- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hi Bees. This will probably be long and maybe a vent/rant session so I apologize in advance.
My oldest daughter Abby is 9. She’s in grade 4 and has been going to her school for 2 years. Last year she made fast friends with a girl in her class…lets call her O…which caused some jealousy from another girl which lead to both my daughter and O getting bullied pretty badly. It was delt with quickly by us (parents from all parties involved) and the school. By the end of the year they were all friends.
Abby and O became best friends. O’s little sister became good friends with my other daughter and all 4 girls played together all the time without issues either at my house or their house. They have had a ton of sleepovers and O’s mother…she can be V… has had me drive her kids to and from school countless times, V would ask for rides to the bank and the store and I’ve brought milk and some groceries to her house when payday is just a little to far away. V would let my kids go home with hers after school and feed them if I got stuck at work or traffic bad and I was running late. It was an I scratch your back you scratch mine kind of thing. I never complained because I honestly didn’t mind helping her out.
Fast forward to last month.
My fiancé and I wanted to get away and destress for a bit. Wedding planning and work and kids were really getting to us. I was on the phone with V and telling her this and said I don’t think we should go because I don’t even know who I would ask to babysit. Not at ALL implying I wanted her to do it. She then offered to take the girls for a week. I said no and she said it would work out perfect because nobody would have to worry about getting them back and forth to school and stuff. She said to just buy their lunch stuff and maybe a box of cereal for breakfast and we would call it even. I didn’t think she was serious because that’s a hell of a lot of kids for one person. She has another younger daughter who just turned 4. So I talked to my brother who was more than willing to stay at my place and take care of the girls. I called V back and told her my bro was gunna stay at my house with them, but she insisted the kids stay with her. I asked the girls what they would rather do and they both wanted to stay with V. We went away, came home and I pick up my kids. V seemed very irritated but after having 5 girls for a week I could totally understand that haha. I asked her how mine were and she said they were perfect. She said she never had a single issue with my girls, just O wasn’t being nice and kept having melt downs all week. To the point where O’s aunt had to remove her from the house because she was being completely nasty and awful towards everyone. My kids, her sisters, and towards her mom to. V said she thinks O just couldn’t handle anyone “being in her space”. I can understand that but only to a certain point.
abby had brought her iPod over with her. O was playing with it and Abby asked for it back. O refused and Abby told V so O got in trouble and wasn’t to happy about it. Next day at school, their friends were asking Abby what it was like living with O. Abby said not to great. She told them O was mad at her because she wouldn’t give her iPod back and Abby had told on her. they walked home from school and O started crying to her mom about how Abby told everyone at school that O stole her iPod and now everyone calls her a thief. So not what happened. V got upset with Abby and the next day made Abby tell all the kids that it never happened and she had made it all up. So now Abby is a liar, even thowhat what she had originally said is true. She had to say there was never an incident involving an iPod. Abby said the rest of the week was the same. O would give her a hard time and Abby would tell O to knock it off and O would go crying to her mom that Abby was doing this or saying that and make Abby apologize for stuff she never did.
Abbys seat is directly in front of O. For the last MONTH O has been kicking Abby’s seat steady. Abby ssays every time she turns around to tell her to stop O yells at Abby to turn around and stop talking in class. Then Abby gets in trouble from the teacher for being disruptive to other classmates. Abby has a learning disability and can’t hear when there’s any background noise. There’s an FM system in the class for her to help with this. O mutters things to Abby about how stupid she is, she’s never going to be as smart as the rest of the kids in class and calls her lots of names. So instead of being able to hear the teacher and do her work, all she can hear is how stupid she is and she gets behind in her work. i told Abby to talk to the teacher and she does, but then O starts crying and says Abby’s lying and is only trying to get her in trouble. The teacher said they have to work it out themselves and she’s not getting involved. I called V and told her what’s going on. She said she would have another talk with her about how treating people like this is bullying and she’s not going to stand for it. But it continues and gets worse.
