be genuine, and let it happen. I’ve been with my SO for 8 1/2 years btw, so I am practicing what I am preaching lol. I got impatient and bitchy a couple years ago and I wasn’t able to boss him into getting me a room, and I am very grateful he didn’t cave at that time. Anyway, you may not even be trying to coerce him like I tried so that my be beside the point. I’m just saying, just let it be a surprise.

    Post # 11
    6360 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Did not and do not.

    Post # 12
    9075 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My husband has told me that my computer is free to him. If I wanted to look at his e-mails, or his facebook, or whatever, I can.

    But that doesn’t mean I will.


    Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Saying “But they gave me the passwords!” does not mean that you should go romping through their private files and their private life.

    I absolutely would never read my husband’s e-mails.

    Post # 13
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Early on, I would check his browser history maybe like once a month to see if he looked at rings. I guess I did it maybe 3 times total because I didn’t want to talk about an engagement and be pushy if he was already looking at rings. Once I was sure he wasn’t looking at rings, I suggested we look together and he was so happy and relieved. BUT, if I HAD seen that he was browsing ring websites, I would have not opened them to see what he was looking at. I didn’t want to ruin any surprises… but I still wanted to know that we were moving towards an engagement eventually… ya know? It took my FH 5 years to propose and I really didnt want to wait another 5.

    Post # 14
    2261 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No way. I don’t think anything could justify invading another’s privacy like that, even if passwords were offered. Before we became engaged, especially, I would never consider looking through his personal business like that. That’s just a line of trust I would not and will not cross, no matter what I was hoping to discover.

    Post # 15
    4797 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    I used to use FH’s Facebook to play Sims Social with myself (with his permission, of course!) but I wouldn’t check it all the time just because, even though I have all his passwords. 

    Post # 16
    5007 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have never checked my FI’s phone, email, Facebook, etc. even when I knew a proposal was in the near future. I intend to maintain that habit forever, I think it’s really sneaky and untrusting when people (usually it’s women) snoop. We have nothing to hide but have no reason to look through each other’s things. Just say no!!

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