(Closed) Chemistry vs. emotion first or both?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Chemistry vs. emotion-- or both?
    Both at once! : (13 votes)
    26 %
    The chemistry came first-- the emotional bond followed soon after! : (19 votes)
    38 %
    We were friends first! : (18 votes)
    36 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Fiance and I had been friends/co-workers for two years before we started dating.  Nothing else was an option because I was in an LDR for those two years, as well as the fact that Fiance was my supervisor at work (teeheehee…). But said LDR was a bad relationship, and I actually ended it so that I could date Fiance.  Once we were a couple, we both admitted that we’d been attracted to each other fairly soon after we met. Oh, and he changed jobs about two months after we started dating, so he is no longer my boss. 😉

    Post # 4
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    We met on match.com and the chemistry was very strong the first time we went out.  By the third date he had asked me to take down my profile.  The running joke is "we just clicked".  I’d say I became emontionally involved sooner than he did, but once he was emotionally involved he was a goner!

    Post # 5
    36 posts
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Nate and I worked on the same street- me at a salon, and he owned the neighborhood pizza place.  The first time I saw him behind the counter all I could think was,"he looks like the man I’m going to marry!"  Then I stood there unable to speak or even read the boards behind him for a fer minutes-so I blurted out something about chicken parm!!! (again, couldn’t even focus on the menu board, but quick hinking since it was an Italian place)

    For the next 2 months I would dress up everyday in the hottest outfits possible, and always find an excuse to walk there to pick up lunch (even though they delivered).  Everyone in the salon had started calling him my boyfriend and then one day we decided to meet for drinks after work.  Let’s put it this way, it was the best one night stand ever, and I knew from the first moment I saw him that he was the one.  We were joined at the hip after that first wild night, and couldnt’t be happier…  For us, it felt like on top of being super attracted to eachother, we had this deep connection like we had always been friends!!!

    Oh, and Nate wants me to mention that he felt the same way the first time that he saw me!  And he thought I was sexy in my red stilettos…in the snow…:)

    Post # 6
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I was physically attracted to my fiance first. We went on a date and we were both so nervous that we decided to just be friends. We ended up being great friends and then began dating.

    Post # 7
    2000 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    it was a tough call for me. We were acquainted before, but about a month after I broke up with my ex, I suddenly started seeing my future Fiance in a new light. I couldn’t think about anything but him! That attraction made it hard for me to talk to him or even in front of him. It’s funny, but looking back now, we didn’t know each other AT ALL when we first started dating!

    Post # 8
    773 posts
    Busy bee

    My Fiance were friends for 4 years before we started dating.  When we met, he was in a serious, 2.5 year relationship that everyone thought would lead to marriage.  They broke up while I was living abroad, then he went abroad as soon as I got home, but we had a little reunion over the holidays three years ago and suddenly, we realized that when neither of us was off limits due to other relationships, there was some attraction there!  Three years later, we’re on our way to the altar!

    Post # 9
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    we met on myspace but we thought we new each other some other way. when we met in person the chemistry was obvious. he spilled his drink and i head butted him. the emotional bond took its roots about a week later.

    Post # 10
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    To be honest, I thought my Fiance was quiet and nerdy the first time I met him, and probably wouldn’t have paid a whole lot of attention to him, but he made a Star Wars quote that piqued my interest, and then came knocking at my door later in the evening.  Things quickly took off from there.

    Post # 11
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I still remember the instant I knew he was mine. He walked into a bar to meet me and some friends, I remember exactly what he was wearing and I was in love instantly. I texted him the next day and said it was a good thing I lived 700 miles away or I’d steal him from his girlfriend. They broke up a few months later and IT WAS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.

    Post # 12
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    That’s so funny….I was reading all of your comments, and didn’t see any that were relatable to me and West Coast Groom, until I saw History Bride’s comment.  I took thought my H2B was awkward and quiet the first FEW times we were together. 

     WCG and his friend happened to be out having some beers at the same pub I used to go to all the time with my girlfriends.  I got "stuck" talking to this sweet looking but very quiet guy, while his louder, taller, much bigger personality of a friend hit on my friend. 

    I think I’d HAVE to say chemistry came first just because he was so shy, I don’t think it’s possible I was drawn to him for any other reason.  I saw him a few times after that before we went on our first date, and I just found him intriguing.  I was curious about him–his personality was puzzling and different than any guys who had been interested in me in the past.  Our first real date was horribly awkward and I even did the "have to save a friend" phone call maneuver to get out of it! Thankfully, my attraction and curiousity gave me cause to say yes the next time he asked me out and we were pretty much inseperable from the first night we spent together 🙂

    Post # 13
    5823 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @caliocteach: I love your joke!! Did you use it in your wedding at all?

     @ HistoryBride: Did he say "You want this … don’t you?" LOL

    My Fiance and I had a palpable chemistry. Like magnets snapping together. It took one night together and the emotions matched the chemistry and…well here we are!

    Post # 14
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee

    we were friends and I had just started dating someone else, but that guy ended it after 6 weeks, and we started dating about a month or 2 later

    Post # 15
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    It’s different depending on which of us you talk to. I think he liked me almost immediatly, but he was older and had been looking for someone significant for a lot longer than me, so his senses were up for that. I remember thinking he was a nice enough guy, and then at a picnic, he sat next to me and the entire time talked about self-defense techniques I could use as a short woman if a man as big as him ever attacked me (sketchy, right?). I thought he was a freak, but that night, I dreamed about marrying him! The next day, I saw him in class, and I started to think about him in a different light, and we just started talking and hanging out as friends. Six weeks later, he asked me out and once we admitted we were more than friends the chemistry was off the charts. 🙂

    Post # 16
    1048 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

    We were friends (and coworkers) first. He was quiet but friendly, and we were both in relationships that were long-term but dead-end. We ended up talking a lot and helping each other through our (respective) break-ups, and later started dating.

    There was a lot of emotion there, after sharing so much… and the chemistry (mmm, tension!) showed up at about the same time.

    The topic ‘Chemistry vs. emotion first or both?’ is closed to new replies.

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