Abby lost all her friends in the last 4 weeks. O won’t allow Abby to play with them and tells them that Abby is immature, obnoxious, annoying and rude. She told the kids that Abby is the real thief and that she already proved she’s a liar with the iPod incident. Then she shoved Abby. I picked up Abby from school, again in tears. She told me what was going on and I called V again. She wouldn’t answer so I sent her a text saying that we seriously need to sit down with these girls and put an end to all this drama. How Abby’s coming home from school everyday upset because of what O is doing and saying to her. That now O is getting physical and I am sick of it. I also know that abbys not completely innocent in all this but at the same time, nobody deserves to be treated this way. I told her that we need to figure out from the two of them together what needs to happen to make the nastiness end. She finally responds saying that O is crying about how badly Abby is treating her at school and how she’s telling the kids lies about her and that Abby needs to stay away from O. Um. wtf. Today I picked up my girls from school and O and her sister were walking past me. The sister says hi to me and is really happy and smiling. O grabs her sisters hand, literally glares at me and then GROWLS at me!!! Another wtf moment. I get Abby and start heading back. No more then 10 mins later I get a whole slew of text messages from V about how Abby is never allowed to say O’s name, she is completely disgusted with Abby for the way she treats O at school and trying to turn their friends against her, that Abby is talking bad behind Os back and spreading lies. She said 2 other classmates told her this so now she knows the truth and everyone will know what a liar Abby is. She said that Abby has issues telling the truth and I need to deal with her before anything else happens to O. She said she treated my girls really good when they were at her house and isnt to pleased with how abby is repaying her. And she said that she caught Abby in several lies and caught her stealing from her while they were staying at her house. Then ended with “oh, and lets not forget last year when K was bullying O. Abby never got bullied, she was helping K bully O. Then she lied about cut to cover her ass. WHAT?!! First off, if I was watching someone’s kids and they tried to steal from me, that would probably be the FIRST thing I tell the parents when they ask “how were they”. Why wait 4 whole effing weeks to tell me?? Maybe because it isn’t true?? And now shes crazy and just happened to make up months of horrible bullying by K last year? im the one who had to deal with an unconsolable 8yr old for 3 months straight. She did not make that up. She said Abby called O fat yesterday when O wasn’t at school. I asked Abby and she said that the kids asked where O was and Abby said she went on the field trip with the primary’s. which was exactly where she was. Someone said maybe O was trying to get out of a math quiz and the kids laughed. How is that Abby talking bad behind this girls back? I asked about the fat comment. Abby said a boy in the class said yesterday that O and Jb would make the perfect couple because they’re both fat. I said well that’s pretty rude. what did that have to do with you? She said she was just standing there when the comment was made. But O decided it worked better for her if she could get Abby in trouble. I am not okay with this. Any of it. I tried to handle a situation maturely by having both girls sit down with us and talk it out, allowing BOTH girls to own their mistakes and apologize where needed. V would rather attack my child as well as myself and basically give me a “well she deserves it” attitude response. I just feel so badly for my daughter. She can’t catch a break with this family and the mother seems like she will be the type to create more trouble than O herself. Abby is extremely quiet and does not do any sort of confrontational situation well. I know my child enough to know full well she’s not going to call anyone names out of the blue or spread rumours. she is extremely quiet and painfully shy. She just hasn’t been herself lately, and understandably so. with only 4 days of school left, I have a hard time believing the school will do anything about it. I am taking this very seriously, But I feel like I’m the only one. I refused to respond to any of the texts V sent me today. I went onto Abby’s fb and read through all her messages. There was a chat Abby was linked to with two other girls. The girls were saying to each other that they feel really bad for Abby with the way O has been treating her and thought O would do something really bad to her. These girls are only 9 so I’m not really sure how to take that, but I printed out the convo just in case. I plan on taking these things to the principal Monday and at the very least, have Os seat changed and demand they be in separate classes next year. I would ask to have Abby’s seat changed but because of the fm system she needs to stay close to the speaker to hear the teacher properly.
What else can I do? Abby was upset because she felt that since I refused to reply to the messages and tell V Abby’s version of events it means I’m not sticking up for her. I tried to explain that mummy texting back will only make things worse. That its one of those “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” moments. And I had NOTHING nice to say. I want her to know you don’t have to sink to the other persons level to deal with a negative situation. but wtf am I supposed to do now.